death and many other wishes

ive lost count on how many times i wish i were dead.the other day i almost got hit by a car, and the feeling was undescribable.wishing for death is not a normal thing, but yet, so many people have wished for it countless of times.

im not sure why i want to die, but maybe its because i think my existence in life is not required.or maybe because i think im a burden to the people around me.but nevertheless, opting for death is such a cowardly .....way out.

why do people want death?its so...menakutkan.being all alone in the grave,nothing but your amal to keep you company,given if you have any.i think ive been brainwashed by the media,about how there is no life after death,thus,death seems like a sweeter option in order to escape the cruelty of life.i solely blame U.S for this.

i think i need to re-evaluate my life.*i know ive said this hundreds of times* i need to go away for awile and come back as a new person that loves the way she is and the way God has provided for her.i need this.i think i need help.i think i need a friend.*im so lost here*