Thursday, May 29, 2008

one night encounter

Yesterday i couldnt stop looking at his face.afraid that if i turned away he would vanish.i held his hands for as long as i could.his smile, the way his face lights up when he laughs, it was just the same as i remembered.

i dont know if you know this, but you could still make my heart flip, even after 2 years down the road.i love you.

Saturday, May 24, 2008

im still at the office

im still at the office, and i have learn something up to this point.i have toiled with the stupid microsoft word for two days straight, and im yearning to go back home.

i have learnt that patience is indeed the biggest weapon, and holding yourself from being angry shows how courageous you are actually.

so you can imagine how many times ive cursed the computer loud enough until the whole office konws that i think the pc is fucked up. haha.this is one of the moments in my life that i will never forget. :)

i think ill miss the office when i leave next month. but then, i wouldnt want to continue working here. oh no.i dont want to turn into a walking zombie.

Friday, May 23, 2008

sudden realization

after spending a night of love-hate relationship with microsoft word and my ultra-slow pc, im glad that im also at the end of the road for this editing thing.i dont think i can look at any editing tasks without puking, rather help them bind the whole bloody 30 reports than edit ever again.i mean for now.

ive suffered through severe breakdown because of a stupid editing task, and i realized that i dont really handle stress that well.this sudden realization has somehow stirred a long-fought battle of me and hating myself.

i dont know how im supposed to overcome this.but i have to.because i think its causing my future prospect of becoming successful.

Tuesday, May 20, 2008

the normal weekend nite out at cenfad didnt really turn out the way i wanted to. i didnt really had that much fun, and the outcome has left me even more confused and frustrated.

so..there goes my mission to socialise..humph.anyways....the weekend was great.the whole family celebrated adik's birthday.they didnt even know it was their birthday. when i took them out to buy chocolates (the only thing i could afford at the moment), they were brimming with joy, that i almost cried, because i couldnt give them a better gift at the moment.

auntie ana and pak onn came, abang adik and family came, and so did kak aya and anti ani.i was happy that they came to wish my sisters happy birthday.i dont think any other family could be more supportive than this.mama made her famous karipap and a few other was a great night.

on wesak day, kori came over and we hung out at ou..although it was almost close to kutu rayau, the both of us, i was pretty happy that i once had a normal weekend hanging out at the mall doing nothing and munching pretzels.

there goes my im currently at the office.boohoo...haha.submission is tomorrow.better go before my boss catches me blogging.ciao.

Saturday, May 17, 2008

my rusty social skills

after reading my past entries, ive realized how bad my english is..was..aiyeh.see.i cant even get the proper tense correct.i need help.

anyway..right now im at the office..haha.big surprise..its 1.30 in the morning,and i cant believe that my eyes are still wide is falique's birthday..happy birthday yo!!i wonder if he managed to get home in time for his family meal..but then he has already swallowed a medium spicy chicken mcdeluxe meal as an "alas perut.

anyhoots....tomorrow im going to cenfad..where there's this graphic cum fashion show is going to be held.its been awhile since ive socialised outside my usual actually kinda nervous since im pretty sure my social skills have gotten a bit rusty, and falique and man are the only people i know who will be there.and they will come with their OTHER friends.i was actually a bit reluctant but then, since man insisted,i had to say yes, and since i badly need to socialise because my social sims bar is decreasing each day,why not?

so,here's to syaza and her attempt to socialise again.GOOD LUCK.

Thursday, May 15, 2008

hate to admit this

im going to miss this firm when ive finished my not sure if they'll remember me after 5 years from now.but i will.


aiyah...sue ni kan...

eyh..sue ni i feel obligated seeing my other mates have done it.

1. Do you believe in love at first sight?
i not anymore.
2. Do you eat without brushing your teeth?
yes..hehe...sometimes..(i know im gross)
3. Where is the place that you want to go the most?
anywhere but malaysia
4. If you had only 1 wish, what would you wish for?
that my father will be successful one day.i hate seeing him being tired of life.
5. Do you believe in seeing a rainbow after the rain? not really sure about this supposed to be related to all that scientific shit?
6. Do you like being who you are today?
surprisingly, yes. :)
7. If you win $1 million, what would you do?
buy my family a house that my mom have always dream of,a car for my dad,for myself,bawak my family pg holiday,and then go study in uk.
8. If you could change your name, what would it be?
syaza the great
9. If you meet someone that you love, would you confess to him/her? not sure.tgk keadaan la.
10. Would you swim in a vat of chocolate?
mestilah!!!siap buat backstroke lg.but then melted chocolate wouldve been too thick.maybe later id drown in it.
11. Do you love yourself more than you love others?
12. Which do you prefer from your other half? hug? or a kiss?
aiyoh...i like greedy i know,but its not hard to actually do both.why choose?
13. If you have faults, would you rather the people around you point out to you or would you rather they keep quiet?
id rather they tell me in a discreet manner..not upfront kinda thing,that wouldve bruised my ego.
14. What do you think is the most important thing in your life?
15. Are you a shopaholic or not?
owh yes.if only i have the money.
16. What kind of electronic device/gadget you own that you like most?
17. If you have a chance, which part of your character you would like to change?
my constant paranoia of the creature from the other-world,me being too self-concious about myself.i need to be confident and proud of who i am.
18. What makes you feel disappointed?
when you're being too hopeful of certain things,that you're too confident it'll come hopelessly hopeful.
19. If given a chance, do you want to see your future? not sure if i can handle it.
20. What would you do when your secret is being found out?
muke akan menjadi merah..and stutter..and trying to act all cool...(but that wouldve been futile since im such a bad liar)

Who I tag: sape-sape yang tak buat lagi.

four stinkin' people

our eyes were red,and we were already doused with extreme tiredness. we hadnt bathed since yesterday, and we didnt even brush our teeth.

we decided to go to pyramid.

to the workers at Zen cafe, sorry if we have given you the gift of wonderful odours.and we also apologise if we have almost made you faint just by talking to us, and smelling our 'lovely breath'.

p/s:we'll come by some other day all clean up just to show you that we dont practice this on our own willingness.

that day

that day he came with a smile that melted (is there such word?hahaha) my heart.somehow i have forgotten how long i haven't actually experience this feeling, like a lovesick teenager, bursting with happiness and giddiness.

ive to admit that i will always miss that closeness which i can only taste once a month now. but this has also made me appreciate our relationship more.being more grateful that his love for me is even more visible than before, how he held on to his promise that he'll be back once a month, even if its just to spend a day with me.

thank you b.

Tuesday, May 06, 2008

the meaningful trip

yesterday night my girlfriends (sue,kuhaz and radhi) came all the way from gombak.although it wasnt even close to 2 hours,but the dinner at the mamak near to my office was worth it :)

i cant remember the last time i laughed like i did last night.and after the meeting, i was left with such a happy and loved feeling that i wished i could do it sure put a smile to my already downtrodden mood (i had to stay back again last night).

i recalled how nina,radi and ida came all the way from pj to gombak for my khatam (even my boyfriend at that time which was arif, didnt show up).i recalled how alif came to kelana jaya all the way from usj just to take me out for a drink at syed's which is only a 5 minutes walk from mama's house.and the time when khairun and sab came to my house in bangi when we first moved just for a meal using the public transport (we were only 16, and it was actually beyond words that they 'sanggup' to take the public transport at all in the first place).

these trips made by friends reminds you of how lucky you are.sometimes i dont think i actually deserve this.but i am grateful to be blessed with these memories, which not many people are given the chance to experience it.

Sunday, May 04, 2008

you deserve to be happy

i waited for this to be over soon.but it kept going on and on like a music played to frequently on the radio that you wished it would stop now,only it didnt,it became more frequent until you feel like throwing up.only in this case,its not throwing up.its how you have to manage not to hang yourself because at this moment of time, life is just too disappointing and too much to bear.

you dont want to hold it.nor do you want the whole world to what you do is to blog like what im doing right now.of course,life shouldn't be blamed for all the disappointments you are currently undergoing, because that would just mean that you're a freaking loser.

this is when you make the decision to be more than life has to what if you are not rich like the rest of the people around you.that shouldnt make you feel like you're not as high and mighty as they are.because you deserve to be happy as much as the rest of the human beings are.

i watched the pursuit of happyness.i think everyone should watch really moved made me realize that even if im encountering a very huge loophole at the moment,that shouldnt make me feel like im not better than the others.