an emotional affair that ended with a fairy tale ending :)

my cousin got married last friday. from thursday until saturday; i dont know where the hell did we all (our whole family) got the enery from to keep on going. i think if there was an indication bar to state the current condition of our energy reserve, ours would be bright red with a warning we'd collapse anytime soon.

yes. it was that f* exhausting, but it was worth every single sweat. 

right after the akad (wedding solemnization); i couldnt help shedding a few tears; thinking how my dearest cousin, hazrina, who was close to being a big sister i never had, is now finally married and ready to leave our rahman clan nest. words couldnt describe how emotional that moment felt for me, as i reminisce the memories we had, especially our childhood years (we grew up together as i used to live with her family, because both my parents were working) within that split minutes bob (her husband) recited the vow. and im pretty sure manja felt even more sad than i was; given that they were both sisters :)

the wedding was a HUGE affair, when i meant huge, it really was. 4 big canopies should proof that i was right. and we were all decked in the same baju kurung (malay weddings usually see family members wearing same outifits;i.e the same fabric, or the same colour). i was given the task to distribute the bunga telur (doorgifts) to all guests; which sees me being on my feet the whole day. even faliq was thrown onto the bandwagon. he became the family's photographer while at the same time while taking the opportunity to mingle with my cousins. * an opportunist never lets a golden opportunity goes to waste!!muahaha*

butttt......when you've got everyone in this whole affair, there's bound to be some dramas, but yeah, we handled it pretty well. wouldnt want to let some small drama ruin the beautiful event now do we? :)

all in all, i loved the event. it was a testament that your family is there no matter what. even when you're ugly, or at your worst; your family will never abandon you and let you go through the shit alone. :) 

photos will be uploaded as soon as i get a copy from manja :) now. i need my sleep. because my eyes are beginning to resemble two ping pong balls and my eyebags are so visible, they might as well become my new set of cheeks -_-" get itttttt

p/s:going to weddings seem like an emotional affair to me now. maybe im at that age where i seriously want to settle down. :( but what can i do, no jodoh yet. insya allah my time will come soon.

toddlers and babies

today is the day spent with friends, family, toddlers and babies :) aside from seeing samir si mejam; stands for merah jambu BTW kerana die punya kulit macam omputih (HAHAHA) and the girls at wondermilk; abg adik and his troops came over to mama's house for lunch. hence; me playing with si adrian kerana budak-budak lain dah besar and would rather play amongst themselves than with an aunt who would smother them with hugs and kisses :(

i know i never really had the motherly instinct. i'm not like my cousins who had the experiences of taking care of a baby. i was more like the fun aunt who would amuse you while you still find me amusing. (usually the average age of this would be from 1-3 years old). and after that you'd just find me boring and play with your peers of the same age :/

but today. im just basking in the attention of my dear nephew adrian who finds me the coolest aunt in the world; imitating spongebob and what nots, just making him laugh brings me joy.sigh. dont you just wish they would just stay this way? and never grow up to become the angsty pimply teenager... :I

p/s:i love kids, the simplest things can make them happy. 

SPECIES PEREMPUAN PELIK #1

i am so not used to this. i mean, blogging from a cyber cafe rather than the comfort of my office cubicle (haha. kantoi dulu kat PH bukan buat keje pun, sebok blogging).

so yeah. currently im at the cc, blogging, while faliq is beside me, googling for lyrics for his next gig. *which will be this SATURDAY!! COME PEOPLE!!!IT WILL BE AT SJYC (please dont ask me what this stands for because i dont even know myself)* sempat plak buat promo di situ.

i had a post about species lelaki pelik; rightttt...so this time i guess, this is about species perempuan pelik numero uno! wanna know who makes the list? crazy ex gf from the past. jeng jeng jeng! *mintak mintak la korang bukan dari golongan ini*

ok. never really had an experience with crazy ex-gf from the past maybe because all the guys i dated before; well, their exes memang nak BUANG diorang jauh-jauh kot. HAHAH *ok, not so funny joke. -_-"

so i guess, it's just my luck that now I have a great bf (his name is faliq btw) even though yeah, we broke up for awhile, as you can see from my previous posts. but now we're about to celebrate our Thirdd anniversary, and hopefully, our jodoh akan dipanjangkan and..HURRAH!

so it's also just my luck that he comes with extra baggage that won't or should i say, refuse to shake him off from their lives even though their story has ended YEARS ago. my first year of relationship was rocked by his ex-gf whom i will call Z in this post. she was constantly calling him, and texting him; asking him about his whereabouts, and etc. This happens when she found out her precious ex bf suddenly has a new gf. the sudden interest in his whereabouts and his "keadaan sekarang" was amusing. after many repeated hints that Mr. F was in no way interested in attending her calls and messages, she kept quiet, and thankfully; left us in peace. Now, i ask you, why must you do this woman?? threatened that your ex-bf will no longer be your fall back plan, should your current bf, whom you left your ex for, was not the man you dreamed about eh?pfft.

i thought i've finally heard enough of this ex thing when suddenly, two years later, ANOTHER ex came into the picture. and guess what, apparently she has always been a bit psychotic. when it concerns Mr. F. and the funnier part was, they were only together in HIGH SCHOOL. oh-em-gee. i dont even know where to begin. before this she has left messages, and posts on fb under the pretense they were just keeping in touch for old times sakes (high school mates la konon); but things got really hot and heavy when she found out about our brief breakup.

leaving posts on fb walls, inviting him out for coffee, and another post stating "have i ever thanked you for your time last weekend?". wtf. the second post was when Mr. F and i was already on the verge of getting back together, and i can vouch that he didnt even spend time with her last weekend, as she has stated. so on what basis was this post made of??NOTHING!! only the satisfaction of knowing your ex's gf will boil in anger reading this post, because it is of course a very provocative post.

when i got REALLY UPSET about it, she had the audacity to be MAD at me for being MAD at her! anda nampak tak mindfuck games she's trying to play here?and she went as far as claiming that i am no good for him because i caused him to put me above his friends (her i presumed); and ALL of his friends hated me. what gives?whats wrong with you woman?you're already happy with your own sweet life. WHY must you give a shit about what your ex-bf is doing and with whom he's dating?

thank god i have Mr. F, whom patiently solved all these issues with sheer loyalty to the relationship and with a touch of coolness.

as for me, i'm just bidding my time, once she crosses my fucking line, im going all out b****. A note to all girls out there, let it go, if he's happy with someone new, be happy for him, he was never meant to be yours, and this might be the chance for you to meet your prince charming who might be better than him too :) so stop playing mind fuck games with his current beau; the poor girl is just trying to have a chance to have a happy life like you wanted.

p/s:thanks farhat for your tweet about my blog. appreciate it a lot :)

how do you deal with toxic family members?

ive been having problems with a few family members. its bad enough if you have issues with your friends, and when situation has surpassed the limit and is beyond repair; the ultimate solution would be breaking up with the friend. correct? but how do you deal with the few bad apples in the family? you cant simply just throw them away. but its also something very toxic to have to put up with their attitude.

what's worse, i think is our eastern culture whereby we cannot say anything against the elders or we're deemed as disrespectful and just simply "kurang hajar". but hello, lady, you've been bullying your family members for decades, and being insensitive towards other people's misfortunes. who is being kurang hajar here? 

i am not an angel, i dont mean to preach. but i hate it when people just simply cross the line and think no one is brave enough to tell them off. i was this close to make my opinions be heard actually. but my "eastern roots" caught the better of me, and ive decided to just keep my distance; and avoid contact. lagi banyak mengata lagi banyak dosa kita dapat kan? so its better if i just keep my distance from you and your FAMILY, and i'd live peacefully with the rest of the family members. 

do not have time to entertain idiots like you.

city slickers sucks like hell

faliq's away at the moment. for 5 days frolicking in the sun down under (in perth specifically) living the life of a backpacker. entah mandi ke tak aku pun tak tau. the first time he's the one who's away instead of me. and i must be feeling what he had been feeling when i went to Korea and Australia. :/ i woke up this morning and almost about to dial his number when i suddenly recall that he's in australia. so i told myself he'll be back in no time and i'd see him again this tuesday :)

work has been great. orrrr....not. :/ i absolutely love my job. it fits me well. seriously. who wouldn't like the fact that you get to work flexi hours, waking up at 9 when others are already sloughing their way to work. hahaha. my immediate superior is awesome. the thing about working with a guy is that...well. you have to be like a guy. they dont care about the nitty gritty details, all they want is the results. ho hum. 

the office? sure as hell not as gorgeous as puteri harbour. but the first few weeks i started working, ive been going to klcc and wangsa walk EVERY FREAKING SINGLE DAY after work. because im that PERAK about working in the city. (you must know that I've been working by the sea surrounded by umm....empty lands ready for development).

the working environment is sooo different! there are a lot of moments that made me miss the warm people of puteri harbour, but this is the life i have to lead now. no wonder people get stressed out working in the city. the congestion is enough to give you a heart attack, and the attitude. oh-my-god! where the hell did all these people come from? its like they came straight out of a "im born to be rude" class. had a few encounters with these people including the ones in my office which made me almost burst out in rage. i am just proud i stopped my urge to slap this particular person.

but aside from this, thankful that im back. :)

hiatus comeback

ive been on a very long hiatus havent i? before this i'd have one post daily; and now i only get to do this once a month.

well let's see. A LOT has happened. new work place; private life; friends; families. where do i start? and my english is so abhorrent i feel like slapping myself.

i think i need a breather. i dont even have time for myself. working in kl is so physically and mentally exhausting. i'd come home feeling bloody tired. of work. of having to go through the bloody congestion. and i dont even have time to finish a book! (well, two books now :) im reading a doctor in the house and paulo coelho's veronika decides to die; i guess im setting too high of a target for myself )

the only solace i get is now i am in the company of my family 24/7 and my friends :) thats all that matters right? home is where the people you love and care are. its still too early to tell about how i will be tackling my issues at the new workplace. first things first; i need to find a way to start blogging regularly. ive strayed quite far from the routine i was used to when i was in johor. just need some time to get into the rhythm of living in kl!!

p/s:and the fact that my new company blocked blogspot's website doesnt help either :p

seperti rusa sesat di kl

the move to kl has taken over my life;will update soon!

MY FAREWELL PARTY

they chose steamboat because right now I'm having difficulties in chewing, so steamboat is the best choice for soft food, well, compared to eating soup and porridge! *braces suck when it gets in the way of me and my glorious food cravings*

a few days prior to last night, i went to JJ with Kak Ikin and Awin on a window shopping spree (ceh, window shopping pun nak letak spree kan) and awin was looking for a new watch. KATENYEEE. so she asked me whch one did i like best. and guess what i got last night?

The dusty pink casio i chose. -_-" kene tipu terang2 :)

they were trying so hard in keeping the farewell party as a surprise. i was on the way to the venue of the party with Kak Yan and Kak Miza; when the boss called kak yan.

Boss: Where are you?

KY: We're on our way already (konon nak rahsia taknak bagitau aku venue kat mana)

Boss: owh it's not at Coxn? where is the party at?

KY:New York Hotel boss!

.....

FAKKKKKKK *Dalam hati kak yan kerana dgn senangnya dah kantoikan their surprise plan* 

I started laughing really hard. so did kak miza. hahaha. so much for wanting to blinfold me so i wouldnt find out where we were headed. in the end i pretended to be surprised when we reached the venue *kasi jaga sama muka kak yan supaya takde kene belasah dgn org lain* :P

i loved the fact that they've put in so much effort in organising the party, as well as getting me the gift. :) trully am touched by all this.

siap aisyah si kecik pun ada :D *she was fascinated with my braces. haha

tgk berape banyak kotak depa pakai nak nganjing aku. :P

:)

next up. Singapore trip!! cannot wait :)

p/s: ain't gonna let some anasir emo ruin my farewell party yo.  

MY WEEK IS FULL :)

my days in the office are numbered; and i can sense my colleagues are trying to squeeze as much time as possible with me. :')

we made plans throughout the week; including the weekends, which surely will occupy my mind. the thing is, he's here. in jb. i met him yesterday. and it was so comforting to just be near him. i know i know. I'm trawling on a dangerous territory right now. but yeah, the sense of comfort i once had; well, i miss it. and i just want an ounce of what i had before. just an ounce. not that much. that's all i asked for.

tomorrow is my supposedly "surprise" farewell party. well, because of the obliviousness of some people, they came and asked me upfront about my party, when in actual fact, I'm not even supposed to know there was going to be one! so now the secret is out of the bag, and I'm going to make sure i look my best for tomorrow :)

Saturday will be spent in Singapore :) a total of 12 people altogether; all stuffed in 3 cars, well, not so bad actually because it'd be 4 for each car; and i have no idea what the hell are we going to do there. i cant help but laugh over the fact that it resembles rombongan cik kiah. 12 people weh. how the hell are we supposed to appease 12 people's wants?? kak ikin said we'll just let them all run loose; while we (girls) proceed to our ultimate goal visiting Singapore. SHOPPINNNNGGGGG!!!

Sunday, well, they told me this morning they'd like to go to Kluang Station for breakfast. OH MANNNN... best sial. cannot wait :) just like old times :)

'Tis the season to be "jolly"

yesterday an old friend what's app-ed me after he found out about the break up.

Him: ko macamane ni?ok tak?
me: sakit dowh break. aku tak datang keje satu hari sebab depressed.
Him: e'eleh. baru break up je. relaks la. bende kecik je
me: e'eleh. cube ko break up, tgk sakit tak sakit. Not that aku doakan ko break up la
Him: aku baru je break
Me: *oopss..* : /

after a long awkward silence; we agreed on having a sesi luahan hati later when I'm back in KL so we'd get it out of both of our systems.

mane gua nak tau mamat ni pun baru break sia. i guess its the season kot : /

Things to look forward to

i have much to look forward to. believe me. recovering from a break up is hell-ish. don't believe me? ask my friends. who are constantly barraged with calls, messages, and tweets that is reflective of a person who's about to lock herself up in a tower and never go out again.

i would say the timing of the break up was untimely. when i'm about to leave Puteri Harbour. supposedly, at this moment of time, i should be focusing all my energy on my handing over (done already actually), and spending as much time as possible with my colleagues and enjoying my last moments here. but because of this break up (i really don't want to call this a break up, let's call this "the event"); i just cannot wait to get my ass back in kl, so i will be surrounded by my friends, the malls, and a few other activities that would definitely occupy my mind. say, for instance, be a member of the National Heritage Society. i want to regisiter NOWWWW!!

i really shouldn't moan about this, because life goes on. just that now, sakit sikit la. later on, i am pretty sure i'll be ok. so will he. maybe later in life we can be friends again, that's possible. but now, i just want the pain to stop. and now, in order for me to ease the pain, i'll go on my routine of wikipedia-ing, and tweeting, and just have some fun while i'm here. i won't get to see them when i move back to kl. friends right now, are much more important.

so here's a list to the road of recovery:

1. Go to all places i know i will miss in JB when i move; i.e., pasar karat, roost juice bar, singgah selalu, karaoke (itu mesti okaaayyy), hutan bandar. ape semua tempat makan and shopping ni...
2. Go to Singapore!! cannot wait :B finally after a year of working here, i'd finally have the chance to go to Singapore with my colleagues :)
3. bile pulang ke kl, buat braces belah gigi bawah. the pain will surely make me forget about my other "pain".
4. Start work at the new PLACE! HOMAIGODDDD TAKUT GILER!!!
5. watch Mael's performance at Laundry Bar
6. Go to Khairun's engagement :)
7. SPEND AS MUCH TIME AS POSSIBLE WITH MY GIRLFRIENDS!! (SEE THIS? ITS IN CAPS LOCK AND BOLD FONT BECAUSE THIS IS THE MOST IMPORTANT POINT OF ALL!!!)
8. go back to Kedah with my family for a family kenduri, as well as ammet's wedding. I miss Kedah!!!

see. banyak tu activity. ok la tu. Insya-Allah i'll be ok. :)

the message in the middle of the night.

yesterday night i received a message on facebook from tiana, one of my schoolmates back in high school. which she sent me after reading my post about the break up on my blog.

and it just warmed my heart to receive a message from someone i havent talked to in years, but was concerned about the current state i am now. she wished me the best, and hope i'll recover soon, and looks forward to cheerful posts in the future. thanks tiana :)

your message made me smile in the middle of the night, and i stopped having nightmares (which was now becoming even more frequent) after reading it. again, thanks for your concern. after all. we are all born fighters, tak macho la kalau mengaku kalah macam tu je kan? :)

another hurdle in life that i have to face to find happiness

my tumblr has been my best friend for the past few days. because i was able to blog straight from my BB. whenever i had the urge to call him, or think about those little moments i had; which was just too painful to spit it out, i'd write it on my tumblr. surprisingly it gave me comfort, although just a little bit, but at least there's something there.

during these trying times that you realize who are your bestfriends. and i am very much grateful that all of them are. they've been wonderful in helping me cope with the sudden loss of my relationship. the girls, kuhaz, sue, nina and sarah, seemed to be taking turns "babysitting" me through smses, whats app, and bbm. not to mention numerous calls whenever i had the urge to call him. bobo was there when i cried. amir told me to come back to kl, kak ikin provided me laughter and a brief distraction; awin listened to my woes through coffee session at McD, and khairun and max even called to advise me on how to approach this. they remind me of shrinks. all of them..

i even googled on how to move on after breaking up. the moving on 101 guide has beed quite logical, but some are just so PFFT! like having imaginary boxes to store thoughts about him, ho mannn.. if my head is like the computer i'd gladly do this, but i cannot store my thoughts about him in an imaginary box!

the best part was, this has brought me to closer to my mum. she was so gung-ho about me moving on that i was almost scared she'd kill me if i don't. -_-"

i don't know what will happen in the future. but i am on the road to recovery. though it may be a little bit slow, but i'm getting there.

Grilles on ma' teeth

after a decade of waiting. finally.. i present to you, my new look!im eksaiteddddd

ill be wearing these for a year and a half. sorry for the blurry pic. it was taken using my BB :)

though the process was quite painful, im glad ive finally gotten my teeth done. ive been wanting to wear braces ever since i was a teen. :) that's 10 years ago :) alhamdullillah.

i posted this on my fb and i received numerous enquiries about braces. does it hurt, how much does it cost, where did i get mine done, etc. never knew others were so excited about wearing them as well :)

but right now. this is my 3rd day without chocolate :( im close to dying actually. my gum is still not strong enough to chew, and frankly im bored with the porridge/soup/maggie diet. I WANT REAL FOOD!!

busuk hati

i've got beef with a few people at the moment. sometimes you just cant help but feel pure hatred towards a person. because it is beyond your comprehension why that person can be so mean, and malicious towards someone they call as "friend".

and we're talking about adults who are in the range of 30-45 years old ok. not TEENAGERS.

Might as well take them as teens. since they do not have the logic or common sense like NORMAL adults have.

the "glam" dinner

faliq and i were pretty excited about the dinner. we even went as far as getting a corsages for both of us; to implicate the "PROM" mood :)

my wrist corsage is a PRETTY white rose :)

getting ready at faliq's house saw HUGE intervention by Faliq's mum who almost fainted when she saw what i was going to wear. she even wanted to do my make-up; but then due to time constraints, i did my own make up and the results were BEST la jugak for a beginner like me :)

so this is what i wore for the dinner:

all courtesy of Auntie G :) she even loaned me her pearl bracelet and necklace

all of faliq's friends were dressed to the nines as well. and we were quite excited about the dinner. imagine to our horror when we discovered it was an AMWAY'S ANNUAL DINNER! no wonder our friend was keeping us in the dark about this, i think he was scared we'd find out.

dah name MLM, so it's filled with activities that glorify the founder / sifu of theirs, complete with phrases like luar biasa, lots of speeches that professes gratification towards the founder. *yeah, LUAR BIASA <--- the phrase they kept repeating throughout the event. -____-"

but we didnt let that damper our mood to have fun, so we tried our hardest to enjoy the rest of the night :)

neny (betul kan name ni?), herny and jaja

syah, faliq and i

saje nak tunjuk our corsages. we were the only ones with corsages. malu betullllllll

:)

one of the highlights of the night was the games. this one, we had to pick a guy from our table and dress him up as a girl with whatever materials we have (in which we chose razif), one guy from another table wrapped himself with the sash from the dinner table! in case you're wondering how we fared, we got second :) i was the one that wrapped the hijab for him. HAHA sempat lagi nak mencapapkan diri sebagai contributor

jaja spoiled our pic -_-" she has the tendency to do that when she saw couples taking photos. sazzy was attacked as well. HAHA.

sadly this is the only clear picture i have with faliq (T.T)

all in all, it was quite a memorable night :) in spite of the shocking discovery; it was a night spent with friends and fun :)

WHAT I DID DURING NEW YEAR'S EVE AND THE DAYS AFTER

Pictures can tell a thousand words, nuff said.

on new year's eve, we stumbled upon this:

see this? this is pretty scary. and FREAKING COOL. its a 3-storey high indoor slide and I'd be a fool if i didnt give this thing a try. hoho.so we did :) *btw, they even have an indoor flight simulator :)

TA-DAHH..it cost us RM 12 each -_- *yeah, who would've guessed that you've got to pay to ride on slides. but i tell ya, it'll take a while for you to be able to walk straight right after getting off the slide. sebab die pusing-pusing O.o

our attempt to camwhore afterwards. failed miserably because faliq's face was blocked by me. in case you're wondering where is this awesome place yg ade gelunsur dan simulator?? Empire @ Subang :)

next up. on 1st of January, we attended Faliq's close friend's wedding, and his bride happens to be my friend :) small world indeed :)

ainil and elly. ainil is soooo gorjes that day :) well, she has always been gorjes pun, tapi this time seri pengantin die sgt terserlah :) and i love white weddings, we all came dressed in white. *because we received a message from ainil asking if we'd come wearing white coloured outfits.

ok.everyone except for sidiq dressed in white. -_-" sidiq is the one dressed in black

later that night, we had the much talked about "Glam Dinner". which deserves a post on its own, much to tell.

2nd and 3rd were spent pretty much with the family. i went looking for tigger on the 3rd, but to no avail. almost broke down crying. later that night, kak ina called telling me they've caught her, only to find that it was a wrong cat when i came over. :( anyways, i hope she's safe and loved by anyone who has decided to keep her. she was my parents' favourite.

owh, in case you haven't heard. i'll be doing my braces pretty soon. END OF JANUARY!! that's soon enough!! cannot wait :)

BARU NAK START.TERHEGEH HEGEH

Just created a new account in Tumblr. Hurrah!

i know i know. im slow like that. -_-"

CUTI FREE FREE JE

source:MSN

weh.esok cuti weh.bleh balik KL awal weh. WOOT WOOT!! ni la baru best; apabila team malaysia menang bola, dapat cuti. so harap2 la selalu menang so we can get more holidays :)

New Year 2011 resolutions

Each year i'd have list of new year resolutions only to see that not even half of the items are not achieved. call it lack of self-empowerment to respect the list; but i DO IT ALL THE TIME!

 

so this coming new year, hopefully, will bring a new promise to GET THE LIST DONE!!

 

my 2011 resolutions:

1. SPEND WISELY (need to do this since i am known for my impulse spending streak)
2. START SAVING (no need goals i.e. untuk kawin ke ape yang sewaktu dgnnya, just start saving dammit!) been left with almost nothing by the end of month (THIS HAPPENS EVERYTIME). oooohhh!! i found this website that helps me understand HOW to save wisely, and what i should save up for. Insurance, investment. etc. i even get to download the budget calculator that checks my expenses if i ever do spend on deficit.
3. Sembahyang ni cube jangan TINGGAL. adoi. dah umur 24 tahun pun rongak lagi,memang tak tau malu. subuh and asar is hot on my 'tertinggal' list. zuhur ok sebab baru lepas balik from lunch, maghrib pn ok sbb baru sampai rumah from Office.Isyak paling kacang gajus; itu DONTKNOWWHATTOSAY.
4. place more emphasis on my appearance. i have to admit, being in Puteri Harbour, with it's oh-so-relax-lepak-tepi-yatch environment makes me pay less attention to the clothes i wear to work (come on, sometimes aku pakai skinny jeans je pegi keje) and how i put myself out there. :S
5. Stop being complacent. working in a new environment means there will be no more kakaks looking out for me. (KPI pun depa tolong. manja habissss) MUST BERUSAHA! be an EFFICIENT WORKER!!

itu je la yang larat nak tulis. nanti panjang2 pun, takut tak achieve plak (EH! BUANG PESSIMISTIC THOUGHTS!!)