Wedding Bells

With the wedding date set tentatively end of next year; my head is already buzzing with lists of things to do/plan/reserve/make/you name it. 

thankfully one of my best friends, Sabrina, is getting married next year too, only her wedding is earlier than mine. which will be in May; so i have someone to refer to when it comes to quotations and prices. :) who knew hiring a photographer and videographer will cost a bomb? 6 grand to be exact (T.T)

wedding is indeed an EXPENSIVE ONCE IN A LIFETIME ONE DAY ONLY EVENT! i certainly dont know where ill scour the money for it; but the show must go on! insya allah di mana ada kemahuan di situ ada jalan. :)

its okay. i still have a year to plan the whole thing. will definitely rant more about wedding planning stuff in the coming months. WAIT FOR ITTTTT

What doesn't kill you, makes you stronger

i used to be angry with God. For taking away the idyllic life i once had; growing up in a stable suburban home, surrounded by friends and our external family members were close by. hardship was unheard of, there was always food on the table, the house was a beautiful home one couldnt be ashamed of if he/she has to entertain guests, buying clothes almost every weekend. sigh. 

but when things turned out for the worse, ayah's business failed, we had to sell the house(s), and live in a rented terrace house (until now) with deteriorating condition; things actually turned out for the best.

i really did come a long way from being a selfish, ignorant teenager into someone i can safely say, a better, calmer,mature and more understanding. i began to see the other side of what it takes to be family. Not by spending your weekends at a mall or at a fancy restaurant, but by being there for each other even when times are tough. supporting your family even if  it means you do away the lifestyle you once had. despite not having as much as we used to have, my parents still managed to put me through university, and i graduated with second class honours, found a stable job with one of the prominent developers in malaysia, and now engaged to be married. 

there was no room for me to go astray and wasted; as i had both parents firmly behind me throughout the journey of my life from college to university and into the career world. there was no chance for me to swallow in my depression of not being able to afford the life i once had, because my parents were always there to remind me that " the best is yet to come, keep having faith in Allah, for this is a test for all of us to become a better person". no truer words can describe what im going through now.

it is a blessing in disguise. and i cant thank Allah enough for this.

One Step Closer to The Edge!

Who would've thought a simple majlis that only lasts for 3 hours takes weeks of preparation? I certainly was not prepared for it..

When Faliq and I decided to get engaged in November, what we had in mind was a simple do just amongst close family and maybe a few close friends. Apparently my family has something else in mind; given the fact that our family is a large one (we HAVE to invite EVERYONE kalau tak Ada yang terasa) and I guess my mother was pretty excited since I'll be the only one to get married:')

There were a lot of obstacles, I shall call it; while preparing for the event;as the event draws near,more things cropped up. The most memorable one was when one of my uncle decided to provide me with a backdrop but gave me a plain and bare panel, and I had to get some friends over during midnight to beautify it..and we managed to do it within such a short notice!

Alhamdulillah everything went well. These are the times when you're grateful to be blessed with a wonderful family and friends who were willing to help make the event a great one. My parents were constantly busy organizing the whole thing,my aunt cooked everything from midnight until the wee hours of the morning,my best friend searched for fresh flowers to decorate the tables,uncle and cousins did all the heavy work of arranging EVERYTHING..well..what can I say, I am indeed blessed. Alhamdulillah

MODERATION IS THE KEY (i think?)

It's good that now there's a rise in the numbers of girls wanting to look good. Especially hijabis; with more access to stylish hijabs and hijab-friendly clothes, it's not hard anymore to look good with a great outfit while rocking the hijab. and it's a bit comforting to see girls becoming more aware of fashion trends that actually works and looks good.

However i noticed that some tend to display or showcase excessive spending in the name of looking good. Okay, correct me if I'm wrong, but the blogs we usually go to will feature the bloggers in countless different outfits lugging different designer handbags in each different photos. And not helping are the magazines that actually promotes similar lifestyle, e.g. Hijabista, Dara, etc. For me, as a middle-income earner or maybe low middle-income earner; i can only dream of having a wonderful wardrobe with a willing bank account but i cannot freaking afford it!

so what do i do? with only TWO handbags (not 5, 10 or 12), which i use "silih-ganti", i try the best that i can to create different outfits and styles with the limited amount of clothes i have in my closet. and let me tell you this, it can be really depressing to try to come up with different outfit EVERY FREAKING TIME; and not being able to shop each time the brain shuts down from cracking for outfit ideas and yearned for new CLOTHES. 

what more with the upcoming nuptial arrangements next year, i really....NEED TO SAVE MONEY, I.E. NO MORE MINDLESS SPENDING! so i might not be able to afford to buy new tops from H&M or the likes, but i will be damn sure i look good with the hand me downs i received from my cousin and friends. (it's a bit sad to think the new clothes i have were given by friends; BUT! NEW CLOTHES MASIH BAJU BARU OKAY!NO SPENDING!HEE HEE). so i decided to not bow down to the pressure of consumerism and to use whatever resources i have with me. ALL FOR THE GREATER GOOD!

 what is ironic is that now the islamic fashion is on the rise, it somehow goes against what islamic fashion is supposed to be. i thought moderation is the key? oh well. it's up to you how you want to see it, but for me, i'll be using my old clothes to still look good :) 

(im the one in the middle by the way, flanked by the lovely Jaja and Nina) i am wearing the MNG pants given by Kak Aya, a top i bought at JB two years ago, and a scarf i bought for RM 10 at Kelantan. :)

KUALA LUMPUR IS MY LIFE

 KL in the morning

I don't know if I'll ever grow tired of this city. Maybe I never will.

OH WOW NEW LOOK!

i know i've been AWOL for quite some time. but wow! blogger has a new look and im like a "JAKUN" trying to find my way around and suddenly posting a simple post becomes tedious.

i've grown old -_-"

there are so many life-changing experience i've gone through over the months. and now i dont even know where to begin...

well, let's start a list:

1. got myself a new job. yesserie....couldnt stand the old one, and suddenly had enough and started looking around, and VOILA! alhamdulillah.. my prayers were answered. New place is awesome :) and the best part is... I WORK SHORTER HOURS THAN THE LAST OFFICE WITH A BIGGER PAYSLIP (actually only less 30 minutes but that still counts RIGHT??)! booyah!
2. i have a new cat now :) she's almost 6 months. her name is Woolla. (yup, you got that right, stole the name from John Carter's stupid movie. because the alien dog was perhaps the only STAR of the movie, not to mention bloody cute) *will def post loads of her pictures soon, she's already flooding my instagram. and she's getting FATTER
3. My sisters were diagnosed with Scoliosis a few months back, and one of them needs to undergo a major operation to correct her crooked spine. Pray that all will turn out well. Insya allah.we are looking for ways to fund her operation so if any one of you knows how and where i can get it, do let me know.
4. I'M GETTING ENGAGED SOON!!!! - hahaha. 

that pretty sums up what's been going on in my mundane life (i still cannot get over Item 4 because i am still in a state of denial, which will definitely cost me because i need to start preparing SOON!), and i am grateful for every bit of it.

Syaza <3>

picture was taken after a photoshoot for a competition held by Tongue in Chic, we didnt make it :( but it was great fun dressing up with the girls!

Saying goodbye

marmalade. our dearest ginger boy, passed away yesterday afternoon.

earlier that day my mum called to say she had dropped him off to the vet, and he was in a very dire condition. "will he be put to sleep?", i almost choked when i asked my mum. "Heavens no!i dont think we would want that either". i sighed a heavy relief. she told me he would be warded for 3 days at the vet. i was looking forward to picking him up on Saturday, and perhaps spend the remaining days of his life at home, commuting from Bangi to KL for work, instead of staying at my rented apartment in Subang.

10 minutes later my mum texted that he has passed away. before the vet could draw some blood for a blood test, our dearest boy has died. it took me a whole 10 seconds to digest fully what the text stated before i lock myself in an empty meeting room to cry.

and cry i did. throughout the day. after work, i sat at the KLCC park, staring at the fountain works, silently weeping on the demise of my family member. i went through all the photos i had of him (which were quite a lot) in my phone. and played a video i had of him over and over again. i was glad i took the video. im glad that whenever i miss how marmalade is, i can still see how he purrs and enjoy a good scrub. that night was even worse, i couldnt stop crying, and even cried myself to sleep. the aching and emptiness still wouldnt go away after all that crying (and made my eyes so swollen it looked as if i had ping pong balls for eyes the next morning)

so here are the things i will miss about my dear boy:

1. the one who would greet me at the front gate. without fail. when i come home. he has taken into identifying the sound of my car. after i had parked at the front porch, he would climb on the bonnet, paused at the front screen as if to say "GET OUT OF THE CAR AND GIVE ME A HUG QUICK!", before proceeding to the roof so he could stick his paws out for my head when i disembark from the car.

2. the one who would never grow tired of too many hugs and cuddles. the only cat that had never grown restless when we smother him with hugs and cuddles. even enjoyed snuggling.

3. the one who would mischeaviously steal food from the dining table. and all wounded and guilt-ridden when we got pissed. but who could get pissed for long when it comes to him!

4. the one who would often come home with a dirty face (after going to one of his many adventures with his cat friends) prompting me to give him a bubble bath as he pleaded for my sympathy to spare him the bath altogether. and we were done, he would roll on the sand just to spite me.

5. the one who would always come home when we called him. who would always reply, as if he understood us.

6. the one who would always stalk me like a shadow whenever i come home, when im showering, he would wait outside the room, and race me to the living room.

7. the one that would never ever be replaced with another cat, because there will only be one marmalade. and that is you, ginger boy.

i know he is in a better place now. God loves him more. and it comforted me to know that he is not in pain anymore. i hope he knows that we all love him. and will miss him a lot.

love you. hugs and cuddles.

this is one of his favourite spot. my mum's potted plants!

the only cat that never grow restless when we're cuddling him.

p/s: thank you to my friends and cousin for the kind wishes and comforting words. i love all of you!!



Rage sekejap

Betul betul tak faham company yg tk amik berat pasal kelewatan gaji for pekerja.such as when it is festive season ke apa..apa salahnya bagi gaji awal,org nak guna duit tu buat belanja balik kg ke apa.ni tak.nak pikir dia sorg je byk duit,ada ke takde gaji tak kesah.wadehell.

My family is my life

Started the new year with a bang.spent the entire 3days holiday with the family and i have never felt better.

I realized how much i have changed over the years.before,i would be out ALL the time.even when i came back for the weekend from Johor,the only time i'd spend with the family was on sunday (the day i'd go back to johor itself) for breakfast and that was it.saturday was spent with friends and boyfriend.So if you calculate the hours i would spend with my family as compared to my friends and boyfriend is shamingly pathetic. #shamefaced to be such an abhorrent daughter that i was.

I seriously had issues with prioritizing.wondered how my parents could still "tahan" with my ineptness and me taking them for granted.but alhamdulillah,i have learned how important ur family is to you.your parents are not getting any younger,and before you know it,the time you have left to spend with them diminishes by the minutes.

I thank god for making me realize this before it's too late.even though im staying on my own now,i make it a point to call my mum everyday,and to make my weekends exclusively for them.even if the day was spent lazing on the couch watching tv;at least you're in the company of the most wonderful people on earth (your family) and the cats.hee hee

Just a quick peek what we had for our new years party,a spongebob-themed party!! Credits to my cousins aida and kak aya for the all the effort.the krabby patties and cupcakes were amazing.topped with family lepak session;we welcomed 2012 with all our hearts :)

You there!don&apos;t be stupid!

After 54 years going 55 years of independence,it is disheartening to see a majority of ppl are still ignorant of other races in malaysia. I have just read an article by HRH Sultanah of Johor on wishing our christian friends Merry Christmas (http://rowlandgomes.com/is-it-so-wrong-to-wish-merry-christmas-sultanah-of-johore-shocking-news/)

And it occurs me that malaysia is currently been hijacked by racist bigots that prefers to exaggerate on the small issues ratger than delving into bigger issues.

Yesterday my mum went to ikea and she was queuing up for the toilet with the bidet when a chinese lady asked why isnt she going into other cubicles (sans the bidet),so she replied "we muslims wash with water". And then a malay lady behind my mum enquired rather loudly "eh macamana eh DIORANG (referring to the chinese) basuh". This lady obviously has a foot in mouth disease and has clearly never mingled with other races other than her own.

to be tolerant and sensitive of other people's way of life is something we need to cultivate since young.my aunt is sandwiched by an indian and chinese neighbour for over 30 years and there has never been a time where she regrets staying there.even when everyday during maghrib,we would smell the smell of indian' scented prayer's "asap",we never did complain because respect was prevalent amongst each other.nor when the azan was being called everyday.mind you,the neighbours of multi races have been staying right smack beside tabung haji and has never had any problems with the azan or when it was hajj season.

I recalled once when my class was on a trip to penang,we were cruising down the street in little india and the guide,a nice indian lady asked if we would like to visit the Sri Maha Mariamman temple which was over 80 years old if im not mistaken.my friends and i were ecstatic over such invitation,as we would have the opportunity to learn about other race's religion.but the mood turned sour when HALF of the class decides not to go because of fear of "badi dari kuil" and other notions of stupid superstitious beliefs.their unwillingness to also even be interested in knowing other races in malaysia is also a very sad thing knowing that these are varsity students about to leave thr university as professionals.how do we expect other races to respect us when we dont even WANT to learn about their culture and way of life?

So when someone said it is blasphemous to wish other people merry christmas,i think it's a load of bulls*hit.get out of your tiny mindset and start to make friends of other races.

Alhamdulillah

I find that as i write down my thoughts on my unknown blog,i somehow felt better. I was too consumed with emotion that i failed to realize how lucky ive been.

Alhamdulillah.

Rock bottom

So it seems that my relationship has once again hit rock bottom.maybe its just me.or maybe we were never good together.

somehow i kept telling myself i should be strong enough to move on when comes a time that the relationship will come to an end,yet i still wake up in the middle of the night hoping he'd texted or called while i was asleep.

How pathetic is that?i hated myself for being so weak.i reminded myself of the our brief seperation,how he seemed so well while i had to take an emergency leave because i cried the whole day,barely eating.

I couldnt help noticing how i am always tge one who victimised my own self,feeling sorry myself and kept on blaming myself for EVERYTHING that has gobe wrong in life,especially when it concerns my lovelife.

I should have some faith.in myself,and most importantly GOD.that He has a plan for me.i may not know what the plan is,but im pretty sure it'll be rewarding for me in the end.as for now,its just a sign for me to toughen up and move on. Not to depend totally on a person who is not even my husband/family. Because theres always that IF.

Nothing in certain in life.until God tells you it is.

Untitled

Hi.im having a flu.and i didnt go to work today because my body just wouldnt allow it.at times like these when i really miss being near my parents and the idea of staying on my own seems like a cold and miserable choice.

Coupled with the fact i just have enough to barely make it till my gaji,i really am miserable.he was supposed to be here,take me to the clinic,because i just cant drive on my own right now.but he's not.and he's giving excuses the same one he always do whenever i asked for something.

I learned a lot within these few days.that the guy you think would always be there for you might not be real,and no one can replace your parents,who wouldnt think twice of dropping everything for you.

Insya allah they will be okay

My sisters are going to start their scoliosis treatment at a government hospital soon.

I pray to Allah things will work out for the better.insya allah

Bad omen?

Im not a superstitious person.i dont believe that when you dream of snakes,it means someone is going to ask for your hand in marriage.i mean,that sounds like a major bullshit.what does snake have anything to do with being married right?

So it irks me that everytime it's my dental appointment,i have to brace myself for the worse because i ALWAYS get into a whole load of problems on that day itself.

Lemme see..hit a lorry because i wouldnt give way to him (he cut my queue),and today almost hit TWO motorcycles (in seperate occasions) and the latter even had the 'decency' to mock me and swerved right infront of my car as if daring me to hit him.(which i would certainly do just to teach that asshole a lesson).

So it occurs to me that whenever i go for my dental appointment,id run into traffic mishaps.i do not want to think of it like "me going to this dentist is not a good omen" because he's just a DENTIST for crying out loud!

Maybe its a sign that tells me in order for me to get great set of teeth,gotta run into all these shitty drivers because what is beauty without pain right??

Lucky ball no.8

It's so much easier if you're able to predict your future and see who you will spebd the rest of your life with.

Uncertainty is surely a scary thing.especially when you've got too much in stake.

Getting old and lazyyyy

Ive been going back to bangi every weekend. Now that im staying in subang on my own,i somehow feel obligated to go back every weekend.even when there's nothing much to do at home except for watching the tv and being a completely gross couch potato.

Somehow it feels gratifying.even when we're not doing anything.i am completely blissful being in the company of my parents,sisters and cats.

They make my world go round i guess.and maybe because im getting old.i cant remember the last time i spend ny weekend thronging the mall.

Hmm :/

P/s:this is usually what i do.sleep like mad and have my cats as my pillow or actually its the other way around.im their pillow and they even look annoyed when i shift my body.spoilt brats

Oh wow

My boss just told me he's increasing my salary to 10%.

I went O.O

When life gives you lemons..what do you do with it?

I'd make jugs of lemonade and poison myself to death.haha.

Just had my appraisal done yesterday.although it was not excellent with a capital E,but i know it's above average.and right after,our boss (the dato') took us all out for lunch and drinks at the pavillion,where we know joked about how he's in a good mood after the appraisal and maybe after the rest of the office has done theirs,he might want to repeat the same treat :) b

I'm actually happy where i am.surprisingly.ive managed to put aside my grievances on having to work in a small company as compared to my previous companies,and take this as an opportunity to grow and improve myself.its not everyday you get a chance to work closely with the managing director of the company.and it's not everyday that you get a chance to be fully involved with what..5 projects that consists of top consultants in the country (we may be small,but the boss has no qualms on spending on good consultants).

Im not saying im disregarding my past experiences of working with giant companies,they are after all,what has shaped me to become what i am now..at work that is.

And so far,my life seems to jive with what i'm doing and where i am at the moment.after work i'd make plans to hang out with my friends,i get to take the lrt (which means no more driving in kl and get stressed out over stupid drivers) and i get to be close to the ones i love. Like for instance,taking my sisters out for movies,watching sue perform with the impatient sisters,being near my cats,etc

So it dawned on me that as soon as i managed to overlook the fact that my office might not be as swanky as UEM's or OSK's, (although the current office is just behind KLCC), i gained a lot more than i ever had before. I havent even search for other jobs for months! (which is always a good thing)

So here's to life and feeling grateful and contented with what you have :)

Below is a picture of my hangout session watching sue perform last saturday :)

kahwin punya pasal

people have been bugging me..asking when the hell am i going to get married.well..if i knew when.i wouldve told you right?i almost snap.because it is a sensitive issue.i dont want to be compelled into getting married just because im at the 'right' age.i know for sure i am not mentally and financially ready to settle down.i dont even know if im with the right guy!heck.i know faliq is amazing.but there are times where u wonder if he is ur jodoh.

sometimes i hope that god would expedite this phase so i wont get harassed by kepochi makciks who's got anything better to do than mind other people's business.but then again..they would prolly continue harassing me when im married by asking when will i get a kid.

there's no pleasing 'em old folks!but for now.i guess one of the reasons i was suddenly eager to get married was because i was envious of my cousin.she had recently got married.and she seemed genuinely happy.and i envy that.hving a new member in the family.etc.sigh.im just a messed up kid who just didnt want to lose out in the race.

but who am i kidding.i dont want to get married for the sake of getting married.i want to be sure i will find the ok giy who will be there through thick and thin no matter what.

i dont have to grow up just yet :)

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