i promise

i cant change what u are to me.maybe i am weak after all.for still caring.funny,ive always pride myself for my ability to shut people out of my life.but not you.maybe its not that easy.maybe i need more time to prepare,to let you go completely.

but dont you worry about me.ill be fine.i always am.i know im stronger than i think i am.hey,youve been in a much more worse condition than this.so,ill be fine.

funny,u wont even read this.but ill be fine.thats a promise.so,if all ur seeing now is a big black cloud, ull see sunshine soon.i promise.

what i feel rite now

im having all this mixed up emotions..that i cant even describe anyone of it thats been bogling in my head..so:

-im feeling f***ing sad and down because i just broke(everbody feels that way,unless u memang nak tinggalkan that person seabad lalu)
-im pissed at the hod's secretary because i still havent gotten the rest of the sponsorship's letter
-kesian at the hod's secretary sebab i gave her a long list of addresses for the letters
-stressed out because everbody is breathing down my freaking neck asking about the damn sponsors
-pissed(for another reason) because my ex is being stupid
-scared if the sponsors arent really sponsoring
-pening kepale because my ex cakap keling(ini hanyalah perumpamaan)
-craving for chocolates
-craving for mochas
-scared i might grow fat because i tend to eat a LOT when im stressed out and rite now i AM STRESSED OUT
-malas nak balik naik public transport because i hate the public transport (which is evident in my blog entries)

so..those are some of the feelings i managed to pull out for a sec for this blog entry before it squeezes its way back in..have a nice day folks..coz im not =(

penat lah

aiyo...so penat la jadi budak planmic..ive been ulang-alik- ing to uia from bangi for the past 3 days...naik public transport ok!

so when other students were actually enjoying their HOLIDAY..i was dozing off in the lrt..waiting for it to reach terminal putra so i could get to kaed..by BUS..

why am i making such a big FUSS over taking the public transport??BECAUSE IT SUX!and i think im broke already..and im not even doing something FUN with my cash!

here's to the LRT company..enjoy my duit...next time..please do something to reduce the screeching sound of the train...i nak mati dengar the damn train sreeching against the rail..macam dengar garpu dok scratch kat pinggan over and over again...

soo's bday

mereka yang gila2 belaka


3rd of june was sue`s birthday. Yep, sue, the darling of everyone. Few days before, she told her why she always celebrate her birthday with her family, after a quite dreadful experience that has somehow proven that girls can be quite b****y. (no hard feelings eh?)….

So we were quite energized to make it up to her, when she hinted that she might be going back to kuantan. Aiyah…manyak susah la ini macam. Anyway, after much harassment committed towards dear kuku, (since she’s sue’s roomie and all, to korek infos), we were quite happy that we found out that she’s not going back after all…yippie ya yay!

So, a tribute to sue’s birthday, and not to forget nina’s as well…but her mum came over to semenanjung, so..we were positive she had an excellent birthday celebration :)

Sue, we’re so sorry the petting zoo closed down (stupid website, never tell oso). Hope you cherish malar hijau’s house pix (even though you don’t “like” him anymore). We had fun eating your cake..haha..and we hope you’ll take care of bob esponja.

Nina, we’re sorry we didn’t put up a celebration for you (blame it on uia for having ungs exam). We would have loved to buy you a nice big cake, but you don’t eat cake…(but if you nak cake, cakap jet au..we’ll buy 1 for you :) ). Happy birthday princess!

yahoo!!

YAHOO!!!!
exam is OVER...shor sem is OVER..haha...sukanya hatiku!
so..rite now im just killing my time, where i had lunch at kaed cafe (after such a LONG time)..and listening to sara yakking (haha) about jelly beans's history and the fact that the best jelly beans are called jelly-bellies...weird...

so..i`ll be celebrating my freedom by having an appointment with my student advirsor, going to a planmic meeting (fucking boring), and watching cars with sara and my boyfriend.

p/s:im wearing my new indian slippers..~gorgeous piece of investment!
bye~

the story

soo....syaza got herself into a new glitch..
okay..maybe not a glitch la..more like a gaung..
see..during the first semester, she noticed a cute second year student whom she nicknamed daniel.

and everytime daniel walked past by, she froze and blushed.because she likes him you see.so..1st sem passed without as much as a hint of her knowing his real name.2nd sem, she knows through a friend that his name is syahir.

then came 3rd sem..well..syaza has already gotten herself a new boyfriend. and they share what people call a 'volatile' relationship. but they are smitten over each other.really.

suddenly, one of syaza's friend, sue, somehow managed to get to know this daniel.and to cut the story short, daniel somehow knew syaza existed and got her number.to cut the story shorter, now they're smsing each other, so frequently that syaza has to top up more frequent than her normal rate.

and one night, they went out together.and it was a blast.but it was somehow an un-blast to syaza's relationship.because syaza's bf somehow knew she went out with a guy.

the shortest cut?...syaza and daniel like each other.but they both are taken.syaza patched up her relationship.and syaza and daniel became friends, who know bets among each other for world cup matches.

~the end

hobi saya

i have a new hobby!and that is naik lrt!
oohh...i love the fast train, yang bukan sahaja berjasa kepada segala umat manusia di klang valley, malah, ia juga snagat menyeronokkan!

lrt train is good for people who enjoy watching other people.lrt trains are also a test, to show wether you're a corteous citizen, or you're just fucking selfish for your own good.not just that, it also menguji your endurance skills and keterer-an berdiri berjam-jam.and it also provides a lot of entertainment, especially for those who likes to watch orang, *there was this gila guy on the train, scary giler*

jadi, one day i spent most of my day cultivating this new-found hobby of mine!from terminal to kelana jaya(where keron picked me up and we went to ou), then from kj to wangsa maju (where ayam picked me up to go and celebrate our second anny!:) ), and then, from terminal to klcc (where we went to nandos and watched the fountains at the park), and then from klcc back to terminal (where i got into the car and almost dozed off,see!its so tirirng!this new-found hobby of mine!)

so, guys, if you want to try this new hobby, feel free to hesitate and squirm because it rips you off your cash and it makes you bloody irritated and sleepy.enjoy! ;)

pelupa

kita sudah banyak mendengar tentang kisah-kisah orang pelupa ini. mungkin kepada sesetengah orang, ia merupakan suatu keadaan serius yang perlu diampbil sepenuh perhatian dari segi perubatan dan sains, namun, untuk kebanyakkan orang awam malaysia yang normal, ia merupakan suatu peristiwa, keadaan atau kisah yang lawak.

*dubbing english plak*
the other i was at mid-valley when i ran out of credit. stopped by at a nearby digi center and bought myself a $10 top up card. i keyed in the serial code only to recieve a message stating the code i punched in was invalid. wild thoughts running through my head but the causal thing i had in my mind was, digi ripped me off my cash and i was cheated cleverly.i was halfway back to the shop that sold the useless top up and suddenly remembered that i was using hotlink.

a friend of mine wanted to redeem a free drink from Coffee Bean, using those cards they gave out, you know, the ones where you have to get it all stamped up and shit. so, he was practically salivating over the thought of drinking an ice blended when suddenly the coffee bean lady said, "ni kene pegi starbucks dik, baru boleh redeem".

aiyoh..what is wrong with our youths now?are we suffering from an early stage of senile-ation?*is there such word?*

pengajaran:jangan makan maggie banyak banyak

I wonder

i can sort of see a pattern in the boys i choose to have affiliations with. first...their names will start with an A.

hmm..
Arif
Aisa
Iqbal (die lain sikit)
Azrul (doreng)
izat Arif
Arif
*Amirul
*Afnan
Faize @ AYAM

*the ones i never had the chance to have an OFFICIAL relationship with

im not saying guys with their names that start with an A are much more appealing to me.i dont even know why i keep on ending up with these people.takde lah hebat mane pun.haha

and i even notice something..
i like to eat naan and ayam tandoori

=afNAN and AYAM tandoori...
haha talk about the irony of the situation..

manual cars are fuckers

manual cars are fuckers

that was what i discovered when i my boyfriend`s car died after i drove it past the bump in campus. the car behind me honked like mad..and i was sweating like hell because i was wearing linen, and it was 3pm, and when its 3 pm in gombak..oohh man,u`d wish u were born in switzerland and stayed there for the rest of your life.

i was trying to get it over and done with, my saman, i got two!!from the mahallah, and the traffic.the latter refers to the incident when i got in half an hour late..(which got me more pissed when cipon told me that she got in at 1 am without any hitch from the fucking guards)..and the former is because...aiyer..so malas want to write it down...because of nina's radio.

so..anyway,managed to convince faize, to lend me his car..which he was pretty reluctant at first..but..yeah..hahaha..

boy..i wished i never would have asked him for the car.

later that evening he textd asking me to pick him up..which i replied..no freaking way am i ever going to drive manual cars AH-GAIN.*i think in order to be a great bf, you`ll need abundance of patience*

so he had to ask his friend to send him over to my college..when he reached the entrance, he told me to drive it to the front.

2minutes later-
i got into the car..and pushed the key to start..but it wont frekig start!!shit...faize is soooo going to kill me

5minutes later-
an annoyed faize in an orange shirt riding the motorcycle with syah reached the car(apparently they had to slow-talk with the gurads to let them in) d car had surprisingly come to life.

i hate MANUAL CARS!!!!!!!!!!!1

what happened between us was confusing enough before we can even have a beginning. the turmoil of emotinons im going through now is quite overwhelming, that i dont even know what im thinking, feeling right now.

you stood by the sidelines,waiting, even after everyhting that has happened.regardless of my shouts, screams, cries.i treated you like dirt sometimes...did u realize that??GOD!wake up!

but i dont want you to leave.i dont want you wrap everyhting up, and said.."okay, if its going to continue being like this..i guess this is my cue to leave". i want you to stay.knowing i have someone waiting at the sidelines.why cant it be like that?why cant you just stay that way?complacent being the person who will always have my back..but not much to expect from me?

god..i sound so evil.no...its not fair for you.its not fair for you to watch from the sidelines while i try my best to fraternize with another person who clearly has no emotional attachment on me..im stupid.when it comes to this..im stupid..im sorry.

will you just stop giving me goosebumps?will you just stop giving me all this emotions that keep on rushing in and out of my system like waterfall..you are not THE ONE..but..i..yeah..well..lets just leave it at that eh?

a new beginning

hahahaha...(laughing robustly)

i got myself a new phone two days back..dragged sarah,faize and syah to come along to pertama complex to help me `bargain` for the right one..

you shouldve seen the place!JAYZUS!!!booths loaded with phone everywhere...and its freaking CHEAP!but anyway...after got basuh with my dad about y carelessness...he gave me 300 and told me to main jauh-jauh..

jauh jugak aku pegi ni...browsing until the group got tired and decided to have a drink at the gerai outside..while i was too busy dealing with my phone dilemmas to even finish up my milo...(which was later given to syah)

in the end....TADA~a new (second-hand) flip phone...and my new number??hehehe...i`ll tell you people later...

yay!!!got myself a new phone!!!!woohoo!!!

i LOST my PHONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!ARRRRRRRGGGGGGHHHH!!!!!!

*syaza is too distraught to blog..will be back with updates LATER*

series

morning till 8p.m

-finished autocad at 6.areque sent me a msg saying that madam has already collected the layouts an hour ago.and i havent even PRINT it yet..
-ei leen wants to meet up for islamic urbanism assignment
-keron called to say she wants to drop by*YIPPIE YA YAY!*
-and she wants to meet afnan....*SHIT*
-realized i havent mandi the whole day*though i dont stink at all*
-had to print at advanco which costs a BOMB,because we finished our layout lambat...so..no other shops are open

8.30 pm

-radhi is stressed because her layout is still having problems.yelled several curse words that makes me and nina afraid to approach her..or come close within her vicinity
-had to tinggalkan radhi.sori radhi.
-realized we`re supposed to meet ei leen now..*oh shit oh shit oh shit*
-afnan sent a msg saying he`s at home*bodo*

9 pm
-"oh, lets get it over and done with..", then realized half of my studiomates were crammed in the small plotting room of advanco..
-msged ei leen telling her we`re going to be late..only to recieve a not-so-nice msg..*damn*
-made a date with sue and kuku to have dinner at kubur

10pm
-keron called to tell me she`s there
-im still in the waiting line
-the printing computer is hanged*is that correct?*
-kak pah`s layout problem
-ei leen is pissed and went back to mahallah
-keron is pissed because she`s waited for half and hour

11pm
-had a small fight with keron, but she picked me up anyway
-had dinner, the only solid meal i had for the whole day

12pm
-went back, got fined instead.because i got in at 12.30.fuck you uia guards.biased bastards
-i think ive scared afnan off with my horrible mood
-keron got lost on her way out of my campus..and i think she`s pissed at me..

so,thats the overall series of unfortunate events that happened yesterday nite.now..im going to die as a zombie which ive transformed into because of the uncivilized load of work my course hads plunged me into.

ole~

ole~

haha!!!qsb mid-term is OWH-VERH!!!now....back to autocad

BLEKH!!!!~

YUCK..YUCK..

im hoping that when i get this over and done with i can have a blissful life where i wouldnt have to see the word autocad/or autodesk/ or anything that has anything that has the word auto..and then someone add that with cad,or cat(that somehow has the same pronounciation) or desk.

my WORK is my LOVERH~ *im sooo pathetic..this is sad*

oh god...the humiliation

i sent a message to you.i told you how i felt.i was shaking when i wanted to press the "send" button. nina finally did it for me. i couldnt sleep well.i hate you

the next morning you told me your heart skipped a beat when i told you.and then you told me you like me too. but in a way that made me doubt your answer if it is genuine or the other way around.

i want to wallow myself into any gaung i`ll find by the highway..and stay there untill its the year 2020.

i dont want to see you anymore. i dont want to msg you.i dont want to have anything to do with you anymore..

im so emotional...

as i watched you speak, you showed a glint of hurt from the past.i observed your beautiful feature, and your beautiful self, i wondered how can a person misjudged this person who was sitting in front of me as someone cold, when all about him is wonderful?

i stopped the growing itch to yell out my feelings.what i have bottled up inside since the first day i saw you.the first time i was fascinated by how easy it was to be around you.how comfortable i felt when i watched you drive me home.how right everything seemed to be when it comes to you.

but you dont see that dont you?you dont seem to realize that everytime i see you my heart beats a hundred times faster than usual.you dont see me, as the person who is waiting here, in front of you, waiting for you.waiting for you to finally open your eyes and see that i am right here along. waiting for you.

of course not.why would you see that?i am just another friend you acquired.a friend..yup..we`re just friends...perfect..well..i stopped myself from telling you how i feel, because i wouldnt want to lose you, period.i wish you well afnan.i envy the girl who broke your heart.you love her enough to make her actions scar your feelings.i envy her, for having you.for still having your feelings for her.another loser anthem is bursting out of me.

"ive been watching your world from afar
ive been trying to be where you are
and ive been secretly falling apart
to me, you`re strange and you`re beautiful
you`d be so perfect with me but you just cant see
you turn every head but you dont see me"- aqualung, i`ll put a spell on you

p/s: guys, correct me if im wrong yah?the lyrics i mean...and its not an uncool song..its just that its a song from a loser`s perspective lah...like me.. :'(

hmm..you again

hmm...you again...

i wonder why i even picked up the phone...oh wait...yes...because you see...i DELETED your number so i could refrain myself from calling, or messaging you....but hey!haha..you found me..AGAIN.

i cant go on another period of my life hating myself. ive already hated myself enough...i dont another extra baggage to make me feel like a SLUT.

i cant make myself to tell you to go away because i was relieved you called.i know what a BLOODY BUGGERING PATHETIC loser i am, but that was what i felt.i was relieved you actually cared enough to call me. asking me for a another chance...haha..things are already complicated as it is..dont make it anymore worse than this.i thought about you often nowadays..i dont even know why.

you made me cry...bloody hell...i didnt even cry when my dad slapped me..FUCK YOU.stop the bullshit apologies.you`re just feeling guilty because a gullible loser is crying over you.you do have a magical touch with words eh?im not buying it anymore.thanks..but no thanks..go try it on someone else..and wreak havoc in their lives.

i dnt know if i can stand this long enough..DONT YOU GET IT???im taking the exit here...BYE?see you later?umm...i dont think so...

work it baby

workloads are like a blackhole..sort of..it sucks out all the joy in the world.oh.my.god.

thank god the grad dinner is OVER...i could at least rest in peace for a while..for a while....hehe...anyway...now...ive got my head cramped with workloads that is making me wish i have a time machine so that i can travel to the future during my semester break and have endless time of sleep..

my laptop is being a bitch again,forcing me to come all the way to kaed to do my autocad.shit.anyway...enough of my rantings..the conclusion is...uni life is not as cool as i thought it is.. ~BLEKH!!!~ :P