torn and completely unhappy :(

i am fearing for my mental health, because as i woke up this morning, i realized that i was talking to myself in the mirror and im pretty sure my reflection replied me back.

this deteriorating state of my mental health is the contribution of prolonged stress due to lack of social life and job satisfaction which i am currently facing. so i woke up this morning, aside from dreading to go to work (which is a normal routine) i also realized what i want to do.

i am going to take my masters..haha..in what? wait for it..wait for it...MASTERS IN ARTS MAJORING IN CIVILISATIONAL STUDIES!!! how cool is that???

i mean, ive always loved history. if i had astro, my favourite channels would be the history channel, national geographic and discovery channel. *yes, im a geek..i just dont see the appeal of watching mtv and channel v 24/7. please dont get me wrong, remember, i told you, im a geek. i even knew about the history of nasi kandar dammit.

im not really sure of the career prosepect though because i am a hardcore daydreamer and dreamed of becoming an activist in conservation of some sort. most likely working with UNESCO. haih..but we all know that masters basically means that u'll be a lecturer, with a charity gig at the side.but i have yet to know if there is any

but the only thing that is bugging me is my responsibility to my parents. earning a decent living so that i can repay them back. in any way i can, make them comfortable, taking them to umrahs and hajjs, providing the best special education for my sisters, and many more, which i am thinking right now can only be achieved if i am here, in this shitty corporate state of mine.

im torn. that's what i am. my dad said i should go for it, do not let my dreams get away, but i cried when i think about the epf money we have to spend if i do continue, it was meant for the purchasing of our own house dammit. i searched the internet for the said budget for postgrad studies but that was in bajet mini 2009. im not so sure of bajet 2010. :(

any suggestions or advice that might help me out of this glitch perhaps?this could be a ticket out of my misery here in Puteri Harbour! :D