Alhamdulillah

I find that as i write down my thoughts on my unknown blog,i somehow felt better. I was too consumed with emotion that i failed to realize how lucky ive been.

Alhamdulillah.

Rock bottom

So it seems that my relationship has once again hit rock bottom.maybe its just me.or maybe we were never good together.

somehow i kept telling myself i should be strong enough to move on when comes a time that the relationship will come to an end,yet i still wake up in the middle of the night hoping he'd texted or called while i was asleep.

How pathetic is that?i hated myself for being so weak.i reminded myself of the our brief seperation,how he seemed so well while i had to take an emergency leave because i cried the whole day,barely eating.

I couldnt help noticing how i am always tge one who victimised my own self,feeling sorry myself and kept on blaming myself for EVERYTHING that has gobe wrong in life,especially when it concerns my lovelife.

I should have some faith.in myself,and most importantly GOD.that He has a plan for me.i may not know what the plan is,but im pretty sure it'll be rewarding for me in the end.as for now,its just a sign for me to toughen up and move on. Not to depend totally on a person who is not even my husband/family. Because theres always that IF.

Nothing in certain in life.until God tells you it is.

Untitled

Hi.im having a flu.and i didnt go to work today because my body just wouldnt allow it.at times like these when i really miss being near my parents and the idea of staying on my own seems like a cold and miserable choice.

Coupled with the fact i just have enough to barely make it till my gaji,i really am miserable.he was supposed to be here,take me to the clinic,because i just cant drive on my own right now.but he's not.and he's giving excuses the same one he always do whenever i asked for something.

I learned a lot within these few days.that the guy you think would always be there for you might not be real,and no one can replace your parents,who wouldnt think twice of dropping everything for you.

Insya allah they will be okay

My sisters are going to start their scoliosis treatment at a government hospital soon.

I pray to Allah things will work out for the better.insya allah

Bad omen?

Im not a superstitious person.i dont believe that when you dream of snakes,it means someone is going to ask for your hand in marriage.i mean,that sounds like a major bullshit.what does snake have anything to do with being married right?

So it irks me that everytime it's my dental appointment,i have to brace myself for the worse because i ALWAYS get into a whole load of problems on that day itself.

Lemme see..hit a lorry because i wouldnt give way to him (he cut my queue),and today almost hit TWO motorcycles (in seperate occasions) and the latter even had the 'decency' to mock me and swerved right infront of my car as if daring me to hit him.(which i would certainly do just to teach that asshole a lesson).

So it occurs to me that whenever i go for my dental appointment,id run into traffic mishaps.i do not want to think of it like "me going to this dentist is not a good omen" because he's just a DENTIST for crying out loud!

Maybe its a sign that tells me in order for me to get great set of teeth,gotta run into all these shitty drivers because what is beauty without pain right??

Lucky ball no.8

It's so much easier if you're able to predict your future and see who you will spebd the rest of your life with.

Uncertainty is surely a scary thing.especially when you've got too much in stake.

Getting old and lazyyyy

Ive been going back to bangi every weekend. Now that im staying in subang on my own,i somehow feel obligated to go back every weekend.even when there's nothing much to do at home except for watching the tv and being a completely gross couch potato.

Somehow it feels gratifying.even when we're not doing anything.i am completely blissful being in the company of my parents,sisters and cats.

They make my world go round i guess.and maybe because im getting old.i cant remember the last time i spend ny weekend thronging the mall.

Hmm :/

P/s:this is usually what i do.sleep like mad and have my cats as my pillow or actually its the other way around.im their pillow and they even look annoyed when i shift my body.spoilt brats

Oh wow

My boss just told me he's increasing my salary to 10%.

I went O.O

When life gives you lemons..what do you do with it?

I'd make jugs of lemonade and poison myself to death.haha.

Just had my appraisal done yesterday.although it was not excellent with a capital E,but i know it's above average.and right after,our boss (the dato') took us all out for lunch and drinks at the pavillion,where we know joked about how he's in a good mood after the appraisal and maybe after the rest of the office has done theirs,he might want to repeat the same treat :) b

I'm actually happy where i am.surprisingly.ive managed to put aside my grievances on having to work in a small company as compared to my previous companies,and take this as an opportunity to grow and improve myself.its not everyday you get a chance to work closely with the managing director of the company.and it's not everyday that you get a chance to be fully involved with what..5 projects that consists of top consultants in the country (we may be small,but the boss has no qualms on spending on good consultants).

Im not saying im disregarding my past experiences of working with giant companies,they are after all,what has shaped me to become what i am now..at work that is.

And so far,my life seems to jive with what i'm doing and where i am at the moment.after work i'd make plans to hang out with my friends,i get to take the lrt (which means no more driving in kl and get stressed out over stupid drivers) and i get to be close to the ones i love. Like for instance,taking my sisters out for movies,watching sue perform with the impatient sisters,being near my cats,etc

So it dawned on me that as soon as i managed to overlook the fact that my office might not be as swanky as UEM's or OSK's, (although the current office is just behind KLCC), i gained a lot more than i ever had before. I havent even search for other jobs for months! (which is always a good thing)

So here's to life and feeling grateful and contented with what you have :)

Below is a picture of my hangout session watching sue perform last saturday :)

kahwin punya pasal

people have been bugging me..asking when the hell am i going to get married.well..if i knew when.i wouldve told you right?i almost snap.because it is a sensitive issue.i dont want to be compelled into getting married just because im at the 'right' age.i know for sure i am not mentally and financially ready to settle down.i dont even know if im with the right guy!heck.i know faliq is amazing.but there are times where u wonder if he is ur jodoh.

sometimes i hope that god would expedite this phase so i wont get harassed by kepochi makciks who's got anything better to do than mind other people's business.but then again..they would prolly continue harassing me when im married by asking when will i get a kid.

there's no pleasing 'em old folks!but for now.i guess one of the reasons i was suddenly eager to get married was because i was envious of my cousin.she had recently got married.and she seemed genuinely happy.and i envy that.hving a new member in the family.etc.sigh.im just a messed up kid who just didnt want to lose out in the race.

but who am i kidding.i dont want to get married for the sake of getting married.i want to be sure i will find the ok giy who will be there through thick and thin no matter what.

i dont have to grow up just yet :)

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of love and life

we always feel like life is treating us unfairly.whatever we have is never enough to satisfy our thirst of absolute happiness.

but have we ever stop and reflect how lucky we are?

even though my family has been hit with the most awful financial breakdown..i realized that our family ties/bond are stronger than ever.

yes.no one is perfect.you still have that annoying,self-righteous,snobby friend.but they're not THAT bad.they are still there when you needed them the most.and will not think twice about gvng u the support u need.

your house is not a huge ass mansion in a sprawling estate.fuck it.u still have a roof above ur head.

u dont have enough money.well...make do with what u have!

u hate ur job?quit!or..look at the bright side of things.what doesnt kill you will only make u stronger.

there.i said it.my life may not be perfect.but i have a lot of things to be grateful about.

p/s:kangoo's kittens are simply adorable.this one is spotty

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neighbours....

Ive been hving problems with the next door neighbour for years.we dont greet each other let alone talk.they made fun of my sisters (which i thoroughly despise) and litter into my lawn.my parents prefer to keep quiet than confront them over what they call petty matters.

But the one thing that burnede up was their liking for open burning.they've been doing this for years and sometimes burn rubber tyres and plastics!the pungent toxic smell would linger in our house the whole day and i was thinking to myself,what kind of a moron would burn plastic and rubber?well..them obviously.

Today was the day i have had enough because it ruined my weeknd.i told my dad to have a word with them but he said nothing.then i took matters upon my own hands and reported them to the dept of env.though it is still a long way to go from here..they should know that their selfishness will eventually bring them down.padan muka

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hello!

Omg..i was so sure i had to cull m blog..but now i can retract my decision now that android has a mobile blogger :)

Yeahh..about using samsung..i lost my bb.i still miss it.but when i saw just how many free apps i could get by using android..hel-lo new phone!

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When friends convene

Its not so easy to meet up with your friends now that most of them are working. Plans have to be made a week earlier, and theres always an issue of choosing the best place that is most convenient for everyone. But that didn't stop me from seeing great friends over the ramadhan :) And did i tell you that nina is leaving for san francisco a week after raya? She's taking a business course all the way in the states for one and half year :( i'm going to miss you nina!! But i'm happy that you're pursuing your dreams. And im glad i had the chance to see you for iftar :) And just yesterday had a really nice iftar with jaja and the rest of the gang.walaupun hanya sekejap :)

Ramdhan is the time for family

This ramadhan is probably the last time I get spend with my family,because by next year, they will be in Penang, whilst I will be in KL alone :(

Making the most counts, I'm glad I get the chance to experience ramadhan this year :)

An advice to future rempits out there

Melayu selalu dikaitkan dgn rempit. Not something we should be proud of. They're becoming a bane to community, and I think it's time we put a stop to this. To salvage whatever Malay identity we have, we do not want to represented by daredevils on a modified motorbikes who find pleasure terrorizing our roads.

I once knew a schoolmate who later became a mat rempit. Right after school he worked odd-jobs just so he can fund his hobby which is to go for illegal racing, and modify his bike. (at least he's doing an honest job instead of snatching people's purses!)

While most of us decide to further our studies to tertiary education, he stayed behind and became an office errand-boy. That was the last I heard of him. I hope he's found a better,more stable job to support him and his fmily, because we have to be realistic here, it's hard enough for someone with a diploma to get a decent job,let alone someone who only has his spm to fall back on. (unless you become a celebrity..then u spm educated oso never mind!haha.pun inteded)

If you notice,most rempits are youths fresh out of school. They think the world is within their grip and motorbike racing is all that.well boy, things won't stay the same 10 years later down the road man. You decide that youve had enough of studying because school sucked and you just think that it'll hinder your passion for rempit-ing. Well boy, later on You'll want to get married, and only then you realize life is not a bunch of roses like you thought it was. You and your wife will want to have kids, and kids are definitely not cheap to raise.

You had all the chances in the world to make your life work, but chose a fool's dream that could only make you happy for probably 3 years,and suffer the rest.why?

A tribute to the greatest woman alive

Well, she is the greatest woman alive,to me that is :) she's my mum..

Ibu's birthday was today,and ayah wanted to take us someplace nice for buka puasa. I immediately suggested Ben's KLCC. The ambience is nice,and the food was affordable, for a KLCC standard that is :/

We ordered like there was no tomorrow, from main course, to side dishes, and then dessert:) i've always wanted my parents to try the to-die-for chocolate cake ,and today it seemed like the perfect ocassion for it.

But by the time dessert came,we were at the brim if bursting our stomachs and we couldn't stuff anything inside anymore,not even the awesome chocolate cake :(

It was a nice dinner to celebrate the woman who has been keeping the family together, and she deserved a fun night out and it was a great night filled with laughter and many forms of eating (particularly stuffing ourselves until we couldn't take it anymore)

Really wanted to upload some pictures but can't seem to do it from my iPad :/ must go godek some more.

I'll upload it as soon as I know how :p

If only I can delete you as easy as in a friend list in facebook

Family members can either be your pillar of support or just a pain in the ass. Right now? I've got a beef with a few people whom I 'have' to call family.

I always seem like I'm complaining about my external family members don't I? But here's the truth. When you're in a deep shit,even your family members will suddenly pretend they're too busy to see you or just stopped calling you.

I've got a case, my dad bailed a relative out of his financial rut almost a decade ago. And then right after that,we faced a huge financial crisis, that left us basically struggling just to make ends meet. While this 'uncle' of mine has started over new leaf,made tonnes of money,and conveniently forget what my father did for him.

I'm not being vengeful, but it did make me wary of trusting people so easily. Even your own family can suddenly develop amnesia and forget about you the minute it became inconvenient for them to have connection with you.

Alhamdulillah, my family's condition has turned around for the better, and now we're just trying to move on from whatever that has happened. Allah knows best. And I have every faith that we will become stronger.

Sorry for the long hiatus

Oh god,I've been on such a long hiatus I doNt even know where to start.but guess how I'm blogging right now?via my new white iPad which I won from a lucky draw at the annual dinner for OSKP and that night happened to be my last day with osk!! Talk about getting an awesome going away gift huh?

so, just a quick update on what's happening:

1-my best friend,khairun,got married last June,and now she's PREGGERS!!!
2-I quit my job.I find myself to be the unsuitable candidate doing a job that requires you to do PR 24/7..I mean,I'm a cranky person,I don't even enjoy meeting new people.so before I sabotage my career path,it's better that I find something I'm happy about,I.e. Project management.
3-my parents are probably moving to Penang, :( ayah got a new job there so he's taking the whole brood along minus me.even my two cats,marmalade and kangoo will be moving as well! :( noffair!!!but anyway,despite my magic self,I hope this will be the best for our family.

Umm..that's all I can think about right now.aside from that,there's not much happening.I find myself becoming even more boring each day,must be something to do with getting older :/

Now that it's easier for me to blog..I'm pretty sure I'll be blogging frequently as I did before back when I was in Johor :)

the distressing call i received as soon as i got off from work

you know what's frustrating? When you have to please EVERYONE. here i was at my new JOB. thinking i'd be okay if i keep out of everyone's way (i.e., not care too much if im not included in the clique, etc.) because, hey, that'd be less of me you can find faults in right? WRONG.

Just got a call from my supervisor saying the HR manager has called him regarding my performance at work. apparently, someone has been complaining i haven't been in the office. I.E, SKIPPING WORK. mister, are u f* blind? we're all in the same office, you f* pass by my cubicle to see that I AM THERE!! so what the hell is this nonsense about me not coming to work?

oh my god. i can't tell you how shattering it was to receive a call like that from my boss, which ended with "you need to be more cautious from now on".whatttttttt

seriously mr fibber, if you have problems with the nature of my work (i am required to travel a lot for work, such as deliver documents, meet up with authority officers) then by all means, get me a new job description. i am more than willing to comply.

people who despise others to be happy brings me down. why?when u are just out to make others miserable, i wonder how your family members fare. not much i guess.