damn you

when u lack of certain things that is important in life, you start to question where did you go wrong.what did u do to make god this angry to punish you. you start to compare yourself to the others around you and 'realized' that.."yeah, there is something wrong with my life"..and you start to weep and get mad at god..or maybe anybody that you think might be the cause of your state.

but then you pretended to be okay with it for a while. you keep it cool..for..lets say..2 weeks?maybe more..i dont know..wallowing everything in.to you its 'ACCEPTANCE' you have to make in life.and suddenly one small fracture, and you snap like a hot fuse. the whole room turned upside down because you needed someways to vent out your anger, the whole room filled with noises of your locker being kicked, stuffs thrown out.the whole ordeal was horrible.and when you got tired of being physically angry, you crouched down and cry,until you drifted to sleep.

you wake up, and go on the same routine again.you keep everything inside.you think no one would give a shit that you`re eating yourself up inside.you start to hate the ones around you because they seemed so happy and have absolutely no worries in life.hell!you even hate their laughs.

one day,you wake up.and saw the sunshine.you actually looked at your tackboard,and saw the photos of your loved ones.how could you go on living, and hating them when all they did was to love you?despite your appalling attitude,your horrible self,they still accept and love you the way you are.they still welcome you with open arms and a big smile.and they still try to be what you want them to be, to provide what you greedily want.and you cursed yourself because you didnt see THAT before.damn you for being what you were to them.and now, you just breathe and enjoy the life they have offered.