today is not my day, definitely

Arrived in uia, at 11.30, hoping to get all this clearance shit out of my way before i collect my robe this coming saturday. ooohhhh...walking to Mahallah Asiah is a challenging task. it takes 15 minutes to walk to asiah from the bus stop opposite the engineering faculty (i didnt know how i did it back then).

how was i to know that this university is soooo GENEROUS in giving extra holidays to their "hard-working" staffs. imagine my surprise when i arrived at the office, only to be entertained by one single staff, who didnt have any authority to clear my status! APPARENTLY, the WHOLE office was on EMERGENCY LEAVE. what is this? this is not the first time this happens! imagine some students who are already working and having to take leave just to do their clearance and be faced with this RIDICULOUS situation. "adik datang la esok eh"..amboi2..senang nye nak suruh aku datang esok..esok aku dah start training la kak, kat rawang plak tu, khamis nak kene pegi johor.. sabtu aku dah kene amik robe..habis bile tahun aku nak clear sume bende ni???!!!dah dapat seminggu cuti pun tak cukup ke??oh my god.i really am speechless...


so..with the bad luck of not being able to clear my status at the mahallah, automatically i cant clear my status at security, hence, i will not be able to get my transcript as i expected. *sigh...im seriously loss for words. only god knows how i feel right now

okay sekarang, 1. UIA patut, buat clearance tu kat satu tempat je.biar senang settle sume bende
2. tak pun, kalau nak cuti pun, bagi la staff2 lain yang ade authority tu jgn cuti, at least biarkan seorang ade, macam finance tu, sentiasa ade orang boleh buat clearance, kan ke efficient tu..tak professional lansung. and thoroughly selfish.
3. clearance ni tak payah buat lansung. berape hutang, bayar je kat finance, habis cerita. tak payah nak tergedik2 pegi ke setiap tempat nak mintak signature.

kalau ade orang uia baca, please take note of my wonderful suggestions. this is definitely a constructive criticism, because you have to admit, your service sucks. so if you want to ban me for voicing out my displeasure, please admit that you are at fault too.

lantern kid

when i was a kid, i had a lantern shaped of a fish made of polythene foil. i practically had to beg my parents to buy it during the chinese lantern festival. i didnt have anyone to play with at the time, my being growing up in kj, i had little friends back home.

so there i was. running around in my small yard with my gold-fish lantern, and i was the happiest kid alive.

i wished i could be satisfied with just a lit lantern now. oh how life was so simple back then. you had little needs, and the smallest things in life makes you the happiest person on earth.

keje keje..lalalala

dah dua kali sign in kat blog, but is left with a blank head, and later signing off without posting anything.

this year's raya is a bit lukewarm as compared to last year. a lot of things happened that might leave us, family, a bit reluctant to celebrate. however, a lot of blessings from Allah have been on our doorsteps that i am every bit thankful as well.

i will be starting my GEMS (Govt. Employability Management Scheme) training soon, on the 29th to be exact, which will be on my birthday *groans. and on the 1st of october, i will be heading to johor for an interview with UEM. *wish me luck!!

hopefully by next raya, i will be able to give duit raya instead of receiving it ;)

Indah khabar dari rupa

I guess ive always had insecurity issues that can sometimes go beyond help. it wasnt just with the current boyfriend..but all of my previous bfs encountered a series of insecurity issues which was not very helpful to the relationship and to my self-confidence.

the current relationship has seen my insecurities go out of the window and slapping me in the face thousands of times. well, a lot had to do with the people around my bf who expected him to date another model-like person, only to be surprised by a selekeh dwarf-like figure by the name of NUR SYAZA!

however, past experiences has taught me that physical appearances does not count (okay, it does a bit la..) but its the heart that really matters. and if you dont love yourself, how can others?righttttt????

betul la jugak ape orang kate.cliche banyak mane pun, its actually true. ive seen my self suffer the worst case of insecurities only to see my own self being compromised and moulded into someone i was not.

jadi kawan2..just do whatever the hell that u please.kalau anda nak pakai tudung, pakai lah..walaupun orang disekeliling bilang anda lagi lawa tak pakai tudung..yang penting, anda yang nak pakai :)

dads and their rules

i came back at 1.36 am last night. and just as i expected, my dad was still downstairs watching the television, when in actual fact, he wasnt really watching the tv, he was actually waiting for me to come back home.

we've had numerous arguments about my curfew, which im guessing is quietly being moved earlier by the day. the weirdest thing was when i was in my high school, or during my uni days, he doesnt mind if i come home later than midnight. i thought it should be the other way around. as u grow older, your parents' clutches on you loosens, right?

but all in all, im actually touched that he still cares about my whereabouts. he calls when im still not home, he makes sure im safely at home before going to bed, and never fails to let me know that he is worried about me (although it can be a tad annoyng when he goes on talking about me getting robbed and raped by mat rempits).

he wont even let me stay on my own if i do get a job later in the near future (hopefully :p ) until i get married. *sigh* dads and their overprotective rules on their daughters eyh?

nak senyum kat strangers ke tak

how is it that people are able to find each other and know one another? how do they know that this stranger in front of them isnt their soulmate.

i find it amazing that some people are so friendly and at ease at talking to strangers. i have encountered several occasions where a complete stranger came up to me and strike a conversation and left such a deep impact in my life.

i cant even manage a smile at strangers. let alone talking. i saw this ad about a toothless guy who didnt want to smile to anyone. because..well..he's missing quite a few in the front..if you know what i mean..

but how would you know that random guy who spoke to you a while back is not a psychotic killer or rapists?

aiyoh..people these days are so bogged down by misconceptions and suspicions it destroys the very thread of making new friends.

maybe i should really start smiling. senyumlah..budaya tu menunjukkan bangsa kan..

how to not feel sorry for yourself..

when faced with people who has a habit of putting you down, intentionally or unintentionally, it is normal to feel a bit downtrodden, or worse, feeling sorry for yourself. i learnt a useful tip to counter this feeling, without having to buat dosa by cursing the person, or harbour any hasad dengki;

firstly, create a list of your own accomplishments, or what you like about yourself that you think others do not (of course this is easy, because you are special in your own unique way);

for e.g., this is my list of accomplishments (i just stick to 5, you can list more if you want to):

1. I managed to complete my project paper within the duration of 8 weeks only without having to extend to a full semester
2. I did a project paper based on a topic that i wanted, not because it is easier, or i can just get it over and done with..and didnt give up when faced with challenges such as when a particular lecturer refused to be my supervisor and even bumped me to another one because he hated my topic.
3. and still managed to get an A- even though intially i faced challenges of lecturers refusing to be my supervisor because of my not-so-conventional topic.
4. I managed to mantain my grades at 3.0 and above even though i failed a subject once.
5. The dean invited me to present my project paper for an upcoming Universal Design seminar that will be held this December

yes, i agree that so far, my accomplishments are purely academical, and i am confident i will achieve more once i start working. anyway, back to the topic, read the list each time you feel down, or start to feel sorry for yourself, keep a small note in your bag if it will help. and read it before you go to sleep.

trust me, you will stop feeling sorry for yourself, and will definitely have a new zeal in each of your step :)

refound faith

spending my days reading the quran and literatures on islam has somehow made me found my faith that were slowly diminishing over the years. ramadahan is indeed a special month. reflecting on my past actions and how i felt, reacted to situations thrust upon me, has made me realized how far i have gone astray in just 5 years time. the irony of this is it happened while i was a student at reknowned islamic university.

i am calmer, mature and more susceptible to change these days. i learnt that although i might be less fortunate than my peers, there are others out there who are in a much dire situation than i am in.

God is Great indeed. it (faith) was there all along. only i didnt realize it.

ni dah tahap takde keje giler dah ni

i would usually spend my nights being awake until sahur. thus, the routine of surfing through the channels while waiting for the clock to strike 4 begins. since i do not have astro (yes, i am one of 1% malaysia's population which do not have astro, thank you very much), the choices of the channels goes down to only two channels which airs 24 hours tv programme, TV1 & TV2. you must be thinking, "poor syaza, it must be hard to watch these government channels that airs complete bollocks". but u are wrong indeed (although the prospect of having astro, which has 5-7 educational channels such as discovery channel, nat.geo, travel and living, etc. u get the idea, is very tempting indeed).

it has taught me that despite ridiculous scripts, and completely horrible acting, there is substance in the dramas aired on tv2 (i usually stick to tv2 because tv1 airs terawih session in Mekah, anda pun akan berbuat begitu jika berada di tempat saya). like the "The Love Circle", it shows how friendship and acceptance is beyond race, because it doesnt matter anymore, now that we are all 1Malaysia. In "Fatimah Najwa", the lesson is, dont be a psychotic stalker, your suitor will find you creepy and annoying until he has to take a detour around the neighbourhood just to avoid you.

but i strongly recommend the drama "Paz Ah-Bahrn (After the rain, in Iranian)". yes! you guessed it right!its an Iranian drama! the casts are all talented and good looking, the plot is great, and its nice to listen to a foreign language for a change.

ayam berkokok kembali

how do you react when a friend told you that ur ex is getting married?

a. mata terbeliak and mulut ternganga
b. menangis uncontrollably because u still miss him and wish he'll come back to you, because no one can ever be good enough for him except for you (ni bapak pompous giler)
c. berkata "wow"
d. tidak terkata apa2 sambil menahan senyum fake

saya pilih c. hahaha..as much as it surprises me, im happy for him, a little stunned, because i can never imagine him getting married so soon, but happy for him. its due time anyway. :)

hey, orang tua, semoga anda berbahgia hingga ke anak cucu ;)

MERDEKA!!

In conjunction with Merdeka, I think it will only be fitting for me to write something about Merdeka. I’m quite a loyal follower of a Chinese drama, “The Love Circle”, in which one of the casts is an Indian speaking fluent Chinese, with a number of Malays playing their colleagues at the office. Although the story can go a tad haywire and a bit nonsensical, I find it refreshing to watch a drama that shows what Malaysia is all about. Different races and cultures merging to become one identity is a recipe many countries have tried to adopt, yet fail miserably. We, as Malaysians should be proud that we are all housed under one roof without your neighbour of different race trying to torch your house, or commit discriminatory acts that violates your right to have a peaceful and normal life.

Don’t just blindly promote 1 Malaysia just because the PM says so, do it because you believe in it (This goes to RTM, which suddenly goes on a blind rampage of having all programmes with lame “keharmonian bangsa” theme that was never aired before this). Race should never have become an issue, especially in a country like Malaysia. We are where we are now because of this strong unity. Let us not give in to dirty, unscrupulous political tactics adopt by wannabe politicians out to have a miniscule moment in the limelight. Let’s just be Malaysians who enjoys nasi lemak, char kuey teow and roti canai that we have always been.

p/s: shame on those who politicized religion and race for their own personal gains, have they no common sense at all?? ever heard of compromise and tolerance? look it up in the dictionary stupid

berbuka sama2

the nice thing about ramadhan is it gives you an excuse to meet old friends you havent met for the longest time to catch up again for "berbuka".

Nina, i havent seen you in awhile, and i miss you! make sure we berbuka sama2 during merdeka tau like you mentioned! we'll round up the gang (sape je pun kan, radhi and mizi) and catch up k?

Ramadhan nak dekat dah

Ramadhan is inching near..and i have yet to finish my ganti puasa.. (hari-hari kene marah oleh ibu sebab suka put it off till the very last minute)..and sangat tak sabar nak puasa because ramadhan is awesome! I'll get my dose of Jejak Rasul, bazaar ramadhan yang banyak makanan (ooohhhh...terliur nye) and last but not least, no hantu!!yay!!!

im going for an interview for the Government Employment Scheme tommorrow morning, which will see that if i do become successful, i will stand a chance to work with government - linked companies such as UEM, Khazanah, and etc.

i am beyond nervous, but it feels good to be remembered that you've sent an application and actually recieve a reply in return..hahaha..(sarcastic nak mampos)..

last sunday Faliq came to my relative's kenduri, and i was bombarded with the usual, annoying, and utterly pointless question, "Bila nak kahwin?"..aiyoh....penat la...

I saw sparks

Whenever i look at my old pictures, it makes me feel old. Looking at my once youthful, bright face leaves me feeling jaded, and somewhat regrettable of mistakes i could have undo, or mend things over. But i am every bit glad of how my life has turned out so far. I have amazing friends, friends whom you are so thankful to be able to call them the ‘f’ word in your entire mundane life. I might not have that many friends, but i know i have great handful of friends whom i could count on. Friends who don’t judge, friends who makes you feel at home, friends who do not impose their set of values upon you, but lets you know the other side of the story nonetheless, friends who is behind you 100% even when you chose a less popular choice in life. For now I am with this amazing guy, who might not be as perfect as I wanted him to be, but I know in each and every action that he makes, he loves me dearly, and so do i; I don’t regret taking that leap to find him, because to me, to gain something that is valuable, will come with some costs, and consequences. I have a family that I will forever be in love with. My parents might not be the most liberal parents there are, but they have been my biggest supporter and rock. They had assured me that I will forever be loved, even if I become a bum and decide to not work for the rest of my life. I have two great sisters, who might be learning disabled, but is never short of love. They never judge and have never made me feel so stupid that I wish others could see how beautiful they are.

not a gig-virgin anymore

I realized that it takes a whole two minutes for my laptop to fully load itself.
Okay...

I had my first experience of going to a gig last Wednesday, which was a charity gig at KLIUC. Now, from my very own understanding, please feel free to correct me if im wrong, a gig is a mini concert held in a small, enclosed area; whilst a concert is a HUGE musical performance held at a HUGE, WIDE, OPEN SPACE. So, yeah, last Wednesday was my first experience of going to a gig because the Hoobastank concert and the two Rock-The- World concerts i went to was definitely not a gig.

Anyway, back to my gig-going experience, i would say it was very much a tame, controlled and passive experience. There was no jumping, mosh-pit involvements, tolak2 with sweaty people; because, firstly, i spent the first couple of hours sitting on the floor at the back of the hall with my friends, as well as standing outside the hall as faliq and iqram had a few puffs. And the rest of the evening were spent sitting at the vip seat because we knew the PC (which was Amin who is Azreen’s boyfriend and Azreen happens to be Renee’s cousin a schoolmate of mine when i was schooling in Subang), and knew one of the performers (Syahrul from the band Love Me Butch who is a friend of Faliq and the rest of his Studio gang whose wedding in Terengganu i went to) which added to the advantage of being able to get a seat at the VIP section, away from the crowd (when all i really wanted was to be with the crowd, feeling the hype and jumping around like crazy jumping beans).

The bands who performed that night was great, especially the more popular ones like Love Me Butch and Bunkface, and Caprice (haha, who would’ve thought Caprice has a huge fan base at KLIUC?) as they really connect with the crowd. Another band worth mentioning was The Otherside Orchestra, the vocalist was a mind-blowing singer (i fell in love with her because im half-lesbian takdelah joking lawak bodoh je, and her songs instantly).
So, all in all, it was a great night, so much for fretting over what i should wear huh? When it happened to be such a mellow affair after all (haha sue, sia-sia je i poyo piker nak pakai ape,pakai slipper pun takpe sebenarnya). But i don’t think i lost to those gig-going-girls-who-oozes-the-i’ve-been-to-gigs-millions-of-times-aura because i think they just look plain ridiculous. i mean come on, who goes to gigs wearing a barely there skirt and killer platform heels? (Them obviously, those girls yang name panjang sgt nak sebut) (owh and sue, nasib tak pakai baju checkered sebab berlambak giler minah pakai). I went back at 3.30 am with a sore throat, a great memory of a first gig, and a major repercussion from ayah the next day for coming home so late.

p/s: syahrul cakap tengok gaya macam bukan first time je pegi gig. I think maybe it’s because of the way I hollered and got overly excited at times (especially when sam the vocalist of bunkface got down from the stage and walked towards the crowd).

gara-gara ah1n1

my eyes grew watery and my body temperature was 38.8 celsius. they made me wait for 3 and a half hours just so they could take my blood samples and check if i was free of AH1N1. as i lolled in and out of conciousness, i asked the nurse when my would be my turn only to be harped back rudely saying i needed to wait for an hour to get the results of my blood samples, when two persons who took their blood samples had already went in and out of the clinic less than 10 minutes.

maybe these nurses needs to learn some manners and general courtesy, but i was too sick to even make a fuss. my head felt like it was about to burst anytime and all i wanted was to get home immediately.

at least i took some comfort in the fact that my doctor was a really nice guy. cheers to these medical practitioners who didnt beat a sweat even when facing with hordes of angry, sick patients.

To Kill a Mockingbird

Ive read the book for probably the hundredth time, yet it still makes me laugh. Books like these are becoming extinct by the day, they teach you values that are almost foreign in this 21st century. i really do not want to delve in some chick flick that bores the daylight out of me.

ive got a few books i have in mind (yg nanti bile tibe2 strike gold ada duit nak beli semua kat kinokuniya sebab tempat die best), sape2 nak suggest buku2 yg best silakan:
1. Life of Pi
2. The Alchemist
3. The Kite Runner
4. The Graveyard book
5. Caucasia
6. Politicians say the Darnest Things (saje2 sebagai hiburan)

Batuk sucks

i am really frustrated with this annoying cold/batuk/whatever. not only it makes me look like some ah1n1 carrier in the komuter and lrt, it also disrupts my social activities!

Ashaari smsed asking if i would like to be a volunteer for this MERCY program they're having in johor over the weekend. ecstatically i said yes, with only a shorlive joy, because my parents forbids me from going...*WHYYYYYYY

"you've got ths terrible batuk oso nak pegi, nanti bebudak tu kene jangkit jugak macamane", ibu told me for the umpteenth time.. :(

I HATE BATUUKKKKKK!!!!!!

the test,the lunch,ulu yam and loads of bitching and fun

okay..actually the bitching was just a strategy to spicen things up.. ;p

the test...well...what can i say?i get a major headache whenever my mind drifted to the event that took place in KLCC Petronas Tower 1, Level 63. i had to do two tests, which were math and english test. the math test was HORRIBLE. faliq said i may be exaggerating a little bit, like the last time i took the apt test at IBM and passed. but this time im not playing. it really was HORRIBLE. the english was okay though. so i took some comfort in that.

the lunchdate with Kak Aya turned out to be a bog girly lunch with her girlfriends, seeing twelve of us squeezing in a table for 8 at the apartment. although the service was REALLY SLOW, the company was great. her friends were really nice and FUNNY! kak aya said this will be good for my networking when i work in petronas..WTFISH??i am not even sure if im going to pass the test *groanssss

The trip to Ulu Yam turned out to be GREAT. although i couldnt take a dip in the river and resort to being the photographer, it was great to go out, meet new people and just laugh urself silly. *benci betul dengan this stupid cold*

mizi insisted on sending me back home due to my condition, it almost made me hug him real tight; he even called a few times before i took the train to gombak to make sure i was okay *awwww . so off we go, with hilman and charme keeping mizi company for the journey back to uia, and had our supper at the mamak near my house. these are one of the moments where im so grateful im blessed with great friends. :')

p/s: saw a woman who i presumed to be a corporate lady having o'briens sandwich as a takeaway meal. it somehow became a form of motivation for me..(its deeper than that actually)

cepat habiskan kerja prof mansor

i really should finish up prof mansor's work. but im too lazy, and the cold is not helping either. this week is far from boring, and i dont know where i got this sudden zest in life.

tomorrow will be having my aptitude test at tower 1, Petronas Twin Towers. followed by a lunch date with my cousin, Kak Aya, which hopefully will include us two girls ogling at handsome corporate workers with their business suits.

saturday will be spent with mizi and his gang of misfits at Ulu Yam, the theme is Beachy Bitch. I have no idea how a beach and a river has in common, nevertheless, i know this picnic outing will be far than boring, given the "gila-ness" of the crowd is at the maximum level.

sunday, i will have to face my deepest fear of having to actually finish the job. *groan.. but hey! the sooner i finish it, the sooner i'll get my pay :)

cant wait to shop with those "hard-earned" money