Monday, September 28, 2009

today is not my day, definitely

Arrived in uia, at 11.30, hoping to get all this clearance shit out of my way before i collect my robe this coming saturday. ooohhhh...walking to Mahallah Asiah is a challenging task. it takes 15 minutes to walk to asiah from the bus stop opposite the engineering faculty (i didnt know how i did it back then).

how was i to know that this university is soooo GENEROUS in giving extra holidays to their "hard-working" staffs. imagine my surprise when i arrived at the office, only to be entertained by one single staff, who didnt have any authority to clear my status! APPARENTLY, the WHOLE office was on EMERGENCY LEAVE. what is this? this is not the first time this happens! imagine some students who are already working and having to take leave just to do their clearance and be faced with this RIDICULOUS situation. "adik datang la esok eh"..amboi2..senang nye nak suruh aku datang esok..esok aku dah start training la kak, kat rawang plak tu, khamis nak kene pegi johor.. sabtu aku dah kene amik robe..habis bile tahun aku nak clear sume bende ni???!!!dah dapat seminggu cuti pun tak cukup ke??oh my god.i really am speechless...

so..with the bad luck of not being able to clear my status at the mahallah, automatically i cant clear my status at security, hence, i will not be able to get my transcript as i expected. * seriously loss for words. only god knows how i feel right now

okay sekarang, 1. UIA patut, buat clearance tu kat satu tempat je.biar senang settle sume bende
2. tak pun, kalau nak cuti pun, bagi la staff2 lain yang ade authority tu jgn cuti, at least biarkan seorang ade, macam finance tu, sentiasa ade orang boleh buat clearance, kan ke efficient tu..tak professional lansung. and thoroughly selfish.
3. clearance ni tak payah buat lansung. berape hutang, bayar je kat finance, habis cerita. tak payah nak tergedik2 pegi ke setiap tempat nak mintak signature.

kalau ade orang uia baca, please take note of my wonderful suggestions. this is definitely a constructive criticism, because you have to admit, your service sucks. so if you want to ban me for voicing out my displeasure, please admit that you are at fault too.

Saturday, September 26, 2009

lantern kid

when i was a kid, i had a lantern shaped of a fish made of polythene foil. i practically had to beg my parents to buy it during the chinese lantern festival. i didnt have anyone to play with at the time, my being growing up in kj, i had little friends back home.

so there i was. running around in my small yard with my gold-fish lantern, and i was the happiest kid alive.

i wished i could be satisfied with just a lit lantern now. oh how life was so simple back then. you had little needs, and the smallest things in life makes you the happiest person on earth.

Friday, September 25, 2009

keje keje..lalalala

dah dua kali sign in kat blog, but is left with a blank head, and later signing off without posting anything.

this year's raya is a bit lukewarm as compared to last year. a lot of things happened that might leave us, family, a bit reluctant to celebrate. however, a lot of blessings from Allah have been on our doorsteps that i am every bit thankful as well.

i will be starting my GEMS (Govt. Employability Management Scheme) training soon, on the 29th to be exact, which will be on my birthday *groans. and on the 1st of october, i will be heading to johor for an interview with UEM. *wish me luck!!

hopefully by next raya, i will be able to give duit raya instead of receiving it ;)

Tuesday, September 15, 2009

Indah khabar dari rupa

I guess ive always had insecurity issues that can sometimes go beyond help. it wasnt just with the current boyfriend..but all of my previous bfs encountered a series of insecurity issues which was not very helpful to the relationship and to my self-confidence.

the current relationship has seen my insecurities go out of the window and slapping me in the face thousands of times. well, a lot had to do with the people around my bf who expected him to date another model-like person, only to be surprised by a selekeh dwarf-like figure by the name of NUR SYAZA!

however, past experiences has taught me that physical appearances does not count (okay, it does a bit la..) but its the heart that really matters. and if you dont love yourself, how can others?righttttt????

betul la jugak ape orang kate.cliche banyak mane pun, its actually true. ive seen my self suffer the worst case of insecurities only to see my own self being compromised and moulded into someone i was not.

jadi kawan2..just do whatever the hell that u please.kalau anda nak pakai tudung, pakai lah..walaupun orang disekeliling bilang anda lagi lawa tak pakai tudung..yang penting, anda yang nak pakai :)

Saturday, September 12, 2009

dads and their rules

i came back at 1.36 am last night. and just as i expected, my dad was still downstairs watching the television, when in actual fact, he wasnt really watching the tv, he was actually waiting for me to come back home.

we've had numerous arguments about my curfew, which im guessing is quietly being moved earlier by the day. the weirdest thing was when i was in my high school, or during my uni days, he doesnt mind if i come home later than midnight. i thought it should be the other way around. as u grow older, your parents' clutches on you loosens, right?

but all in all, im actually touched that he still cares about my whereabouts. he calls when im still not home, he makes sure im safely at home before going to bed, and never fails to let me know that he is worried about me (although it can be a tad annoyng when he goes on talking about me getting robbed and raped by mat rempits).

he wont even let me stay on my own if i do get a job later in the near future (hopefully :p ) until i get married. *sigh* dads and their overprotective rules on their daughters eyh?

Thursday, September 10, 2009

nak senyum kat strangers ke tak

how is it that people are able to find each other and know one another? how do they know that this stranger in front of them isnt their soulmate.

i find it amazing that some people are so friendly and at ease at talking to strangers. i have encountered several occasions where a complete stranger came up to me and strike a conversation and left such a deep impact in my life.

i cant even manage a smile at strangers. let alone talking. i saw this ad about a toothless guy who didnt want to smile to anyone. because..well..he's missing quite a few in the front..if you know what i mean..

but how would you know that random guy who spoke to you a while back is not a psychotic killer or rapists?

aiyoh..people these days are so bogged down by misconceptions and suspicions it destroys the very thread of making new friends.

maybe i should really start smiling. senyumlah..budaya tu menunjukkan bangsa kan..

how to not feel sorry for yourself..

when faced with people who has a habit of putting you down, intentionally or unintentionally, it is normal to feel a bit downtrodden, or worse, feeling sorry for yourself. i learnt a useful tip to counter this feeling, without having to buat dosa by cursing the person, or harbour any hasad dengki;

firstly, create a list of your own accomplishments, or what you like about yourself that you think others do not (of course this is easy, because you are special in your own unique way);

for e.g., this is my list of accomplishments (i just stick to 5, you can list more if you want to):

1. I managed to complete my project paper within the duration of 8 weeks only without having to extend to a full semester
2. I did a project paper based on a topic that i wanted, not because it is easier, or i can just get it over and done with..and didnt give up when faced with challenges such as when a particular lecturer refused to be my supervisor and even bumped me to another one because he hated my topic.
3. and still managed to get an A- even though intially i faced challenges of lecturers refusing to be my supervisor because of my not-so-conventional topic.
4. I managed to mantain my grades at 3.0 and above even though i failed a subject once.
5. The dean invited me to present my project paper for an upcoming Universal Design seminar that will be held this December

yes, i agree that so far, my accomplishments are purely academical, and i am confident i will achieve more once i start working. anyway, back to the topic, read the list each time you feel down, or start to feel sorry for yourself, keep a small note in your bag if it will help. and read it before you go to sleep.

trust me, you will stop feeling sorry for yourself, and will definitely have a new zeal in each of your step :)

Monday, September 07, 2009

refound faith

spending my days reading the quran and literatures on islam has somehow made me found my faith that were slowly diminishing over the years. ramadahan is indeed a special month. reflecting on my past actions and how i felt, reacted to situations thrust upon me, has made me realized how far i have gone astray in just 5 years time. the irony of this is it happened while i was a student at reknowned islamic university.

i am calmer, mature and more susceptible to change these days. i learnt that although i might be less fortunate than my peers, there are others out there who are in a much dire situation than i am in.

God is Great indeed. it (faith) was there all along. only i didnt realize it.