please

yesterday nite rose called me up for a drink.the two of us head to the usual mapley and got into this conversation on why there was only the two of us there.its weird how during schooltime you're surrounded by this big group of friends.

now..you`re in uni, and its weird with the little number of friends you`re left with.there was even this period of time where my hang-out group in bangi consists of people from other schools and none from my school.

i dont know why the lack of communication..or the lack of effort.the only time i see my classmates is when ika has her annual open house, she`ll never fail to invite me.the rest?i only see them..when i see them..the other day intan called me up inviting me to hang with them (a group of classmates) at alamanda.but i was already on the way to kelana jaya.maybe its my fault too.maybe im the one not making any effort.i dont know why.

maybe its the ego..me trying to better myself and potray this image of a cooler version of syaza..all cleaned up with new specs and "cool" style.last raye, at ika`s open house, they gushed over how much ive changed, how different i look.."wow, you`re very pretty now!i like your new specs!i loove your tudung!".."oh my god..izat and naim wouldve kicked themselves now if they see how much youve changed"..right..maybe that was what i wanted to hear.im not the same syaza anymore.

maybe my memories in school(bangi) wasnt all sugar and spice.i mean...most of it wasnt.maybe that was why i was so reluctant to keep in touch with them..yep.im full of maybes because i dont even know if what im writing down is true..all of it is hypothetical.but, tally ho and all, im glad i still have a small group of friends i can hold on too.anne is coming back in june, nini and rose?god i see them almost every weekend night.intan?havent had the chance to meet up after the tahlil..but i will see what i can do..kame?she`s beyond reach already..i havent seen her since last june.

as a conclusion?maybe im choosy of the my choice of friends.maybe im the one who determines which friends i want to keep in touch with.yep..maybe.but i know im never wrong with my choices..so..there goes..