Friday, December 30, 2011


I find that as i write down my thoughts on my unknown blog,i somehow felt better. I was too consumed with emotion that i failed to realize how lucky ive been.


Rock bottom

So it seems that my relationship has once again hit rock bottom.maybe its just me.or maybe we were never good together.

somehow i kept telling myself i should be strong enough to move on when comes a time that the relationship will come to an end,yet i still wake up in the middle of the night hoping he'd texted or called while i was asleep.

How pathetic is that?i hated myself for being so weak.i reminded myself of the our brief seperation,how he seemed so well while i had to take an emergency leave because i cried the whole day,barely eating.

I couldnt help noticing how i am always tge one who victimised my own self,feeling sorry myself and kept on blaming myself for EVERYTHING that has gobe wrong in life,especially when it concerns my lovelife.

I should have some myself,and most importantly GOD.that He has a plan for me.i may not know what the plan is,but im pretty sure it'll be rewarding for me in the for now,its just a sign for me to toughen up and move on. Not to depend totally on a person who is not even my husband/family. Because theres always that IF.

Nothing in certain in life.until God tells you it is.

Thursday, December 29, 2011

Untitled having a flu.and i didnt go to work today because my body just wouldnt allow times like these when i really miss being near my parents and the idea of staying on my own seems like a cold and miserable choice.

Coupled with the fact i just have enough to barely make it till my gaji,i really am miserable.he was supposed to be here,take me to the clinic,because i just cant drive on my own right now.but he's not.and he's giving excuses the same one he always do whenever i asked for something.

I learned a lot within these few days.that the guy you think would always be there for you might not be real,and no one can replace your parents,who wouldnt think twice of dropping everything for you.

Thursday, December 22, 2011

Insya allah they will be okay

My sisters are going to start their scoliosis treatment at a government hospital soon.

I pray to Allah things will work out for the better.insya allah

Saturday, December 17, 2011

Bad omen?

Im not a superstitious person.i dont believe that when you dream of snakes,it means someone is going to ask for your hand in marriage.i mean,that sounds like a major bullshit.what does snake have anything to do with being married right?

So it irks me that everytime it's my dental appointment,i have to brace myself for the worse because i ALWAYS get into a whole load of problems on that day itself.

Lemme see..hit a lorry because i wouldnt give way to him (he cut my queue),and today almost hit TWO motorcycles (in seperate occasions) and the latter even had the 'decency' to mock me and swerved right infront of my car as if daring me to hit him.(which i would certainly do just to teach that asshole a lesson).

So it occurs to me that whenever i go for my dental appointment,id run into traffic mishaps.i do not want to think of it like "me going to this dentist is not a good omen" because he's just a DENTIST for crying out loud!

Maybe its a sign that tells me in order for me to get great set of teeth,gotta run into all these shitty drivers because what is beauty without pain right??

Tuesday, December 13, 2011

Lucky ball no.8

It's so much easier if you're able to predict your future and see who you will spebd the rest of your life with.

Uncertainty is surely a scary thing.especially when you've got too much in stake.

Getting old and lazyyyy

Ive been going back to bangi every weekend. Now that im staying in subang on my own,i somehow feel obligated to go back every weekend.even when there's nothing much to do at home except for watching the tv and being a completely gross couch potato.

Somehow it feels gratifying.even when we're not doing anything.i am completely blissful being in the company of my parents,sisters and cats.

They make my world go round i guess.and maybe because im getting old.i cant remember the last time i spend ny weekend thronging the mall.

Hmm :/

P/s:this is usually what i do.sleep like mad and have my cats as my pillow or actually its the other way their pillow and they even look annoyed when i shift my body.spoilt brats

Oh wow

My boss just told me he's increasing my salary to 10%.

I went O.O

Wednesday, December 07, 2011

When life gives you lemons..what do you do with it?

I'd make jugs of lemonade and poison myself to death.haha.

Just had my appraisal done yesterday.although it was not excellent with a capital E,but i know it's above average.and right after,our boss (the dato') took us all out for lunch and drinks at the pavillion,where we know joked about how he's in a good mood after the appraisal and maybe after the rest of the office has done theirs,he might want to repeat the same treat :) b

I'm actually happy where i am.surprisingly.ive managed to put aside my grievances on having to work in a small company as compared to my previous companies,and take this as an opportunity to grow and improve myself.its not everyday you get a chance to work closely with the managing director of the company.and it's not everyday that you get a chance to be fully involved with what..5 projects that consists of top consultants in the country (we may be small,but the boss has no qualms on spending on good consultants).

Im not saying im disregarding my past experiences of working with giant companies,they are after all,what has shaped me to become what i am work that is.

And so far,my life seems to jive with what i'm doing and where i am at the moment.after work i'd make plans to hang out with my friends,i get to take the lrt (which means no more driving in kl and get stressed out over stupid drivers) and i get to be close to the ones i love. Like for instance,taking my sisters out for movies,watching sue perform with the impatient sisters,being near my cats,etc

So it dawned on me that as soon as i managed to overlook the fact that my office might not be as swanky as UEM's or OSK's, (although the current office is just behind KLCC), i gained a lot more than i ever had before. I havent even search for other jobs for months! (which is always a good thing)

So here's to life and feeling grateful and contented with what you have :)

Below is a picture of my hangout session watching sue perform last saturday :)