Alhamdulillah

I find that as i write down my thoughts on my unknown blog,i somehow felt better. I was too consumed with emotion that i failed to realize how lucky ive been.

Alhamdulillah.

Rock bottom

So it seems that my relationship has once again hit rock bottom.maybe its just me.or maybe we were never good together.

somehow i kept telling myself i should be strong enough to move on when comes a time that the relationship will come to an end,yet i still wake up in the middle of the night hoping he'd texted or called while i was asleep.

How pathetic is that?i hated myself for being so weak.i reminded myself of the our brief seperation,how he seemed so well while i had to take an emergency leave because i cried the whole day,barely eating.

I couldnt help noticing how i am always tge one who victimised my own self,feeling sorry myself and kept on blaming myself for EVERYTHING that has gobe wrong in life,especially when it concerns my lovelife.

I should have some faith.in myself,and most importantly GOD.that He has a plan for me.i may not know what the plan is,but im pretty sure it'll be rewarding for me in the end.as for now,its just a sign for me to toughen up and move on. Not to depend totally on a person who is not even my husband/family. Because theres always that IF.

Nothing in certain in life.until God tells you it is.

Untitled

Hi.im having a flu.and i didnt go to work today because my body just wouldnt allow it.at times like these when i really miss being near my parents and the idea of staying on my own seems like a cold and miserable choice.

Coupled with the fact i just have enough to barely make it till my gaji,i really am miserable.he was supposed to be here,take me to the clinic,because i just cant drive on my own right now.but he's not.and he's giving excuses the same one he always do whenever i asked for something.

I learned a lot within these few days.that the guy you think would always be there for you might not be real,and no one can replace your parents,who wouldnt think twice of dropping everything for you.

Insya allah they will be okay

My sisters are going to start their scoliosis treatment at a government hospital soon.

I pray to Allah things will work out for the better.insya allah

Bad omen?

Im not a superstitious person.i dont believe that when you dream of snakes,it means someone is going to ask for your hand in marriage.i mean,that sounds like a major bullshit.what does snake have anything to do with being married right?

So it irks me that everytime it's my dental appointment,i have to brace myself for the worse because i ALWAYS get into a whole load of problems on that day itself.

Lemme see..hit a lorry because i wouldnt give way to him (he cut my queue),and today almost hit TWO motorcycles (in seperate occasions) and the latter even had the 'decency' to mock me and swerved right infront of my car as if daring me to hit him.(which i would certainly do just to teach that asshole a lesson).

So it occurs to me that whenever i go for my dental appointment,id run into traffic mishaps.i do not want to think of it like "me going to this dentist is not a good omen" because he's just a DENTIST for crying out loud!

Maybe its a sign that tells me in order for me to get great set of teeth,gotta run into all these shitty drivers because what is beauty without pain right??

Lucky ball no.8

It's so much easier if you're able to predict your future and see who you will spebd the rest of your life with.

Uncertainty is surely a scary thing.especially when you've got too much in stake.

Getting old and lazyyyy

Ive been going back to bangi every weekend. Now that im staying in subang on my own,i somehow feel obligated to go back every weekend.even when there's nothing much to do at home except for watching the tv and being a completely gross couch potato.

Somehow it feels gratifying.even when we're not doing anything.i am completely blissful being in the company of my parents,sisters and cats.

They make my world go round i guess.and maybe because im getting old.i cant remember the last time i spend ny weekend thronging the mall.

Hmm :/

P/s:this is usually what i do.sleep like mad and have my cats as my pillow or actually its the other way around.im their pillow and they even look annoyed when i shift my body.spoilt brats

Oh wow

My boss just told me he's increasing my salary to 10%.

I went O.O

When life gives you lemons..what do you do with it?

I'd make jugs of lemonade and poison myself to death.haha.

Just had my appraisal done yesterday.although it was not excellent with a capital E,but i know it's above average.and right after,our boss (the dato') took us all out for lunch and drinks at the pavillion,where we know joked about how he's in a good mood after the appraisal and maybe after the rest of the office has done theirs,he might want to repeat the same treat :) b

I'm actually happy where i am.surprisingly.ive managed to put aside my grievances on having to work in a small company as compared to my previous companies,and take this as an opportunity to grow and improve myself.its not everyday you get a chance to work closely with the managing director of the company.and it's not everyday that you get a chance to be fully involved with what..5 projects that consists of top consultants in the country (we may be small,but the boss has no qualms on spending on good consultants).

Im not saying im disregarding my past experiences of working with giant companies,they are after all,what has shaped me to become what i am now..at work that is.

And so far,my life seems to jive with what i'm doing and where i am at the moment.after work i'd make plans to hang out with my friends,i get to take the lrt (which means no more driving in kl and get stressed out over stupid drivers) and i get to be close to the ones i love. Like for instance,taking my sisters out for movies,watching sue perform with the impatient sisters,being near my cats,etc

So it dawned on me that as soon as i managed to overlook the fact that my office might not be as swanky as UEM's or OSK's, (although the current office is just behind KLCC), i gained a lot more than i ever had before. I havent even search for other jobs for months! (which is always a good thing)

So here's to life and feeling grateful and contented with what you have :)

Below is a picture of my hangout session watching sue perform last saturday :)

kahwin punya pasal

people have been bugging me..asking when the hell am i going to get married.well..if i knew when.i wouldve told you right?i almost snap.because it is a sensitive issue.i dont want to be compelled into getting married just because im at the 'right' age.i know for sure i am not mentally and financially ready to settle down.i dont even know if im with the right guy!heck.i know faliq is amazing.but there are times where u wonder if he is ur jodoh.

sometimes i hope that god would expedite this phase so i wont get harassed by kepochi makciks who's got anything better to do than mind other people's business.but then again..they would prolly continue harassing me when im married by asking when will i get a kid.

there's no pleasing 'em old folks!but for now.i guess one of the reasons i was suddenly eager to get married was because i was envious of my cousin.she had recently got married.and she seemed genuinely happy.and i envy that.hving a new member in the family.etc.sigh.im just a messed up kid who just didnt want to lose out in the race.

but who am i kidding.i dont want to get married for the sake of getting married.i want to be sure i will find the ok giy who will be there through thick and thin no matter what.

i dont have to grow up just yet :)

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of love and life

we always feel like life is treating us unfairly.whatever we have is never enough to satisfy our thirst of absolute happiness.

but have we ever stop and reflect how lucky we are?

even though my family has been hit with the most awful financial breakdown..i realized that our family ties/bond are stronger than ever.

yes.no one is perfect.you still have that annoying,self-righteous,snobby friend.but they're not THAT bad.they are still there when you needed them the most.and will not think twice about gvng u the support u need.

your house is not a huge ass mansion in a sprawling estate.fuck it.u still have a roof above ur head.

u dont have enough money.well...make do with what u have!

u hate ur job?quit!or..look at the bright side of things.what doesnt kill you will only make u stronger.

there.i said it.my life may not be perfect.but i have a lot of things to be grateful about.

p/s:kangoo's kittens are simply adorable.this one is spotty

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neighbours....

Ive been hving problems with the next door neighbour for years.we dont greet each other let alone talk.they made fun of my sisters (which i thoroughly despise) and litter into my lawn.my parents prefer to keep quiet than confront them over what they call petty matters.

But the one thing that burnede up was their liking for open burning.they've been doing this for years and sometimes burn rubber tyres and plastics!the pungent toxic smell would linger in our house the whole day and i was thinking to myself,what kind of a moron would burn plastic and rubber?well..them obviously.

Today was the day i have had enough because it ruined my weeknd.i told my dad to have a word with them but he said nothing.then i took matters upon my own hands and reported them to the dept of env.though it is still a long way to go from here..they should know that their selfishness will eventually bring them down.padan muka

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hello!

Omg..i was so sure i had to cull m blog..but now i can retract my decision now that android has a mobile blogger :)

Yeahh..about using samsung..i lost my bb.i still miss it.but when i saw just how many free apps i could get by using android..hel-lo new phone!

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When friends convene

Its not so easy to meet up with your friends now that most of them are working. Plans have to be made a week earlier, and theres always an issue of choosing the best place that is most convenient for everyone. But that didn't stop me from seeing great friends over the ramadhan :) And did i tell you that nina is leaving for san francisco a week after raya? She's taking a business course all the way in the states for one and half year :( i'm going to miss you nina!! But i'm happy that you're pursuing your dreams. And im glad i had the chance to see you for iftar :) And just yesterday had a really nice iftar with jaja and the rest of the gang.walaupun hanya sekejap :)

Ramdhan is the time for family

This ramadhan is probably the last time I get spend with my family,because by next year, they will be in Penang, whilst I will be in KL alone :(

Making the most counts, I'm glad I get the chance to experience ramadhan this year :)

An advice to future rempits out there

Melayu selalu dikaitkan dgn rempit. Not something we should be proud of. They're becoming a bane to community, and I think it's time we put a stop to this. To salvage whatever Malay identity we have, we do not want to represented by daredevils on a modified motorbikes who find pleasure terrorizing our roads.

I once knew a schoolmate who later became a mat rempit. Right after school he worked odd-jobs just so he can fund his hobby which is to go for illegal racing, and modify his bike. (at least he's doing an honest job instead of snatching people's purses!)

While most of us decide to further our studies to tertiary education, he stayed behind and became an office errand-boy. That was the last I heard of him. I hope he's found a better,more stable job to support him and his fmily, because we have to be realistic here, it's hard enough for someone with a diploma to get a decent job,let alone someone who only has his spm to fall back on. (unless you become a celebrity..then u spm educated oso never mind!haha.pun inteded)

If you notice,most rempits are youths fresh out of school. They think the world is within their grip and motorbike racing is all that.well boy, things won't stay the same 10 years later down the road man. You decide that youve had enough of studying because school sucked and you just think that it'll hinder your passion for rempit-ing. Well boy, later on You'll want to get married, and only then you realize life is not a bunch of roses like you thought it was. You and your wife will want to have kids, and kids are definitely not cheap to raise.

You had all the chances in the world to make your life work, but chose a fool's dream that could only make you happy for probably 3 years,and suffer the rest.why?

A tribute to the greatest woman alive

Well, she is the greatest woman alive,to me that is :) she's my mum..

Ibu's birthday was today,and ayah wanted to take us someplace nice for buka puasa. I immediately suggested Ben's KLCC. The ambience is nice,and the food was affordable, for a KLCC standard that is :/

We ordered like there was no tomorrow, from main course, to side dishes, and then dessert:) i've always wanted my parents to try the to-die-for chocolate cake ,and today it seemed like the perfect ocassion for it.

But by the time dessert came,we were at the brim if bursting our stomachs and we couldn't stuff anything inside anymore,not even the awesome chocolate cake :(

It was a nice dinner to celebrate the woman who has been keeping the family together, and she deserved a fun night out and it was a great night filled with laughter and many forms of eating (particularly stuffing ourselves until we couldn't take it anymore)

Really wanted to upload some pictures but can't seem to do it from my iPad :/ must go godek some more.

I'll upload it as soon as I know how :p

If only I can delete you as easy as in a friend list in facebook

Family members can either be your pillar of support or just a pain in the ass. Right now? I've got a beef with a few people whom I 'have' to call family.

I always seem like I'm complaining about my external family members don't I? But here's the truth. When you're in a deep shit,even your family members will suddenly pretend they're too busy to see you or just stopped calling you.

I've got a case, my dad bailed a relative out of his financial rut almost a decade ago. And then right after that,we faced a huge financial crisis, that left us basically struggling just to make ends meet. While this 'uncle' of mine has started over new leaf,made tonnes of money,and conveniently forget what my father did for him.

I'm not being vengeful, but it did make me wary of trusting people so easily. Even your own family can suddenly develop amnesia and forget about you the minute it became inconvenient for them to have connection with you.

Alhamdulillah, my family's condition has turned around for the better, and now we're just trying to move on from whatever that has happened. Allah knows best. And I have every faith that we will become stronger.

Sorry for the long hiatus

Oh god,I've been on such a long hiatus I doNt even know where to start.but guess how I'm blogging right now?via my new white iPad which I won from a lucky draw at the annual dinner for OSKP and that night happened to be my last day with osk!! Talk about getting an awesome going away gift huh?

so, just a quick update on what's happening:

1-my best friend,khairun,got married last June,and now she's PREGGERS!!!
2-I quit my job.I find myself to be the unsuitable candidate doing a job that requires you to do PR 24/7..I mean,I'm a cranky person,I don't even enjoy meeting new people.so before I sabotage my career path,it's better that I find something I'm happy about,I.e. Project management.
3-my parents are probably moving to Penang, :( ayah got a new job there so he's taking the whole brood along minus me.even my two cats,marmalade and kangoo will be moving as well! :( noffair!!!but anyway,despite my magic self,I hope this will be the best for our family.

Umm..that's all I can think about right now.aside from that,there's not much happening.I find myself becoming even more boring each day,must be something to do with getting older :/

Now that it's easier for me to blog..I'm pretty sure I'll be blogging frequently as I did before back when I was in Johor :)

the distressing call i received as soon as i got off from work

you know what's frustrating? When you have to please EVERYONE. here i was at my new JOB. thinking i'd be okay if i keep out of everyone's way (i.e., not care too much if im not included in the clique, etc.) because, hey, that'd be less of me you can find faults in right? WRONG.

Just got a call from my supervisor saying the HR manager has called him regarding my performance at work. apparently, someone has been complaining i haven't been in the office. I.E, SKIPPING WORK. mister, are u f* blind? we're all in the same office, you f* pass by my cubicle to see that I AM THERE!! so what the hell is this nonsense about me not coming to work?

oh my god. i can't tell you how shattering it was to receive a call like that from my boss, which ended with "you need to be more cautious from now on".whatttttttt

seriously mr fibber, if you have problems with the nature of my work (i am required to travel a lot for work, such as deliver documents, meet up with authority officers) then by all means, get me a new job description. i am more than willing to comply.

people who despise others to be happy brings me down. why?when u are just out to make others miserable, i wonder how your family members fare. not much i guess.

an emotional affair that ended with a fairy tale ending :)

my cousin got married last friday. from thursday until saturday; i dont know where the hell did we all (our whole family) got the enery from to keep on going. i think if there was an indication bar to state the current condition of our energy reserve, ours would be bright red with a warning we'd collapse anytime soon.

yes. it was that f* exhausting, but it was worth every single sweat. 

right after the akad (wedding solemnization); i couldnt help shedding a few tears; thinking how my dearest cousin, hazrina, who was close to being a big sister i never had, is now finally married and ready to leave our rahman clan nest. words couldnt describe how emotional that moment felt for me, as i reminisce the memories we had, especially our childhood years (we grew up together as i used to live with her family, because both my parents were working) within that split minutes bob (her husband) recited the vow. and im pretty sure manja felt even more sad than i was; given that they were both sisters :)

the wedding was a HUGE affair, when i meant huge, it really was. 4 big canopies should proof that i was right. and we were all decked in the same baju kurung (malay weddings usually see family members wearing same outifits;i.e the same fabric, or the same colour). i was given the task to distribute the bunga telur (doorgifts) to all guests; which sees me being on my feet the whole day. even faliq was thrown onto the bandwagon. he became the family's photographer while at the same time while taking the opportunity to mingle with my cousins. * an opportunist never lets a golden opportunity goes to waste!!muahaha*

butttt......when you've got everyone in this whole affair, there's bound to be some dramas, but yeah, we handled it pretty well. wouldnt want to let some small drama ruin the beautiful event now do we? :)

all in all, i loved the event. it was a testament that your family is there no matter what. even when you're ugly, or at your worst; your family will never abandon you and let you go through the shit alone. :) 

photos will be uploaded as soon as i get a copy from manja :) now. i need my sleep. because my eyes are beginning to resemble two ping pong balls and my eyebags are so visible, they might as well become my new set of cheeks -_-" get itttttt

p/s:going to weddings seem like an emotional affair to me now. maybe im at that age where i seriously want to settle down. :( but what can i do, no jodoh yet. insya allah my time will come soon.

toddlers and babies

today is the day spent with friends, family, toddlers and babies :) aside from seeing samir si mejam; stands for merah jambu BTW kerana die punya kulit macam omputih (HAHAHA) and the girls at wondermilk; abg adik and his troops came over to mama's house for lunch. hence; me playing with si adrian kerana budak-budak lain dah besar and would rather play amongst themselves than with an aunt who would smother them with hugs and kisses :(

i know i never really had the motherly instinct. i'm not like my cousins who had the experiences of taking care of a baby. i was more like the fun aunt who would amuse you while you still find me amusing. (usually the average age of this would be from 1-3 years old). and after that you'd just find me boring and play with your peers of the same age :/

but today. im just basking in the attention of my dear nephew adrian who finds me the coolest aunt in the world; imitating spongebob and what nots, just making him laugh brings me joy.sigh. dont you just wish they would just stay this way? and never grow up to become the angsty pimply teenager... :I

p/s:i love kids, the simplest things can make them happy. 

SPECIES PEREMPUAN PELIK #1

i am so not used to this. i mean, blogging from a cyber cafe rather than the comfort of my office cubicle (haha. kantoi dulu kat PH bukan buat keje pun, sebok blogging).

so yeah. currently im at the cc, blogging, while faliq is beside me, googling for lyrics for his next gig. *which will be this SATURDAY!! COME PEOPLE!!!IT WILL BE AT SJYC (please dont ask me what this stands for because i dont even know myself)* sempat plak buat promo di situ.

i had a post about species lelaki pelik; rightttt...so this time i guess, this is about species perempuan pelik numero uno! wanna know who makes the list? crazy ex gf from the past. jeng jeng jeng! *mintak mintak la korang bukan dari golongan ini*

ok. never really had an experience with crazy ex-gf from the past maybe because all the guys i dated before; well, their exes memang nak BUANG diorang jauh-jauh kot. HAHAH *ok, not so funny joke. -_-"

so i guess, it's just my luck that now I have a great bf (his name is faliq btw) even though yeah, we broke up for awhile, as you can see from my previous posts. but now we're about to celebrate our Thirdd anniversary, and hopefully, our jodoh akan dipanjangkan and..HURRAH!

so it's also just my luck that he comes with extra baggage that won't or should i say, refuse to shake him off from their lives even though their story has ended YEARS ago. my first year of relationship was rocked by his ex-gf whom i will call Z in this post. she was constantly calling him, and texting him; asking him about his whereabouts, and etc. This happens when she found out her precious ex bf suddenly has a new gf. the sudden interest in his whereabouts and his "keadaan sekarang" was amusing. after many repeated hints that Mr. F was in no way interested in attending her calls and messages, she kept quiet, and thankfully; left us in peace. Now, i ask you, why must you do this woman?? threatened that your ex-bf will no longer be your fall back plan, should your current bf, whom you left your ex for, was not the man you dreamed about eh?pfft.

i thought i've finally heard enough of this ex thing when suddenly, two years later, ANOTHER ex came into the picture. and guess what, apparently she has always been a bit psychotic. when it concerns Mr. F. and the funnier part was, they were only together in HIGH SCHOOL. oh-em-gee. i dont even know where to begin. before this she has left messages, and posts on fb under the pretense they were just keeping in touch for old times sakes (high school mates la konon); but things got really hot and heavy when she found out about our brief breakup.

leaving posts on fb walls, inviting him out for coffee, and another post stating "have i ever thanked you for your time last weekend?". wtf. the second post was when Mr. F and i was already on the verge of getting back together, and i can vouch that he didnt even spend time with her last weekend, as she has stated. so on what basis was this post made of??NOTHING!! only the satisfaction of knowing your ex's gf will boil in anger reading this post, because it is of course a very provocative post.

when i got REALLY UPSET about it, she had the audacity to be MAD at me for being MAD at her! anda nampak tak mindfuck games she's trying to play here?and she went as far as claiming that i am no good for him because i caused him to put me above his friends (her i presumed); and ALL of his friends hated me. what gives?whats wrong with you woman?you're already happy with your own sweet life. WHY must you give a shit about what your ex-bf is doing and with whom he's dating?

thank god i have Mr. F, whom patiently solved all these issues with sheer loyalty to the relationship and with a touch of coolness.

as for me, i'm just bidding my time, once she crosses my fucking line, im going all out b****. A note to all girls out there, let it go, if he's happy with someone new, be happy for him, he was never meant to be yours, and this might be the chance for you to meet your prince charming who might be better than him too :) so stop playing mind fuck games with his current beau; the poor girl is just trying to have a chance to have a happy life like you wanted.

p/s:thanks farhat for your tweet about my blog. appreciate it a lot :)

how do you deal with toxic family members?

ive been having problems with a few family members. its bad enough if you have issues with your friends, and when situation has surpassed the limit and is beyond repair; the ultimate solution would be breaking up with the friend. correct? but how do you deal with the few bad apples in the family? you cant simply just throw them away. but its also something very toxic to have to put up with their attitude.

what's worse, i think is our eastern culture whereby we cannot say anything against the elders or we're deemed as disrespectful and just simply "kurang hajar". but hello, lady, you've been bullying your family members for decades, and being insensitive towards other people's misfortunes. who is being kurang hajar here? 

i am not an angel, i dont mean to preach. but i hate it when people just simply cross the line and think no one is brave enough to tell them off. i was this close to make my opinions be heard actually. but my "eastern roots" caught the better of me, and ive decided to just keep my distance; and avoid contact. lagi banyak mengata lagi banyak dosa kita dapat kan? so its better if i just keep my distance from you and your FAMILY, and i'd live peacefully with the rest of the family members. 

do not have time to entertain idiots like you.

city slickers sucks like hell

faliq's away at the moment. for 5 days frolicking in the sun down under (in perth specifically) living the life of a backpacker. entah mandi ke tak aku pun tak tau. the first time he's the one who's away instead of me. and i must be feeling what he had been feeling when i went to Korea and Australia. :/ i woke up this morning and almost about to dial his number when i suddenly recall that he's in australia. so i told myself he'll be back in no time and i'd see him again this tuesday :)

work has been great. orrrr....not. :/ i absolutely love my job. it fits me well. seriously. who wouldn't like the fact that you get to work flexi hours, waking up at 9 when others are already sloughing their way to work. hahaha. my immediate superior is awesome. the thing about working with a guy is that...well. you have to be like a guy. they dont care about the nitty gritty details, all they want is the results. ho hum. 

the office? sure as hell not as gorgeous as puteri harbour. but the first few weeks i started working, ive been going to klcc and wangsa walk EVERY FREAKING SINGLE DAY after work. because im that PERAK about working in the city. (you must know that I've been working by the sea surrounded by umm....empty lands ready for development).

the working environment is sooo different! there are a lot of moments that made me miss the warm people of puteri harbour, but this is the life i have to lead now. no wonder people get stressed out working in the city. the congestion is enough to give you a heart attack, and the attitude. oh-my-god! where the hell did all these people come from? its like they came straight out of a "im born to be rude" class. had a few encounters with these people including the ones in my office which made me almost burst out in rage. i am just proud i stopped my urge to slap this particular person.

but aside from this, thankful that im back. :)

hiatus comeback

ive been on a very long hiatus havent i? before this i'd have one post daily; and now i only get to do this once a month.

well let's see. A LOT has happened. new work place; private life; friends; families. where do i start? and my english is so abhorrent i feel like slapping myself.

i think i need a breather. i dont even have time for myself. working in kl is so physically and mentally exhausting. i'd come home feeling bloody tired. of work. of having to go through the bloody congestion. and i dont even have time to finish a book! (well, two books now :) im reading a doctor in the house and paulo coelho's veronika decides to die; i guess im setting too high of a target for myself )

the only solace i get is now i am in the company of my family 24/7 and my friends :) thats all that matters right? home is where the people you love and care are. its still too early to tell about how i will be tackling my issues at the new workplace. first things first; i need to find a way to start blogging regularly. ive strayed quite far from the routine i was used to when i was in johor. just need some time to get into the rhythm of living in kl!!

p/s:and the fact that my new company blocked blogspot's website doesnt help either :p

seperti rusa sesat di kl

the move to kl has taken over my life;will update soon!

MY FAREWELL PARTY

they chose steamboat because right now I'm having difficulties in chewing, so steamboat is the best choice for soft food, well, compared to eating soup and porridge! *braces suck when it gets in the way of me and my glorious food cravings*

a few days prior to last night, i went to JJ with Kak Ikin and Awin on a window shopping spree (ceh, window shopping pun nak letak spree kan) and awin was looking for a new watch. KATENYEEE. so she asked me whch one did i like best. and guess what i got last night?

The dusty pink casio i chose. -_-" kene tipu terang2 :)

they were trying so hard in keeping the farewell party as a surprise. i was on the way to the venue of the party with Kak Yan and Kak Miza; when the boss called kak yan.

Boss: Where are you?

KY: We're on our way already (konon nak rahsia taknak bagitau aku venue kat mana)

Boss: owh it's not at Coxn? where is the party at?

KY:New York Hotel boss!

.....

FAKKKKKKK *Dalam hati kak yan kerana dgn senangnya dah kantoikan their surprise plan* 

I started laughing really hard. so did kak miza. hahaha. so much for wanting to blinfold me so i wouldnt find out where we were headed. in the end i pretended to be surprised when we reached the venue *kasi jaga sama muka kak yan supaya takde kene belasah dgn org lain* :P

i loved the fact that they've put in so much effort in organising the party, as well as getting me the gift. :) trully am touched by all this.

siap aisyah si kecik pun ada :D *she was fascinated with my braces. haha

tgk berape banyak kotak depa pakai nak nganjing aku. :P

:)

next up. Singapore trip!! cannot wait :)

p/s: ain't gonna let some anasir emo ruin my farewell party yo.  

MY WEEK IS FULL :)

my days in the office are numbered; and i can sense my colleagues are trying to squeeze as much time as possible with me. :')

we made plans throughout the week; including the weekends, which surely will occupy my mind. the thing is, he's here. in jb. i met him yesterday. and it was so comforting to just be near him. i know i know. I'm trawling on a dangerous territory right now. but yeah, the sense of comfort i once had; well, i miss it. and i just want an ounce of what i had before. just an ounce. not that much. that's all i asked for.

tomorrow is my supposedly "surprise" farewell party. well, because of the obliviousness of some people, they came and asked me upfront about my party, when in actual fact, I'm not even supposed to know there was going to be one! so now the secret is out of the bag, and I'm going to make sure i look my best for tomorrow :)

Saturday will be spent in Singapore :) a total of 12 people altogether; all stuffed in 3 cars, well, not so bad actually because it'd be 4 for each car; and i have no idea what the hell are we going to do there. i cant help but laugh over the fact that it resembles rombongan cik kiah. 12 people weh. how the hell are we supposed to appease 12 people's wants?? kak ikin said we'll just let them all run loose; while we (girls) proceed to our ultimate goal visiting Singapore. SHOPPINNNNGGGGG!!!

Sunday, well, they told me this morning they'd like to go to Kluang Station for breakfast. OH MANNNN... best sial. cannot wait :) just like old times :)

'Tis the season to be "jolly"

yesterday an old friend what's app-ed me after he found out about the break up.

Him: ko macamane ni?ok tak?
me: sakit dowh break. aku tak datang keje satu hari sebab depressed.
Him: e'eleh. baru break up je. relaks la. bende kecik je
me: e'eleh. cube ko break up, tgk sakit tak sakit. Not that aku doakan ko break up la
Him: aku baru je break
Me: *oopss..* : /

after a long awkward silence; we agreed on having a sesi luahan hati later when I'm back in KL so we'd get it out of both of our systems.

mane gua nak tau mamat ni pun baru break sia. i guess its the season kot : /

Things to look forward to

i have much to look forward to. believe me. recovering from a break up is hell-ish. don't believe me? ask my friends. who are constantly barraged with calls, messages, and tweets that is reflective of a person who's about to lock herself up in a tower and never go out again.

i would say the timing of the break up was untimely. when i'm about to leave Puteri Harbour. supposedly, at this moment of time, i should be focusing all my energy on my handing over (done already actually), and spending as much time as possible with my colleagues and enjoying my last moments here. but because of this break up (i really don't want to call this a break up, let's call this "the event"); i just cannot wait to get my ass back in kl, so i will be surrounded by my friends, the malls, and a few other activities that would definitely occupy my mind. say, for instance, be a member of the National Heritage Society. i want to regisiter NOWWWW!!

i really shouldn't moan about this, because life goes on. just that now, sakit sikit la. later on, i am pretty sure i'll be ok. so will he. maybe later in life we can be friends again, that's possible. but now, i just want the pain to stop. and now, in order for me to ease the pain, i'll go on my routine of wikipedia-ing, and tweeting, and just have some fun while i'm here. i won't get to see them when i move back to kl. friends right now, are much more important.

so here's a list to the road of recovery:

1. Go to all places i know i will miss in JB when i move; i.e., pasar karat, roost juice bar, singgah selalu, karaoke (itu mesti okaaayyy), hutan bandar. ape semua tempat makan and shopping ni...
2. Go to Singapore!! cannot wait :B finally after a year of working here, i'd finally have the chance to go to Singapore with my colleagues :)
3. bile pulang ke kl, buat braces belah gigi bawah. the pain will surely make me forget about my other "pain".
4. Start work at the new PLACE! HOMAIGODDDD TAKUT GILER!!!
5. watch Mael's performance at Laundry Bar
6. Go to Khairun's engagement :)
7. SPEND AS MUCH TIME AS POSSIBLE WITH MY GIRLFRIENDS!! (SEE THIS? ITS IN CAPS LOCK AND BOLD FONT BECAUSE THIS IS THE MOST IMPORTANT POINT OF ALL!!!)
8. go back to Kedah with my family for a family kenduri, as well as ammet's wedding. I miss Kedah!!!

see. banyak tu activity. ok la tu. Insya-Allah i'll be ok. :)

the message in the middle of the night.

yesterday night i received a message on facebook from tiana, one of my schoolmates back in high school. which she sent me after reading my post about the break up on my blog.

and it just warmed my heart to receive a message from someone i havent talked to in years, but was concerned about the current state i am now. she wished me the best, and hope i'll recover soon, and looks forward to cheerful posts in the future. thanks tiana :)

your message made me smile in the middle of the night, and i stopped having nightmares (which was now becoming even more frequent) after reading it. again, thanks for your concern. after all. we are all born fighters, tak macho la kalau mengaku kalah macam tu je kan? :)

another hurdle in life that i have to face to find happiness

my tumblr has been my best friend for the past few days. because i was able to blog straight from my BB. whenever i had the urge to call him, or think about those little moments i had; which was just too painful to spit it out, i'd write it on my tumblr. surprisingly it gave me comfort, although just a little bit, but at least there's something there.

during these trying times that you realize who are your bestfriends. and i am very much grateful that all of them are. they've been wonderful in helping me cope with the sudden loss of my relationship. the girls, kuhaz, sue, nina and sarah, seemed to be taking turns "babysitting" me through smses, whats app, and bbm. not to mention numerous calls whenever i had the urge to call him. bobo was there when i cried. amir told me to come back to kl, kak ikin provided me laughter and a brief distraction; awin listened to my woes through coffee session at McD, and khairun and max even called to advise me on how to approach this. they remind me of shrinks. all of them..

i even googled on how to move on after breaking up. the moving on 101 guide has beed quite logical, but some are just so PFFT! like having imaginary boxes to store thoughts about him, ho mannn.. if my head is like the computer i'd gladly do this, but i cannot store my thoughts about him in an imaginary box!

the best part was, this has brought me to closer to my mum. she was so gung-ho about me moving on that i was almost scared she'd kill me if i don't. -_-"

i don't know what will happen in the future. but i am on the road to recovery. though it may be a little bit slow, but i'm getting there.

Grilles on ma' teeth

after a decade of waiting. finally.. i present to you, my new look!im eksaiteddddd

ill be wearing these for a year and a half. sorry for the blurry pic. it was taken using my BB :)

though the process was quite painful, im glad ive finally gotten my teeth done. ive been wanting to wear braces ever since i was a teen. :) that's 10 years ago :) alhamdullillah.

i posted this on my fb and i received numerous enquiries about braces. does it hurt, how much does it cost, where did i get mine done, etc. never knew others were so excited about wearing them as well :)

but right now. this is my 3rd day without chocolate :( im close to dying actually. my gum is still not strong enough to chew, and frankly im bored with the porridge/soup/maggie diet. I WANT REAL FOOD!!

busuk hati

i've got beef with a few people at the moment. sometimes you just cant help but feel pure hatred towards a person. because it is beyond your comprehension why that person can be so mean, and malicious towards someone they call as "friend".

and we're talking about adults who are in the range of 30-45 years old ok. not TEENAGERS.

Might as well take them as teens. since they do not have the logic or common sense like NORMAL adults have.

the "glam" dinner

faliq and i were pretty excited about the dinner. we even went as far as getting a corsages for both of us; to implicate the "PROM" mood :)

my wrist corsage is a PRETTY white rose :)

getting ready at faliq's house saw HUGE intervention by Faliq's mum who almost fainted when she saw what i was going to wear. she even wanted to do my make-up; but then due to time constraints, i did my own make up and the results were BEST la jugak for a beginner like me :)

so this is what i wore for the dinner:

all courtesy of Auntie G :) she even loaned me her pearl bracelet and necklace

all of faliq's friends were dressed to the nines as well. and we were quite excited about the dinner. imagine to our horror when we discovered it was an AMWAY'S ANNUAL DINNER! no wonder our friend was keeping us in the dark about this, i think he was scared we'd find out.

dah name MLM, so it's filled with activities that glorify the founder / sifu of theirs, complete with phrases like luar biasa, lots of speeches that professes gratification towards the founder. *yeah, LUAR BIASA <--- the phrase they kept repeating throughout the event. -____-"

but we didnt let that damper our mood to have fun, so we tried our hardest to enjoy the rest of the night :)

neny (betul kan name ni?), herny and jaja

syah, faliq and i

saje nak tunjuk our corsages. we were the only ones with corsages. malu betullllllll

:)

one of the highlights of the night was the games. this one, we had to pick a guy from our table and dress him up as a girl with whatever materials we have (in which we chose razif), one guy from another table wrapped himself with the sash from the dinner table! in case you're wondering how we fared, we got second :) i was the one that wrapped the hijab for him. HAHA sempat lagi nak mencapapkan diri sebagai contributor

jaja spoiled our pic -_-" she has the tendency to do that when she saw couples taking photos. sazzy was attacked as well. HAHA.

sadly this is the only clear picture i have with faliq (T.T)

all in all, it was quite a memorable night :) in spite of the shocking discovery; it was a night spent with friends and fun :)

WHAT I DID DURING NEW YEAR'S EVE AND THE DAYS AFTER

Pictures can tell a thousand words, nuff said.

on new year's eve, we stumbled upon this:

see this? this is pretty scary. and FREAKING COOL. its a 3-storey high indoor slide and I'd be a fool if i didnt give this thing a try. hoho.so we did :) *btw, they even have an indoor flight simulator :)

TA-DAHH..it cost us RM 12 each -_- *yeah, who would've guessed that you've got to pay to ride on slides. but i tell ya, it'll take a while for you to be able to walk straight right after getting off the slide. sebab die pusing-pusing O.o

our attempt to camwhore afterwards. failed miserably because faliq's face was blocked by me. in case you're wondering where is this awesome place yg ade gelunsur dan simulator?? Empire @ Subang :)

next up. on 1st of January, we attended Faliq's close friend's wedding, and his bride happens to be my friend :) small world indeed :)

ainil and elly. ainil is soooo gorjes that day :) well, she has always been gorjes pun, tapi this time seri pengantin die sgt terserlah :) and i love white weddings, we all came dressed in white. *because we received a message from ainil asking if we'd come wearing white coloured outfits.

ok.everyone except for sidiq dressed in white. -_-" sidiq is the one dressed in black

later that night, we had the much talked about "Glam Dinner". which deserves a post on its own, much to tell.

2nd and 3rd were spent pretty much with the family. i went looking for tigger on the 3rd, but to no avail. almost broke down crying. later that night, kak ina called telling me they've caught her, only to find that it was a wrong cat when i came over. :( anyways, i hope she's safe and loved by anyone who has decided to keep her. she was my parents' favourite.

owh, in case you haven't heard. i'll be doing my braces pretty soon. END OF JANUARY!! that's soon enough!! cannot wait :)