from a sister

I’ve only found out that my sisters have Attention Deficit Disorder a few days ago. After 14 years being their big sister, I’ve just recently found out that my sisters have ADD. Maybe to some people, they would say they have ADD as a joke, but my sisters are diagnosed with ADD. This was why my sisters are still illiterate at the age of 14. I have never really given much thought of my sisters’ condition, until now. When I am in university, and I began to understand why ibu has always emphasized that my sisters will be my responsibilities in the future, when they’re gone. This is why I have to take my mother’s word literally.

Hundreds of visits to the hospital when we were kids have always been an agony to me. It meant I have to wake up early in the morning on a weekend just to avoid the catastrophic traffic of Kuala Lumpur, just to visit my sisters’ therapist at the HUKL. Although sometimes I looked forward to going to the HUKL’s café for their delicious donuts, I never understood the purpose of why my sisters had to visit the lady with the spectacles inside the room filled with toys and colorful balls, and why my sister Syanaz had to wear a specially – ordered shoes, but my dad said because she had difficulties in walking. Syanaz has always been the slower one, when Syafinaz, the youngest, was able to walk, she was still crawling.

I never understood why my sisters had speech difficulties and sometimes their pronunciation was different than other people, such as toilet was pronounced as toyet. And I never could grasp the reality that my sisters were slow learners until when I realized that they still had difficulties in reading at the age 12. I have to admit that all these while I was so embarrassed with my sisters’ condition that I never really cared what they had to go through, bullied by the kids from the neighborhood, never had the opportunity to go out and play with the other kids, because they didn’t want to play with them, and not being able to have a spoiled and wonderful childhood like I had, because of many other reasons. I was a cold – hearted and ignorant bitch.

Despite me being a horrible sister, it was them who were eager to talk to me on the phone when my dad called, just to ask if I had eaten. It was them who were eager to accompany my parents to send me off to college every time I came back. And it was them who were worried for me when I cried during one of my horrible break – ups. Although I had wished that God would reward them with a normal life one fine day, which I have to admit, one of the stupidest wish I have ever made, I have finally accepted my sister as they are. And I thank God for bringing them into my life. Imagine what would be like if I was the only child, I don’t think life would be as blissful as now.

Although they might not have the childhood like I had, but I know that they will be okay being surrounded by people who love them, and I think that is enough and as long as they have each other. My dearest sisters, although I know I don’t show it, and I have not always been the greatest sister, but I promise you with my life that I will always be there, taking care and loving you always.