SACRIFICE EH?

when i first got the offer to work in Johor, have to say i was a bit apprehensive. it would be the first time being away from my family, and also the second time ill actually embark on a long-distance relationship.

looking back, it's been almost a year, and we're still going on strong. there was never a moment of doubt, even when we're 300 km apart. it made the relationship even more special, knowing that you go the extra length to see one another when u have the chance. :) makes you appreciate one another even more.

i mean, johor is not so bad, yeah, it doesnt have any krispy kreme nearby, or subway (sebenarnye bukan aku makan sangat pun, saje mengade ntah ape-ape) or chilli's (lagi la malas nak makan, i can actually count the times i've ever eaten there when im in KL). BUT, its the place i choose to work, doing something i've always dreamed about.

something that i wont go regretting the next 5 years down the road only wondering what-ifs, because i took the chance and not afraid of doing it all the way. come 2 years. and the experience is priceless. :)

it made all the cravings of glazed doughnuts worthwhile :)

weekend was great

if i knew kg baru was so annoyingly congested, i wouldnt have gone there with my car. but somehow after seeing most of my classmates who i havent met in a long time made it all worth the cursing and cilok-cilok in kg baru. but the food was *YUCK*

the night ended with a relaxed coffee and chocolate drinking session at Coffee Bean in Pavillion with Nina Tee and Faliq, as i melantak the long-awaited Krispy Kreme *yg dah lame aku asyik tweet about*.

the earlier part of the day saw me strolling through Pavillion (lagi!) with Khairun as we gossiped on the latest dits of our lives.

somehow these sort of things always makes me feel normal. like i havent even left KL. :)

beza singapore dgn sini

My parents are here. they're currently staying at Kozi Hotel which is in Danga Bay. the hotel is nice, for a budget hotel. its clean, and it has a flat screen tv with some astro channels, plus singapore channels. as ayah was surfing the channels, he came across singapore channel, in which mr lee hsien long (i think i got the correct name for singapore's PM) was briefing to singaporeans about their plans to upgrade the public transit system. the way he explained in such details, showing his utmost understanding on the new plans shamed myself when i reflect upon Malaysia's own leaders. we would never have this here. a PM briefing to mass malaysians how the upgrading will work, how it benefits the public, where it will be upgraded, etc; with such details and interest, showing that he himself is involved in this overall plan; not just being shoved with a script and bagi ucapan kat semua orang, with just a general idea of wht will happen, not as thorough as this.

it made it seem like the singaporean leader were as approachable as your next-door neighbour. so this what a real civil servant is like, you work for the people. not the other way around. i mean, we paid your salary and all that bling blings you have, did we not?

THISTLE IS THE BOMB

Had an awesome buka puasa at Thistle Hotel, sponsored by an engineer.

oh man. its the bomb. the wide selection of food is enough to make you go crazy :D they even have chocolate fondue! i ate about 5 sticks of marshmallows dipped in choc :B hahahaha talk about being greedy. dont even let me begin on their wide arrays of main dish. i didnt even touch nasi because i knew i'd be so stuffed i wont be able to eat anything else later. so; guys, listen hard, if you go to all these really cool buffets, stay away from rice. you're just going to be full without having the chance to eat anything else later. lets see, i ate lamb sirloin, beef sirloin, fish, BANYAK LA. malas nak cerita panjang.

no picture as i was too busy eating. but we did camwhored in the toilet before we entered the buffet area (ima and i).

task list

australian visa - check, waiting for ayah to pick it up for me
ticket balik friday ni- notchet. today baru nak pi beli
deposit hotel room ayah for this sunday-notchet, malam ni jugak otw balik from larkin
ticket to melborune-check
duit nak spend kat sana-AHAHA. dont ask
baju raya for adik-notchet. gaji esok baru dapat.
Buat account maybank-notchet. gaji esok baru dapat.

apa daaa..banyak giler uncheck dari check.

I DIDNT TELL FALIQ I BOUGHT THE KING-FU SHOES BECAUSE I KNOW HE'D BE PISSED. HAHA

as you could guess from my tweets, my car battery died. aiyeh. so ma-fan la. now had to rely on bobo for transport. and for him to masukkan bateri baru tomorrow :( tiba-tiba tak best takde kete.

went back during the weekend to spend buka time with the family. :) and after faliq finished work at about 8, he picked me up (along with his trusty sidekicks hirzi and sidiq) so i could go to Jalan TAR for my tudung shopping session. HOOOHOOO and with this, comes 3 fashion advisors yg sampai nak argue gile2 suh aku pilih tudung yg mane satu, chill la guys. HAHAHA.

THE SUPER MANJA KIDDIES. tak leh blah, asal orang duduk je datang kat kite lepas tu terus tido. rase nak gulung2 jadi furball and baling sebab comel and mengada-ngada

the kung-fu shoes ive been dying to have for so long, siap nak tanye mamat dalam lrt mane die beli when i saw him wearing it. its SUPER COMFY.

mini ritters sport joe bought for me at Oman's airport. SEDAP. within seconds sume orang kebas. CES. ayah got the best one, PRALINE flavoured.

had to decline jaja's invitation to join her for buka. NEXT TIME tau ja. ni aku nak balik ni lagi sekali ni. banyak plak plans :P

saya hanyalah manusia normal

finding it the hard way that you're only a normal person with no SPECIAL ABILITIES OR TALENTS THAT MAKE PEOPLE GO HOO HAA over you.

Went to johor's famous night bazaar or fondly known as Pasar Segget; because my mum wants me to buy for her a pair of crocs knock-offs. AND SAMBIL MENYELAM MINUM AIR LA BRADER. i bought three new scarves.

now im wearing one of the new scarves. i liked it because it has printed stars HEHEHEHE (Forgive my childishness. it tends to creep out each time Ramadhan is here)

cant for today's office hours to end. going back to KL with joe XD

designer jacket

yesterday had an awesome buka puasa session at Pulai Springs Resort, this really nice golf-course cum hotel Place where benalec, a construction company doing a project in Puteri Harbour belanja the whole PH staffs for buka puasa.

i wore the turquoise blazer faliq's mum gave me. it drew much criticisms and comments from everyone, i guess due to its OTT look, but frankly, i quite like it. even if it's OTT. i mean, its a designer's item for crying out loud, so please expect something original and outrageous. and gorgeous :D

this is for sue, since i was telling her about this via ym.

the front elevation

belakang elevation

i just love the batik motifs. though the ribbons tend to get in the way while i was trying to scoop my meal, and eat in peace :P please excuse the picture yang tak berape sharp, ye lah, camera phone i 2.0 megapixel jeah.

the gorgeous pool that welcomed us hungry people

FOOD GALORE

bob, johor ni kalau bosan time puasa buat ape

ntah la. kami pegi bazaar ramadhan je kat sini.

and i can tell you, they are the shiz in conducting all these bazaar ramadahan okaayyyy...

banyak gile makanan. yg malangnya i havent even heard of. please excuse my KL-upbringing ignorance.

just the other day my housemate made bubur centil. a desert dish that comprises of flour balls dunked in a cream made of gula melaka and santan. YUMMY.

i will take photos just to tell you how crazy they are of these bazaars. its actually quite cool, nampak macam semangat berpuasa. unlike the dismal subang jaya bazaar khairun and i used to throng when we were teenagers.

solat terawih niat kene betul

I cant believe how fast time flew by. and next week is payday. YAY! and my parents are coming to johor. DOUBLE YAY!

last saturday my housemates and i went for our terawih at the main mosque of johor, Masjid Sultan Abu Bakar, a splendid mosque of moorish architectural elements built in the 1900s is enough to make me giddy. while i was busy observing the architecture (walaupun gelap tapi nampak cantik okayyy), my housemates were busy cuci-mata (as faliq puts it, niat nak pegi terawih ni nak usha orang ke pegi terawih) HAHA

selepas 8 rakaat, i thot we were about to pack up and leave when all the three housemates were still in the saf, "kite buat 8 je kan?" i asked. "kite buat sampai habis-lah", replied kak ikin, the eldest amongst us four.

23 rakaat! nak tergoyang kaki buat, cobaannnnn...kuat kan iman sikit, dah rakaat ke-18, khusyuk ke tak, aku pun tak tau. tapi it was quite an experience. the first time for me to go all the way. *pats back

p/s: semayang sampai dah tak kira berape rakaat dah.

exhausted

i find that keeping up with the world exhausts me, keeping up with people is even more exhausting.

 looks like you're screwed mate. my heart whispered viciously. fuck. i think i made the wrong turn. as i was about to turn around, the road seemed to change, and now each end is a fucking cul-de-sac.

depressing thoughts are better expressed than let it lay still in the corner of one's mind.

sometimes i feel like screaming out to the atrocity of all these false pretense. but im too weak. yep.thats the problem. im too weak to even stand up for myself and tell you what a bitch you've been. life. i hate you.

bitter pill to swallow

puasa has somehow made me a little bit melancholic these days. yesterday i had to stay at the office till 8.30 pm; toiling on my paperwork, and wondering if this is all worth it.

i came across an internet article saying one of the things you'd regret as you grow older is not spending enough time with your parents. i wish life is as simple as packing up your bags and just go home. back to the arms of your parents, the only people who loves you despite your ugliness. but reality is as bitter as a panadol unswallowed, stuck at the edge of your tongue, the bitterness seeping into your tastebud as you tried to swallow it; even when you managed to, the bitterness stayed on.

its been half a year already, and i think im growing bonkers each day, loneliness starting to kill each brain cells i have left; and the bitter reality that im a grown person now, if i fucked up my job, my ayah wont be here to talk to the boss explaining to them why i misbehaved and then i'd start over again. if i fucked it up, im fucked up for good.

last night as i drove back from the office, the need to escape whatever johor represents was burning through and the only way i could think of was going to a MCD joint, getting some sundae, smelling the familiar scent of fried chicken that is similar to the joint back home. but it hit me how alone i am here, and it scared me. having no friends, nor family, especially during ramadhan could somehow break your spirit.

whenever i woke up for sahur, eating alone, id think about the times i'd have it with my parents. how i'd sleep on the couch till sahur and woke to the sound of my mum working her magic in the kitchen. how i never had to sahur alone.

growing up is a scary thing. all these while when i was a teenager, ive always dreamed about working somewhere far, making it big, having her own car; now i dont think i want that anymore, maybe a dosage of all the pretentious smiles and concerns are more than enough to make me sick. all i want is to wake me being a teenager again, in the safe arms of my parents.

SPEED LIMIT TAK LANGGAR PUN

was driving back to jb when a pick up truck honked at me, and a makcik waving vigorously. at first i thot it was some random makcik, but turned out it was really my makcik. hahaha, it was auntie ana.

she sent me a message to ask me to meet up at the ayer keroh rnr. so i did. along with en bad who was hitching a ride with me back to jb.

suddenly i received a text message from ayah. it read:

"Auntie said she saw you on the highway, and you were driving fast. please adhere to the speed limit and drive carefully".

aiyoh. ayah, i drove within speed limit la. auntie drove faster than me, she arrived berape puluh minit before me kot kat ayer keroh tu.

"why are you replying my sms? you are supposed to keep your eyes on the road, no phone while driving!"

APAKAHHHH.. sape yg bagi sms dulu in the first place... :I

ESOK PUASA!

tomorrow is puasa, and johor, is declaring a public holiday on the first day of the fasting month. ive got tons of work to do, and im not even sure what time i can get out of the office. EKK!!

but one thing for sure, tomorrow, im going to tido like nobody's business. MIAHAHAHA

Selamat berpuasa people!

ulat gonggok besar punya

friday, 6 haribulan ogos 2010, pukul 6, ima berkata, "eh, u taknak balik ke, nanti tak dapat naik bas awal". semasa itu (ok, cut the crap, i cant write in bm).

that was when we were at Ledang Heights Clubhouse, attending the UEM Land Birthday Bash (ULB ni baik betul, birthday buat party makan2, almost every month mesti ade aktiviti makan2).

so off we went to Larkin; with the harapan akan naik bas pukul 7. CIS. sangkaan aku meleset sama sekali. SEMUA TIKET SOLD OUT. ape kejadahnye sold outttttt

rupe-rupenye isnin berikut adalah hari kebangsaan singapura, tu yang depa dok bolot suma tiket tuh. tgh dok panic *ish ni mesti tak dapat balik, mampos la. ibu, ayah and faliq mesti angin satu badan* rasa nak nangis pun ade gak.

tibe2 ade la satu makeshift counter ni dok tepekik telolong jual tiket pegi KL. aku pun sepantas kilat pegi kat kaunter tu. "8.30 punye bas eh dik, RM 60". terbeliak mata kejap. double the price WEH. apesal mahal? "sume tempat sold out, sini je ade". Beggars cant be choosers can we? grudgingly i paid the RM 60 ticket and couldnt help feeling pissed off because i just got ripped off by a guy who doesnt even seem to shower for a week.

8.30 inching near, and no bus was found, FUCK. but the guy is still there, i kept a lookout for the JPJ guy who kept patrolling in case the ticket guy cabut. "ada-ada, name bus tu super" he told some angry customers who have had enough waiting. 8.45 he called out to all his "satisfied" customers, tuka tiket. tgk tgk bagi aku tiket transnasional. FUCKKKKKK. ade plak mamat ni kate, "eh, ni 31.20! apesal ko charge double!", lagi mau tanya. sah sah la kene tipu kan.

pukul 9.30 plak tu bas die. memang aku rase nak carut je tadi. tapi fuck je yg mampu aku ucapkan.

last-last sampai rumah pukul berape pagi tah. dalam bas sume compare berape ringgit depa beli tiket masing-masing. ade yang bangga beli tiket for 45 bux, walhal ade yg kene tipu sampai 65 bux.

to the ulat-ulat. eh, tak malu ke, dah la tipu orang, burukkan nama melayu plak tu. asyik nak buat easy money je. tak guna betul.

weekend summary

kenape m.night shyamalan ni tak reti nak buat movie elok sikit. the last airbender was such a fucking bore that faliq and i slept throughout the movie.

ok, disregarding the fact that we were both still in our matching purple baju kurung n baju melayu, and it was 1.00 am.

rewind balik, pegi reception ida yang ke-2; lepak at the curve with sarah and nina, and later to the BBQ gathering which witnessed my family's boisterous nature, thank god faliq seemed to enjoy himseld listening to retirees planning holiday trips to johor, melaka and mane2 la yang depa rasa nak pegi, orang tak keje dah la katakan.

and now,i have kiki back with me. :)

signs that you're losing your marbles?

last night with the hope of reducing the growing size of the laundry mound in the room; i decided to do my laundry.

this morning, as i was about to dry them outside, a small plastic object dropped out of the pocket of the shirt i wore yesterday.

It was my thumbdrive.FUCKKKKKK.. it spent the entire night in the water with laundry detergent??

I seriously have problems with keeping my memory in check. wtf is wrong with me.

MORE BLOGS OF MUSLIMAH FASHION

I like looking at blogs featuring muslimah fashion. before this i was obsessed with caribmuslimah.wordpress.com , now im haunting stylishmuslimah.blogspot.com  and hijabscarf.blogspot.com.

im always in awe of individuals with authentic style in fashion, that they're able to pull off almost anything, like for instance a jumper suit, and yet look chic without looking like some mechanic.

i dont know if  i will ever be able to emulate their style because, well, ive yet to garner that eye for fashion just yet. :P i really prefer to be just in my jeans, flats, and cardigan.

i need clothes. or maybe a fashion advisor. i think i need help. :D

the boy

the boy asked for a request he longed dreamed about.

the receipient of the question turned him down yet again.

let's not dwell on the past shall we?

moving on would've been so much easier if you weren't so damn beautiful.

all these while as my dreams have been filled with images of you. i find that in reality, you are nothing but a scheming asshole.

semester crush

semester crush said hello.

its been awhile. i noted.

the person who once made my heart throbbed.

whom i waited patiently to be online on yahoo messenger each night in the cold cyber cafe of the female dorm during his one month hiatus in the UK.

the one whom i have had dreams of going away with. whom i thot was perfect just because you made me laugh more than i have ever had with rahime within a span of a few days of semester breaks.

im sorry i put you up on a pedestal. who you really are, will never be as perfect as whom i envisoned you to be.

golden opportunities

the other day my mum bought me a mug from the "Generating Opportunities for Learning Disabled" also known as GOLD, from this bazaar they held at Seremban.

this is for your office, a pink mug with blue cats and flowers.

its quite a nice mug when u think about it. reflects how learning disabled students are actually able to be trained skills that can help them fend for themselves instead of having to resort to begging or forcing you to buy a RM 2 tissue whenever you're having a cup of teh tarik at the mamak place.

my parents are thinking of moving back to subang, or pj more like, in order for my sisters to gain a place in the GOLD society/club, when they finished their school. WHY? because putrajaya is filled with incompetent losers who are unable to think beyond their own personal gains to create a better life for their learning disabled child. and having a useless, idiotic headmistress who drove a merc but cannot even fathom how it feels like to have a learning disabled child in her family, doesnt help either.

so what the hell do you expect my sisters to do when my parents are no longer able to care for them, or if i get hit by the car and die? fuck you selfish people. my sisters are not able to fend for themselves thanks to you useless idiots who wont even provide them a space to bake, do gardening, or art lessons. FUCK YOU USELESS GOVT SERVANTS IN PUTRAJAYA PRECINT ##

is it just me, or being too confined within a singular race really do mess up your brain?

anyways. im happy that my sisters will be able to have a better chance in learning once they finish schooling. here's to GOLD and all that it's done for learning disabled students.

nice kan the mug?

p/s:amik ko, aku dah kutuk ko dalam project paper aku kaw-kaw. padan muka.dapat A- plak tu. memang sah sah ko bahlol.

kiddies

amoi's kiddies, from 6, are down to one. all, have sadly passed away. :(

while the 3 rascals have grown fatter, and more exuberant. sampai tak terlayan lah. :D

wonder how they'll turn out to be when they're grown up.