Tuesday, November 27, 2007


problems.problems.problems.you cant ran away from that huh?since the very first day you're memory starts functioning, problems have already settled comfortably in your mind. different people have different sets of problems.but im not going to talk about other people. im going to talk about myself since this is my damn blog.

ive got tonnes of problems that no one can imagine.my problems are sometimes so 'banyak', that i prefer sleeping than being awake.know why?because when you sleep, you get to dream, and when you dream, anything is possible.you want to be rich?beautiful?smart?powerful?easy, just pop a couple of sleeping pills and you're on.(although i dont need pills to sleep)

i have this self-issue that i have yet to solve.you see, i dont think i am THAT good.to anyone.not my family.my boyfriend.even my friends.sometimes i think im a waste of space.know why?because i think so.i tried too hard for anyone that i feel like kicking myself for beeing bloody stupid.why should i care when no one does right?why do I have to make all the moves?owh boo-hoo syaza.puh-lease.

but now,after analyzing myself, for these past few days.i have come to a decision which is to re-invent myself.no more sleeping to run away from problems.no more feeling sorry for myself.no more being clingy and dependent.i am wonderwoman.yeah.that might solve it.

lets see if ill be blogging again to whine about other things in the future


we trudged the road together for almost two years now.

but suddenly i realized that i need to get you out of the system.you're pulling me back.into something that seemed like a dream before, but now seems scarier when its upfront with reality.

i realized that i need to do this on my own.no one will be able to be there anymore.no one will have the time to care.im so sorry.you made me do this.you are responsible for this.maybe i have to thank you.i think that's appropriate.

im sorry that i feel this way