the pre-bday that took me by surprise

experienced utter mortification while having a normal dinner @ bubba gump with the group when suddenly a waiter brought out a HUGE chocolate cake with my name on it. SURPRISE!

tapi apabila mereka menyuruh aku naik atas kerusi, bagi speech, menyanyi dan menari (saya mendendangkan lagu raya satu line sahaja); muka ni dah tebal macam pakai make up berserta foundation 10 inci. nina and sarah was having the time of their lives laughing at me.

by the end of my "performance", faliq yg macam galak memegang kamera came back to the table and said,
"b, macamane nak record? (looks at the camera) owh!yg red button ni ke??". oh em gee. i am beyond words (-_-")

thankfully munshi recorded my moment of embarassment and posted in facebook and by the end of the week, everyone i met asked me about it. THANKSSSSSSS... malu giler kot.

this is when u dont need the waiter

this is when u need the waiter. how cool is this system! so environmental friendly, and throat friendly too as you dont have to yell and embarass yourself to call for the waiter

the super-duper nice onion rings

what i had. bbq chicken

the tabasco sauce bottle is the "mike". sedang malu sambik menutup muka

giving out speech that comprises of "i hate all of you"

malu dan ter over birah tgk kek

i dont know why faliq took a picture of my butt (-_-")

menari sambil menyanyi

cantik kan kek ni???

p/s: sue and kuhaz. i miss you guys. rase tak complete without the five of us. :( korang memang the best in giving out surprise bday celeb.

raya dinner and the killer platforms

things have been quite topsy-turvy; with the mood swings that has gone wacko to work that can render you braindead.

yesterday was quite fun though. because we had a Raya Dinner for the UEM Land staff. which means FREE FOOD!

wore the killer platforms and by the end of the dinner, feet was aching all over. and it was only what, 4 hours of wearing it??!! 4 HOURS JE KOT! tu pun tak tahan. my feet are too manja because of my preference on flats.

pictures will be uploaded later. :)

LOVING RITTER SPORT

the reason why i love Ritter Sport

ever since i was introduced to Ritter Sport chocolates by Joe, i went totally GAGA over it. a week later, my parents went to Langkawi (yes, during puasa, of all the time); i gave them an extensive list of chocolates for them to buy (duty free mah!!).

when they came back, they bought bags and bags of chocolate; including two medium sized with hazelnuts; and a HUGE BAR Praline flavoured.

as i happily took ALL of the chocolate stocks back to johor, received an sms from ayah. "Did you take the Praline Ritter Sport? THAT'S MINE! Bring it back to KL when u come back the next time".

pedih jugak rase hati ni. (T_T) selama ni ayah saya yg tak suke coklat pun dah mule nak amik takhta saya sebagai chocolate freak. tamak plak tu! takde lansung message tu berbaur "Syaza makan je la coklat tu, ayah can buy a new one".

p/s: thank god Ibu and i had different tastes in chocolate preferences. she bought Bounty for herself. but to me, any chocolate with COCONUTS are a big NO-NO because they just suck.

why working sucks

had an awful start of the day. first, almost fucked up the meeting because a consultant claimed she didnt receive any invite for the meeting, when in actual fact i did invite them, but my mistake on not following up.
 -.-" to make matters worse, that particular consultant is the QS, and 90% of the meeting's agenda was to discuss on tender and contractual issues. STUPID SYAZA.

secondly. another consultant; i dont even know why, came one and a half hours LATE! it certainly added fuel to my boss's already rotten mood. *this was not my doing because they replied to email stating their attendance*

and now, im quite relieved my boss is in a good mood all over again and she's about to go off for a raya party. PHEW.

calling for prayer

my dad now resorts to calling me on my phone to wake me up for subuh. since he's too malas to turun tangga (parents' room on 3rd floor, and i like to sleep in the living room).

there has been instances that my parents even forgot that im in the house -_-" agak sedih when they've already moved on and gotten used to not having you around.

ways to be happier at work. good stuff. really.

how to be happy at your job; i think its kismet. just when i was feeling the lowest, even lower than a pile of dung by the roadside, i found this .

i think deep down it boils down to whether what you're doing has a purpose or not. as for me; i think one of the reasons why im feeling so shitty is because ive been tossed into one after another project like im a ball because my OWN project was put on hold at the moment. thus, the feeling like you're more of a menyemak, tak dapat contribute sgt, as compared to feeling so confident of yourself that the consultants would rather talk to you than talking to your boss or superior for info.

HMM. i need to find inner peace. which is non-existent at the moment.

masak attempt #2

my second attempt in cooking friend rice. better than before. even the colour shows it tasted better than my first attempt

the eye case

When my eye had an allergic reaction due to long-hours of contact wearing, i was whisked to our family clinic which is also a pakar mata. the doctor told me i had to stay off contacts for about a week. given that i had no spare glasses, i was confined to wearing just one contact lens on my right eye, the unaffacted eye, and feeling visually handicapped. *tgk movie pun tak lepas.

faliq took pity of me and brought me out for meatballs and daim cake, given the fact that we didnt go the previous night because kiki passed away by the LDP. bodoh betul.

notice tak mata sebelah tu kero semacam

the selection of eye drops macam eye drop buffet plak

the new pair of glasses. nampak macam budak sekolah pun ade.

the taste of your family

A&W reminds me of my family. note that. not home, but my family. :( i dont get homesick whenever i eat A&W, but i get familysick (is there such a word?) because i dont associate a&w with home. i associated it with the fondest memories i had with my family who just love eating a&w only if its at the old PJ place. other a&w branches just wont do.

my earliest memories of fast food restaurants would be playing at the playground in McD parade (yg lame dulu sebelum die renovate, best sial tempat tu); playing at KFC's playground, the one in subang before they tore it down and turn the area into a badminton court, and eating at A&W, drive-in style. note that, drive in eh, not drive through. drive in would be you parking your car at the drive-in spot, order from your car and eat in the car. HAHA. my parents used to love that concept because they're too lazy going into the restaurant, queue up and eat at the stiff stools of the old PJ A&W.

dari banyak2 fast food aku mentioned atas. A&W is by far the only fast food i remembered having a fond memory of makan makanan berminyak die. because the onion rings are to die for, and they sell the best root beer in town. hands down to that. i used to eat the plain hot dog, and as i grew up and acquired the taste for spicy food, i graduated to the classic coney dog. *owh man, just the mention of it can make me salivate.

last night had my dinner at A&W with ika and i told her how much i missed my family, and she goes "oh, no. are you homesick again? ape je yg tak make ko homesick". FARNIE IKA, REALLY FARNIE.

so whenever i feel like i want to be close to my family, even when we're 300 km apart. i go to a&w.

WHAT HAPPENED ON THE FOURTH RAYA

MUKE MESTI HAPPY WALAUPUN TERDAMPAR DI TEPI HIGHWAY

the raya saw a whole set of events that rendered me speechless. it all started when faliq and i was supposed to go beraya. it was my last day in kl (Monday) and we were both decked in matching outfits *faliq likes to match his baju melayu to the colour of my baju*

as we were approaching KL, he received a call from his friend informing him that his other friend was admitted into the hospital. he was reluctant to go visit since it would only shorten our date together; but i urged him to go anyway. there we were in our raya suit while his friends were in bermuda shorts and t-shirts. talk about dressing to the occasion.

while at the hospital, i received a message from jaja, whom i was supposed to meet last night but didnt. she experienced an unfortunate event at work and we thought we'd pick her up and show her a good time. all was well when we were about to enter LDP in front of the Kastam building in KJ, the car (kiki) started choking and shivering (boleh imagine tak?) and faliq pulled over at the Kelana Jaya Park's parking area. after 30 minute, a kind samaritan helped us with the battery (which i've just replaced!) and we were off to IKEA! YAY!

but then, God has another plan for the 3 of us. a motorcyclist riding beside started pointing to the back of the car. that was when we realized that the car's boot was wide open the whole time we were driving! APEKAH MALU GILER KOT! we managed to find a small spot at the bus stop along the LPD just before you exit towards going into OU punye road, to tutup the bonet, when KIKI DIED!! it took two cars, a motorbike, a truck, a pick up truck and 2 FREAKING HOURS to find out what the hell went wrong. it turned out the alternator was giving us the problem, so the mechanic guy we called just managed to start up the car and told us to drive straightaway back home.

as we were driving back, after passing the sunway toll, THE CAR suddenly died!! it took a lot of hand gestures to drive to the side of the road *sebab lampu dah konk out, kene gune signal tangan* and we were stranded once again by the roadside, with no hazard light on *because kete tu memang dah mampos* and faliq had to use two umbrellas as detractors. *gile inovatif boyfriend aku ni*

later a the LITRAK PERONDA guys came and towed the car to IOI, where it's safer, before we negotiated with them to tow it back to mama's house. while they towed the car, we sat in the atos and were having so much fun being in a car with no driver :B siap amik video naik kete yg sedang di-tow. jakun tak jakun.

Jaja later went back with azzim, while faliq and i had our meal at 1 am in the morning in a shoddy KFC in kajang with our eyes half open. still decked in matching raya outfits.

the whole ordeal costs me my eyes. i got an allergic reaction on my left eye for wearing contacts too long, and had to take MC for two days to wind it down. and it coincides with kiki completed its repair treatment. went back to johor with new specs and a new kiki that now experiences problem with the drive shaft. OH MAN. penat seh bawak kete lama ni. banyak betul problem die! 

kiki stranded beside LDP

faliq.exhausted and looking incredibly handsome :)

jaja and faliq

the third time it broke down after the Sunway toll. couldnt help taking a picture when the LITRAK guy manouvered the car :D

adoi SD card ni

the raya brings a lot of tales for me to share. and a better set of pictures now that my parents bought a new camera and i have the habit of taking pictures using that instead of my phone (HAHAHA)

the SD card is being a bitch. so ill see if i can upload the pixxies later.

for now, here's a picture of me and faliq in our failed attempt to go beraya. i'll tell the whole story later when i can upload the pictures. its much more effective with visual effect. :P

how was your raya?

kangoo is my favourite

the raya holidays has made it awkward for me to start work again after being in KL for so long. it's as if i've only left; but in actual fact it's almost a year soon.

even the cats have gotten used to having me around. particularly kangoo who likes to sunggle up to me whenever im sleeping; and will be the only one who responded when i call her name. my mum said she misses me. i wonder if she actually knows that this person who comes home twice a month only during weekends is one of her owners.

aku yang hilang

sometimes aku rasa kalau aku tak berhubung dgn faliq, mesti aku lost dalam kekeliruan and kekacauan. kekadang ym dgn jaja buat aku rase ade closeness still dgn life yg semakin lama semakin meninggalkan aku. life kat kl tak semegah macam aku dulu rase. sometimes aku rase time aku balik macam sempat jumpe sape je. tak sempat nak buat aku rase normal sepenuhnya.

kekadang bile email dgn nina, lagi rase macam jauh je. HAHAH. tapi nak kate each time balik aku jumpe die jugak. LOVE YOU NINA.

tapi aku pikir balik; aku punye youth yang semakin diminishing each day ni nak buat ape dgn die. aku nak grow old and filled with regret not spending the time with the people i love back in kl? atau spent working at an unsatisfactory company doing something you despise. same je la kan?

dah. malam ni aku nak makan toblerone ibu bagi sampai habis.

win some lose some.

yesterday after getting home from the bazaar laden with food and my precious nasi kerabu; received a text message from kak yan. joe invited us for buka puasa at TGIF. WTFISH. aku dah beli nasi kerabu :'(

in the end nasi kerabu won, and faliq even went as far as saying he was proud that i chose nasi kerabu over tgif. takde rezeki, what to do. kalau rumah gue ade microwave dah lame pegi dah. ni nak suh aku simpan nasi kerabu ni for sahur? ho man, jgn harap. sahur pun belum tentu bangun. :P

later ika texted asking if i want to lepak, she was on her way back from her office in singapore. and it occured to me how long we havent seen each other since she started working. and both of us confided in each other on the bitchy nature of work. it feels good to let it out with a person not associated with the company. and its refreshing to be in the company of an old friend here in johor. there are times when i feel like i begin to lose myself in all the johor-ness and i might not know how to be a kl-lite ever again (boleh ke?)

i even went to her new house which she previously asked if i wanted to move in with her. JAUH seh. but it was bloody spacious. memang best la kalau kawan2 datang and sleep over as compared to the STORE ROOM i call my room currently.

tapi what to do. i dont think i want to sacrifice the moment when i woke up late and still get to the office on time with a spacious bedroom 30 minutes using a dark jalan belakang road. NO SIREE. well, you win some you lose some eh?

somehow i feel like having waffles tonight :)

ADVERT SEKARANG TGK KAT TENET PUN JADI LA

we malaysians love festive advertisements, it became a pop culture popularised by the late yasmin ahmad when she directed a LOT of memorable festive advertisements that till now, you tirelessly watch it without getting bored :)

tapi iklan2 lain pun best jugak, yg TNB tu, ingat naik motor, rupe-rupenye parut kelapa. LOL. but my favourite would be the Deepavali advert, yg si Sam rupe-rupenye name Muthusamy karupiah. BEST SIAL.

but now, i had to watch the tv advertisements on the internet? WHAT GIVES?

LUIT LAYA

whenever Raya was around the corner, i would be the most excited person because i'll be the person in charge of putting the bank notes into its respective envelopes.

My dad used to be the Manager for the Mantin's Maybank branch. i think it became a family tradition for as long as i could remember; all of my aunts and uncles would "kirim" money to my dad to be changed into RM1 or RM5 or RM10 notes. *ye lah, tak payah susah2 pegi bank

dah tu dapat angpao packets macam2 jenis. and i'd be given the task to insert a certain amount of money into each envelopes, depending on how much my dad wants it. *therefore i know how much you'll be getting from the type of designs of your angpao packet.HEHEHE

and i would be having so much fun counting the amount of money i get by the end of each raya. and later arrange for a hang-out session at the mall with my cousins.

now im the one who has to fork out the money to give for RAYA. can i not grow old please??

DONT TELL MY MOTHER IS THE BOMB

last sunday when i was at mama's house, i watched this program called "don't tell my mother"; its shown on discovery channel and it's hosted by this guy who travels to all these unconventional places all over the world. i've watched his program several times, when he went to Palestine, and Cuba.

this time he went to Iran. HAHA. during his trip, he visited this jewish guy and asked him "so how does it feel being a jew in Iran?" (im sure we are all aware of Ahmadenijad's ultimate goal to vanquish Israel from the face of the earth)

jew guy (JG): It's really wonderful! i dont see any difference if you're a jew or a muslim here, everyone is living together peacefully. my family has been here for 40 generations. this is my home. my birthplace.

Host: how many synagogues do you have here?

JG: 25 (bnayak gak tu; tapi tak sebanyak US la kot)

Host: (turns to camera) iran has the highest number of jewish population in the middle east, aside from israel, makes you wonder how ironic this whole thing is.

then he met another Jewish guy (JG 2) who was one of the ex-parliament member of iran. and he asked a question what we malaysians call soalan cepumas;

Host: doesn't it bother you that Iran and Israel doesnt get along? that iran practically wants to vanquish israel from the face of the earth?

JG 2: no. im actually supporting my country in this matter. i hate israel.

host: (muke surprised giler) you dont like israel?

JG 2: im an iranian, not an israeli; what israel is doing is wrong. and there is a very fine line between judaism and zionism. you'd be surprised that there's a lot of jews who opposes israel.

there you have it. an iranian jew who actually supports the destruction of israel. HOW COOL IS THAT?

I like discovery channel. it shows programs like this. my dad should be grateful im such a nerd, and likes discovery channel, History, national geographic and all sorts. instead of MTV. HAHA.

A-TEAM YG TAK INCLUDE AKU

sometimes people cannot comprehend why we are not as keen on a person as they are. they forget to rewind and remember the history that that particular person (lets call that person A) has with us.

people think i'm the mean one, but they forgot that A has left a dent in my heart for quite some time, its hard to mend it now, more than ever. especially if A is acting like an ignorant person and expects bygones be bygones when not even an apology was uttered. the simple fact was, A was mean to me, not to others, and i think the best word would be selective meanness. that's when A targets me as the her/his mean spot, and left us bewildered why on earth did we get this sort of treatment when A was so nice to everyone else.

makes you wonder if something is wrong with you. but i think i've had enough of self-pity. after two decades of it, i think im going to move on from here.

EH? boleh blog? bukan kene block ke?

KUIH SHOPPING SPREE

yesterday i followed en bad and kak ikin shopping for kuih raya and sorts. ingat nak pegi angsana je. MANE AKU NAK TAU DEPA PI SAMPAI SIMPANG RENGGAM AND RENGIT! do you know where in the world are these two places? sebelum ni, aku pun tak tau! TAPI, SEJAK SEMALAM. OH MAN OH MAN OH MAN. now aku tau. walaupun kalau nak suruh pegi lagi, tak kuasa la. JAUH NAK MAMPOS.

imagine this, you're in a middle of nowhere, just the normal kampung scenery, and suddenly from a distance you could see dozens of cars parked at the roadside and there was even a RELA guy manning the traffic. HAH. hebat tak hebat tempat kampung ni.

die jual ape? KEREPEK, KUIH, KEREPEK, KUIH, KACANG TUMBUK SATU BALANG, KUIH KAPIT (YUM YUM), and macam2 lagi. i bought like 1 kg of keropok roda; and it was only RM 6.50! so imagine how cheap the stuff they're selling at these two places. sampai dua plastik besar macam garbage bag la aku beli. KUIH KAPIT (love letters) tak payah cakap la, i bought three packets (BIG ONES!)

amik ko. raya ni melantak kerepek and kuih kapit sampai muntah.HAHA

SACRIFICE EH?

when i first got the offer to work in Johor, have to say i was a bit apprehensive. it would be the first time being away from my family, and also the second time ill actually embark on a long-distance relationship.

looking back, it's been almost a year, and we're still going on strong. there was never a moment of doubt, even when we're 300 km apart. it made the relationship even more special, knowing that you go the extra length to see one another when u have the chance. :) makes you appreciate one another even more.

i mean, johor is not so bad, yeah, it doesnt have any krispy kreme nearby, or subway (sebenarnye bukan aku makan sangat pun, saje mengade ntah ape-ape) or chilli's (lagi la malas nak makan, i can actually count the times i've ever eaten there when im in KL). BUT, its the place i choose to work, doing something i've always dreamed about.

something that i wont go regretting the next 5 years down the road only wondering what-ifs, because i took the chance and not afraid of doing it all the way. come 2 years. and the experience is priceless. :)

it made all the cravings of glazed doughnuts worthwhile :)

weekend was great

if i knew kg baru was so annoyingly congested, i wouldnt have gone there with my car. but somehow after seeing most of my classmates who i havent met in a long time made it all worth the cursing and cilok-cilok in kg baru. but the food was *YUCK*

the night ended with a relaxed coffee and chocolate drinking session at Coffee Bean in Pavillion with Nina Tee and Faliq, as i melantak the long-awaited Krispy Kreme *yg dah lame aku asyik tweet about*.

the earlier part of the day saw me strolling through Pavillion (lagi!) with Khairun as we gossiped on the latest dits of our lives.

somehow these sort of things always makes me feel normal. like i havent even left KL. :)

beza singapore dgn sini

My parents are here. they're currently staying at Kozi Hotel which is in Danga Bay. the hotel is nice, for a budget hotel. its clean, and it has a flat screen tv with some astro channels, plus singapore channels. as ayah was surfing the channels, he came across singapore channel, in which mr lee hsien long (i think i got the correct name for singapore's PM) was briefing to singaporeans about their plans to upgrade the public transit system. the way he explained in such details, showing his utmost understanding on the new plans shamed myself when i reflect upon Malaysia's own leaders. we would never have this here. a PM briefing to mass malaysians how the upgrading will work, how it benefits the public, where it will be upgraded, etc; with such details and interest, showing that he himself is involved in this overall plan; not just being shoved with a script and bagi ucapan kat semua orang, with just a general idea of wht will happen, not as thorough as this.

it made it seem like the singaporean leader were as approachable as your next-door neighbour. so this what a real civil servant is like, you work for the people. not the other way around. i mean, we paid your salary and all that bling blings you have, did we not?

THISTLE IS THE BOMB

Had an awesome buka puasa at Thistle Hotel, sponsored by an engineer.

oh man. its the bomb. the wide selection of food is enough to make you go crazy :D they even have chocolate fondue! i ate about 5 sticks of marshmallows dipped in choc :B hahahaha talk about being greedy. dont even let me begin on their wide arrays of main dish. i didnt even touch nasi because i knew i'd be so stuffed i wont be able to eat anything else later. so; guys, listen hard, if you go to all these really cool buffets, stay away from rice. you're just going to be full without having the chance to eat anything else later. lets see, i ate lamb sirloin, beef sirloin, fish, BANYAK LA. malas nak cerita panjang.

no picture as i was too busy eating. but we did camwhored in the toilet before we entered the buffet area (ima and i).

task list

australian visa - check, waiting for ayah to pick it up for me
ticket balik friday ni- notchet. today baru nak pi beli
deposit hotel room ayah for this sunday-notchet, malam ni jugak otw balik from larkin
ticket to melborune-check
duit nak spend kat sana-AHAHA. dont ask
baju raya for adik-notchet. gaji esok baru dapat.
Buat account maybank-notchet. gaji esok baru dapat.

apa daaa..banyak giler uncheck dari check.

I DIDNT TELL FALIQ I BOUGHT THE KING-FU SHOES BECAUSE I KNOW HE'D BE PISSED. HAHA

as you could guess from my tweets, my car battery died. aiyeh. so ma-fan la. now had to rely on bobo for transport. and for him to masukkan bateri baru tomorrow :( tiba-tiba tak best takde kete.

went back during the weekend to spend buka time with the family. :) and after faliq finished work at about 8, he picked me up (along with his trusty sidekicks hirzi and sidiq) so i could go to Jalan TAR for my tudung shopping session. HOOOHOOO and with this, comes 3 fashion advisors yg sampai nak argue gile2 suh aku pilih tudung yg mane satu, chill la guys. HAHAHA.

THE SUPER MANJA KIDDIES. tak leh blah, asal orang duduk je datang kat kite lepas tu terus tido. rase nak gulung2 jadi furball and baling sebab comel and mengada-ngada

the kung-fu shoes ive been dying to have for so long, siap nak tanye mamat dalam lrt mane die beli when i saw him wearing it. its SUPER COMFY.

mini ritters sport joe bought for me at Oman's airport. SEDAP. within seconds sume orang kebas. CES. ayah got the best one, PRALINE flavoured.

had to decline jaja's invitation to join her for buka. NEXT TIME tau ja. ni aku nak balik ni lagi sekali ni. banyak plak plans :P

saya hanyalah manusia normal

finding it the hard way that you're only a normal person with no SPECIAL ABILITIES OR TALENTS THAT MAKE PEOPLE GO HOO HAA over you.

Went to johor's famous night bazaar or fondly known as Pasar Segget; because my mum wants me to buy for her a pair of crocs knock-offs. AND SAMBIL MENYELAM MINUM AIR LA BRADER. i bought three new scarves.

now im wearing one of the new scarves. i liked it because it has printed stars HEHEHEHE (Forgive my childishness. it tends to creep out each time Ramadhan is here)

cant for today's office hours to end. going back to KL with joe XD

designer jacket

yesterday had an awesome buka puasa session at Pulai Springs Resort, this really nice golf-course cum hotel Place where benalec, a construction company doing a project in Puteri Harbour belanja the whole PH staffs for buka puasa.

i wore the turquoise blazer faliq's mum gave me. it drew much criticisms and comments from everyone, i guess due to its OTT look, but frankly, i quite like it. even if it's OTT. i mean, its a designer's item for crying out loud, so please expect something original and outrageous. and gorgeous :D

this is for sue, since i was telling her about this via ym.

the front elevation

belakang elevation

i just love the batik motifs. though the ribbons tend to get in the way while i was trying to scoop my meal, and eat in peace :P please excuse the picture yang tak berape sharp, ye lah, camera phone i 2.0 megapixel jeah.

the gorgeous pool that welcomed us hungry people

FOOD GALORE

bob, johor ni kalau bosan time puasa buat ape

ntah la. kami pegi bazaar ramadhan je kat sini.

and i can tell you, they are the shiz in conducting all these bazaar ramadahan okaayyyy...

banyak gile makanan. yg malangnya i havent even heard of. please excuse my KL-upbringing ignorance.

just the other day my housemate made bubur centil. a desert dish that comprises of flour balls dunked in a cream made of gula melaka and santan. YUMMY.

i will take photos just to tell you how crazy they are of these bazaars. its actually quite cool, nampak macam semangat berpuasa. unlike the dismal subang jaya bazaar khairun and i used to throng when we were teenagers.

solat terawih niat kene betul

I cant believe how fast time flew by. and next week is payday. YAY! and my parents are coming to johor. DOUBLE YAY!

last saturday my housemates and i went for our terawih at the main mosque of johor, Masjid Sultan Abu Bakar, a splendid mosque of moorish architectural elements built in the 1900s is enough to make me giddy. while i was busy observing the architecture (walaupun gelap tapi nampak cantik okayyy), my housemates were busy cuci-mata (as faliq puts it, niat nak pegi terawih ni nak usha orang ke pegi terawih) HAHA

selepas 8 rakaat, i thot we were about to pack up and leave when all the three housemates were still in the saf, "kite buat 8 je kan?" i asked. "kite buat sampai habis-lah", replied kak ikin, the eldest amongst us four.

23 rakaat! nak tergoyang kaki buat, cobaannnnn...kuat kan iman sikit, dah rakaat ke-18, khusyuk ke tak, aku pun tak tau. tapi it was quite an experience. the first time for me to go all the way. *pats back

p/s: semayang sampai dah tak kira berape rakaat dah.

exhausted

i find that keeping up with the world exhausts me, keeping up with people is even more exhausting.

 looks like you're screwed mate. my heart whispered viciously. fuck. i think i made the wrong turn. as i was about to turn around, the road seemed to change, and now each end is a fucking cul-de-sac.

depressing thoughts are better expressed than let it lay still in the corner of one's mind.

sometimes i feel like screaming out to the atrocity of all these false pretense. but im too weak. yep.thats the problem. im too weak to even stand up for myself and tell you what a bitch you've been. life. i hate you.

bitter pill to swallow

puasa has somehow made me a little bit melancholic these days. yesterday i had to stay at the office till 8.30 pm; toiling on my paperwork, and wondering if this is all worth it.

i came across an internet article saying one of the things you'd regret as you grow older is not spending enough time with your parents. i wish life is as simple as packing up your bags and just go home. back to the arms of your parents, the only people who loves you despite your ugliness. but reality is as bitter as a panadol unswallowed, stuck at the edge of your tongue, the bitterness seeping into your tastebud as you tried to swallow it; even when you managed to, the bitterness stayed on.

its been half a year already, and i think im growing bonkers each day, loneliness starting to kill each brain cells i have left; and the bitter reality that im a grown person now, if i fucked up my job, my ayah wont be here to talk to the boss explaining to them why i misbehaved and then i'd start over again. if i fucked it up, im fucked up for good.

last night as i drove back from the office, the need to escape whatever johor represents was burning through and the only way i could think of was going to a MCD joint, getting some sundae, smelling the familiar scent of fried chicken that is similar to the joint back home. but it hit me how alone i am here, and it scared me. having no friends, nor family, especially during ramadhan could somehow break your spirit.

whenever i woke up for sahur, eating alone, id think about the times i'd have it with my parents. how i'd sleep on the couch till sahur and woke to the sound of my mum working her magic in the kitchen. how i never had to sahur alone.

growing up is a scary thing. all these while when i was a teenager, ive always dreamed about working somewhere far, making it big, having her own car; now i dont think i want that anymore, maybe a dosage of all the pretentious smiles and concerns are more than enough to make me sick. all i want is to wake me being a teenager again, in the safe arms of my parents.

SPEED LIMIT TAK LANGGAR PUN

was driving back to jb when a pick up truck honked at me, and a makcik waving vigorously. at first i thot it was some random makcik, but turned out it was really my makcik. hahaha, it was auntie ana.

she sent me a message to ask me to meet up at the ayer keroh rnr. so i did. along with en bad who was hitching a ride with me back to jb.

suddenly i received a text message from ayah. it read:

"Auntie said she saw you on the highway, and you were driving fast. please adhere to the speed limit and drive carefully".

aiyoh. ayah, i drove within speed limit la. auntie drove faster than me, she arrived berape puluh minit before me kot kat ayer keroh tu.

"why are you replying my sms? you are supposed to keep your eyes on the road, no phone while driving!"

APAKAHHHH.. sape yg bagi sms dulu in the first place... :I

ESOK PUASA!

tomorrow is puasa, and johor, is declaring a public holiday on the first day of the fasting month. ive got tons of work to do, and im not even sure what time i can get out of the office. EKK!!

but one thing for sure, tomorrow, im going to tido like nobody's business. MIAHAHAHA

Selamat berpuasa people!

ulat gonggok besar punya

friday, 6 haribulan ogos 2010, pukul 6, ima berkata, "eh, u taknak balik ke, nanti tak dapat naik bas awal". semasa itu (ok, cut the crap, i cant write in bm).

that was when we were at Ledang Heights Clubhouse, attending the UEM Land Birthday Bash (ULB ni baik betul, birthday buat party makan2, almost every month mesti ade aktiviti makan2).

so off we went to Larkin; with the harapan akan naik bas pukul 7. CIS. sangkaan aku meleset sama sekali. SEMUA TIKET SOLD OUT. ape kejadahnye sold outttttt

rupe-rupenye isnin berikut adalah hari kebangsaan singapura, tu yang depa dok bolot suma tiket tuh. tgh dok panic *ish ni mesti tak dapat balik, mampos la. ibu, ayah and faliq mesti angin satu badan* rasa nak nangis pun ade gak.

tibe2 ade la satu makeshift counter ni dok tepekik telolong jual tiket pegi KL. aku pun sepantas kilat pegi kat kaunter tu. "8.30 punye bas eh dik, RM 60". terbeliak mata kejap. double the price WEH. apesal mahal? "sume tempat sold out, sini je ade". Beggars cant be choosers can we? grudgingly i paid the RM 60 ticket and couldnt help feeling pissed off because i just got ripped off by a guy who doesnt even seem to shower for a week.

8.30 inching near, and no bus was found, FUCK. but the guy is still there, i kept a lookout for the JPJ guy who kept patrolling in case the ticket guy cabut. "ada-ada, name bus tu super" he told some angry customers who have had enough waiting. 8.45 he called out to all his "satisfied" customers, tuka tiket. tgk tgk bagi aku tiket transnasional. FUCKKKKKK. ade plak mamat ni kate, "eh, ni 31.20! apesal ko charge double!", lagi mau tanya. sah sah la kene tipu kan.

pukul 9.30 plak tu bas die. memang aku rase nak carut je tadi. tapi fuck je yg mampu aku ucapkan.

last-last sampai rumah pukul berape pagi tah. dalam bas sume compare berape ringgit depa beli tiket masing-masing. ade yang bangga beli tiket for 45 bux, walhal ade yg kene tipu sampai 65 bux.

to the ulat-ulat. eh, tak malu ke, dah la tipu orang, burukkan nama melayu plak tu. asyik nak buat easy money je. tak guna betul.

weekend summary

kenape m.night shyamalan ni tak reti nak buat movie elok sikit. the last airbender was such a fucking bore that faliq and i slept throughout the movie.

ok, disregarding the fact that we were both still in our matching purple baju kurung n baju melayu, and it was 1.00 am.

rewind balik, pegi reception ida yang ke-2; lepak at the curve with sarah and nina, and later to the BBQ gathering which witnessed my family's boisterous nature, thank god faliq seemed to enjoy himseld listening to retirees planning holiday trips to johor, melaka and mane2 la yang depa rasa nak pegi, orang tak keje dah la katakan.

and now,i have kiki back with me. :)

signs that you're losing your marbles?

last night with the hope of reducing the growing size of the laundry mound in the room; i decided to do my laundry.

this morning, as i was about to dry them outside, a small plastic object dropped out of the pocket of the shirt i wore yesterday.

It was my thumbdrive.FUCKKKKKK.. it spent the entire night in the water with laundry detergent??

I seriously have problems with keeping my memory in check. wtf is wrong with me.

MORE BLOGS OF MUSLIMAH FASHION

I like looking at blogs featuring muslimah fashion. before this i was obsessed with caribmuslimah.wordpress.com , now im haunting stylishmuslimah.blogspot.com  and hijabscarf.blogspot.com.

im always in awe of individuals with authentic style in fashion, that they're able to pull off almost anything, like for instance a jumper suit, and yet look chic without looking like some mechanic.

i dont know if  i will ever be able to emulate their style because, well, ive yet to garner that eye for fashion just yet. :P i really prefer to be just in my jeans, flats, and cardigan.

i need clothes. or maybe a fashion advisor. i think i need help. :D

the boy

the boy asked for a request he longed dreamed about.

the receipient of the question turned him down yet again.

let's not dwell on the past shall we?

moving on would've been so much easier if you weren't so damn beautiful.

all these while as my dreams have been filled with images of you. i find that in reality, you are nothing but a scheming asshole.

semester crush

semester crush said hello.

its been awhile. i noted.

the person who once made my heart throbbed.

whom i waited patiently to be online on yahoo messenger each night in the cold cyber cafe of the female dorm during his one month hiatus in the UK.

the one whom i have had dreams of going away with. whom i thot was perfect just because you made me laugh more than i have ever had with rahime within a span of a few days of semester breaks.

im sorry i put you up on a pedestal. who you really are, will never be as perfect as whom i envisoned you to be.

golden opportunities

the other day my mum bought me a mug from the "Generating Opportunities for Learning Disabled" also known as GOLD, from this bazaar they held at Seremban.

this is for your office, a pink mug with blue cats and flowers.

its quite a nice mug when u think about it. reflects how learning disabled students are actually able to be trained skills that can help them fend for themselves instead of having to resort to begging or forcing you to buy a RM 2 tissue whenever you're having a cup of teh tarik at the mamak place.

my parents are thinking of moving back to subang, or pj more like, in order for my sisters to gain a place in the GOLD society/club, when they finished their school. WHY? because putrajaya is filled with incompetent losers who are unable to think beyond their own personal gains to create a better life for their learning disabled child. and having a useless, idiotic headmistress who drove a merc but cannot even fathom how it feels like to have a learning disabled child in her family, doesnt help either.

so what the hell do you expect my sisters to do when my parents are no longer able to care for them, or if i get hit by the car and die? fuck you selfish people. my sisters are not able to fend for themselves thanks to you useless idiots who wont even provide them a space to bake, do gardening, or art lessons. FUCK YOU USELESS GOVT SERVANTS IN PUTRAJAYA PRECINT ##

is it just me, or being too confined within a singular race really do mess up your brain?

anyways. im happy that my sisters will be able to have a better chance in learning once they finish schooling. here's to GOLD and all that it's done for learning disabled students.

nice kan the mug?

p/s:amik ko, aku dah kutuk ko dalam project paper aku kaw-kaw. padan muka.dapat A- plak tu. memang sah sah ko bahlol.

kiddies

amoi's kiddies, from 6, are down to one. all, have sadly passed away. :(

while the 3 rascals have grown fatter, and more exuberant. sampai tak terlayan lah. :D

wonder how they'll turn out to be when they're grown up.

withstanding time and distance

there are certain people in your life that will remain unchanged even by the factor of time and distance. whenever you see each other, there is this warmth that you can only find within that person, which is absent in others. for example, even after all these years, whenever im spending some girly time with khairun, im always at my most relaxed self, and time seems to rewind back to 10 years ago and we're both giggly teenagers cracking up over the slightest things we see.

it's sad that relationships grow apart just because of distance and time. memories i guess are not enough to keep it together.

kucing-kucing saya

amoi gave birth to 6 kittens. so now there are 10 cats in my house. my mum said we should consider opening a kilang makanan kucing for a living.

cant wait to see the new kiddies :B

JOHOR HEBATTTTTT

yesterday, after a hectic day at work, bobo, ima and i joined our gossip monger marketing manager, the bad-man, or fondly known as Pakcik Sensasi and Kak Ikin at Senibong for a HUGE DINNER.

after that we decided to go for a game of bowling. and well, this is where Johor surprises me. it has a complex dedicated only for bowling. HOW COOL IS THAT? we were so in awe of the place called Daiman Bowling Centre that Bobo and i took photos in front of the place. * ye la, kat KL sume bowling alleys are located in a shopping mall. ni a complex by itself mannn*

malangnya gambar bersama ima, karena saya tak bawak phone yesterday. jadi. nantikan gambar saya bersama tempat boling terbesar johor. :D

unknown

do you know how your life would end up like 10 years down the road? when i was 14, i never thought this is what i'd become.

i didnt know i'd have to move from the place i grew up since i was 2 years old called SS19 subang jaya, to the unknown realm of bandar baru bangi.

i didnt know i was going to enter a public university, because all the while when i was growing up i kept passing by metropolitan college beside Sri KL in subang and thought that was the college i'd go to when i grow up.

i didnt know i was going to take urban planning because frankly i didnt even know there was a profession called urban planner. ye lah, time kecik dulu limited je cita-cita, orang lain nak jadi polis la, bomba la, cikgu la, so i went for the sophisticatedly-sound architect. cikgu pun terbeliak mata dengan kehebatan budak ni.sebab vocabulary tinggi.

i didnt know that my family will be going through a serious financial difficulty. if i'd known, i would've persuaded my dad to stay in maybank. :( but then,

somehow im thankful for the unknowns. because i wouldnt be where i am now.

i wouldnt have realized my family are the greatest treasure ive ever had.

i wouldnt have had the best learning experience in an internationally recognised public university

i woudlnt have gotten to know some of the best people ive ever known, the solid friends in Uni, bangi, and the person i fell in love with, faliq.

i wouldnt be able to have achived this position of being in a cool place called puteri harbour, and working in one of the largest companies in Malaysia.

im not bragging. im just telling you. its good that i didnt know my future.

to the ones that loves me for who i am

i dont think i've ever thanked you enough for accepting me the way i am.

thanks :)

aku ugly ke?

dari kecik sampai sekarang asyik kene ejek dek muka tak perfect ni. come on man, kalau aku perfect and lawa, dah lama aku jadi model.

yeah, i know ive got jongang teeth. so what? it does not make it difficult for me to eat, even though i cant shut my mouth like any "normal" people do, but i dont think i look f***ing ugly.

ive been bullied because of this. do you know how it feels like to be bullied and jeered at? just because of the way you LOOK? wah lau wei. it affected me so much that till now im having some problems with being confident about myself.

i cant seem to feel good about myself without people looking at me like im some freakshow. ye lah, you can only take so much right? you're not a the prophet. you dont have that much forgiveness to give away like freebies.

the boyfriend's mum

when its about time, i get shivers down my spine. or worse, ill be fussing furiously over what im wearing (which is usually okay, but when the time comes for THAT moment, i look bloody sakai) and i wonder if my pimples are making me 100% uglier.

yes, im talking about meeting the boyfriend's mum. even after two years she still has this effect on me.

the first time i met izat's (my ex) mum, it was actually quite pleasant. yes, given the fact that our mothers knew each other when they were teenagers, so the atmosphere was cool and collected. there was this one time she even peeled off the prawn's skin for me during dinner.

when izat and i broke up (it was a nasty break-up), she asked why i stopped coming over the house (owh,she was such a nice lady).

another experience is also iqbal's mum, but that didnt really count because our mothers were good friends (the subang circle was very small, all of our friends' mothers' knew each other).

now, with faliq, whom i think might be THE ONE. its a totally different experience. i think it was because we came from a totally different background, and i took for granted over the fact that all of my previous boyfriend's mothers knew me and my FAMILY. so this one. HAHA. LAIN SAMA SEKALI.

my first encounter two years ago was a totally scary experience which involves me sipping my drink *with as much ayu-ness as i can ooze out of my system* and not saying a word while she coolly rates me as she have her meal.

and then the relationship grew over the period of time. she is a designer by profession, therefore she places great importance on your image, and how you present yourself, while i am usually comfortable in my slouchy pants and slippers. she has commented my dressing sense, which i try very hard to abide by her comments each time i see her. but i can only go so far, because in the end, i have to stick by my guns, right? i know i dont wear foundation like she suggested but i try to be more presentable in manner. :) *especially when im meeting her. and the fact that i cant cook and completely useless in house chores, doesnt help either :P

it takes a lot of effort trying to win her heart. not that much actually; faliq kept reminding me to just be myself. and i did.

i dont know if i've succeeded, but i must say we're doing ok. *free designer tops do signal good relationships righttt???* and i hope she knows deep down inside that i love her son truly madly deeply.

p.ramlee's messages

p.ramlee movies never fail to make me laugh, even when ive already watched it for maybe the umpteenth time.

but now that im older, (and probably wiser. ececeh, perasan rase macam nak sepak diri sendiri), only i realized the hidden messages behind his movies. how it reflects the malay dilemma (takde kene mengena dengan buku tun Mahathir); several instances:

1. in pendekar Bujang Lapuk, when Pendekar Mustar asked why sudin's job is so darn hard (kira bulu beruang ke ape ke), he said, "nak buat macamane, dah nasib badan.."; reflects how malays can be complacent that it sometimes affect the "pembangunan bangsa melayu".

2. this movie baru perasan kat this particular scene nampak sangat ape p.ramlee nak sampaikan, in seniman bujang lapuk; when the jaga (sikh guard) was grumbling how sudin was rude, P. Ramlee said, "bahasa kan menunjukkan bangsa kita",

3. and another part when a guy asked the sikh guard what the three bujang lapuks were up to, he said, "diorang mau cari kerja la", and then the guy laughed and said "muka macam tu pun ada hati nak jadi film star ke", and then the sikh said something that caught my attention, "sama-sama bangsa pun nak dengki, macamane lu punya bangsa mau maju, ini hari die punya rezeki, esok lusa lu punya rezeki, sama-sama makan la".

perghhh..gile la. kalau orang tak tangkap benda ni, aku pun tak tau nak kata ape la. memang terbukti melayu ni memang ada perangai macam tu, tak boleh nampak orang senang sikit dari die, mesti nak dengki, ape pasal pun aku tak tau. sampai ade yang nak guna ilmu hitam la ape la (tak leceh ke buat bende syirik mcam tu, dah la busuk,lepas tu kene laknat Allah plak tu).

faliq, i know we've debate about the malay issue before this, but we have to agree that malays do have a problem. i dont know exactly how to point to the core of this matter, but we have a problem. and i think the reason being why we are still doing okay is because we're given the crutches to stand on by the government (like what Tun Mahathir said).

LOOK. I AM NOT SICK OF JOHOR, IM JUST TELLING YOU HOW MUCH I MISS KL

the last homecoming has somehow made me feel a bit complacent about living in johor. being away has not been the best part of my life, but has helped me grow to become a better person. it makes me appreciate the people in my life, with little time i have to make use to the fullest when im back.

though i didnt get to attend Tee's birthday party organised by Nina, im hoping i get to see them (this includes radhi) when i come back end of this month. Nina, i hope you're reading this! and mizi too, its been awhile since i've seen him, and i miss his exuberence like crazy.

had lunch with amir, and he hasnt change one bit since i last saw him. well, that was only a few months back, but somehow i miss having him around. he's like a big brother that will tell me straight to my face if im acting stupid, but never quite practice what he preaches and in the end we're both miserable fools :D

spent most of the time with family and faliq and it never makes the parting easy. topped with a kenduri with the entire family (though not all) made this born and bred in KL girl to tears because she misses the family and could only be with them if she takes an extra day leave just to have more time with them.

the quiet saturday was spent with faliq.(we didnt lepak with anyone because NO MONEY! sorry nina n jaja). and it was just perfect with a homecooked fried rice (faliq yang masak!) and a good dose of tv before we dozed off like a couple of old fogie in front of the talking box.

when my aunt asked if id like to bring my boyfriend to the kenduri, and i said, "faliq? okay je"; and she seemed surprised "still together ah?". no wonder tak mention name sape2 when she asked me, for fear of me changing boyfriends macam dolu-dolu. alhamdulillah la. dah 2 tahun, in a long distance relationship some more, and still going strong. now i know what it feels like being in a REAL relationship. *ive always wondered how they do it, you know, friends who have partners abroad, or living in another state*.

LIFE IS A BITCH~sometimes

people dissapoint you without them even knowing about it. things dont always work out the way you've always planned.

and life is not as rosy as you would like it to be. think you've got the balls to go through it?

I DO.

TIBE-TIBE TERUJA JADI PERMANENT

received my insurance card today. which means, i dont have to pay my medical claims and wait for the stupid HR to reimburse my claims. YAY!!

kalau ikutkan, dah berape ringgit hangus sebab HR ade je alasan tak nak bayar claims aku, tension pun ade gak. tapi malas nak layan, sengaja nak serabutkan otak orang.

the day for payday is inching near, and i cant barely keep myself from grinning, i will be getting my first pay as an executive and im going to rock this shit!

*let's just hope i dont spend it all like i did with my trainee paycheck. HAHA

INGAT ADE KETE NI MURAH KE

the bank called. my loan is approved. i need to sign all the papers and ill get back kiki as soon as i know it :)

today ima hit a dog. the poor dog met it's death, and we were left with a cracked bumper and a leaking radiator by the roadside. i saw one by one of my colleagues passing by, not noticing us two by the roadside looking like lost muppets. i called bobo, and thankfully he was on his way to the office; so he'll pass by us. it costs ima RM 350 to fix her car and bobo reminded me a grim reminder about how having a car is never cheap. * i am reminded about the same thing amir told me before i had kiki. always have spare cash, or else you'll be in deep shit; like for instance today; it was fated for us to meet with a suicidal dog that appeared out of nowhere.

i will need to get leave on friday in order for me to sign the papers. somehow i cant wait to come back home :)

even though poket tgh kosong. ayah was baffled by the fact that im pokai already. he said, im really worried about you, what did you do with ur cash? well, i spent it of course. what else?

stupid heart

my heart is a treacherous form in my body. it does not follow what the brain and logic says; it prefers to be a soliditary component of its own with it's own "opinions" that it wants you to do.

it has made me cry out in rage, sadness, and happiness. this heart of mine is an entity of its own that i dont even know what it wants for me, whether it wants me to be happy; or it's fucking pissed at me that it wishes to destroy me with this thing called love.

yes. love is often terrible than what it seems like in the tv. theres more crying, shouting, pain and heartache than the lovey-dovey scenes where the couple runs happily in the meadow together holding hands.

who am i to talk about love? my knowledge of it seems small and insignificant as compared to say, my parents. sometimes i look at them with envy. how did they know that they are meant for one another? how did they know that this is person i will never grow tired of holding hands with even when im 50 years old, and im old, fat, and boring.

love is indeed amazing. but all im experiencing is the pain. where is the happiness?

maybe the heart wants me to be patient. but i dont know how much longer i have to be.

malam yang panjang

yesterday had a great all-expense paid dinner at soul thai, bukit indah; courtesy of en junaidi. he was nice enough to change the menu for a change after kak yan told him i was quite "muak" of seafood. HAHA. tak sempat nak amik gambar makanan sebab everyone wolfed it all down within seconds. ok tipu; tak la seconds, but cepat la jugak ayam tu habis.

after the dinner, bobo called and asked if i want to hang out. so he picked me up from bukit indah and we went to SINGGAH SELALU (this place in johor which is equivalent to hartamas square). did i tell you we got a new marketing manager? bobo has gone around telling everyone "nasib aku dah terbela sekarang; now orang takleh buli aku dah"; so anyways, we decided to invite en.bad (the new manager) to singgah selalu; but he called and invited us to join him for a karaoke session. pulak. pegi la ke pelangi leisure mall, masuk red box (sebenarnye ini adalah 1st time masuk, best jugak, lagu english banyak seh; siap ada depeche mode lagi).

kalau ade surveillance camera kat dalam bilik tu mesti mamat guard tu dah tergelak sampai jatuh kerusi tgk 3 orang sakai terkinja-kinja menari sambil menyanyi lagu; padahal suara tak sedap mana pun. (okay, en bad punye voice was good; its just me and bobo -.-"). melalak sampai pukul 3 okay; its amazing that i managed to wake up this morning and arrived at the office 10 minutes early.

tapi ending malam itu disaksikan peristiwa bangang rasa nak tampar orang ni. ade la 3 orang chinese ladies ni nak bayar parking tiket. selalu tak sampai 5 minit dah habis bayar; ni mase nak bayar la baru thegeh-hegeh selongkar beg for small change. lepas tu; tak faham bahasa, dah kat tempat bank note tu merah, nak jugak force the note to masuk. bile en.bad told them that you have to wait, in chinese (he can speak fluent chinese); all they did was give him the look; lepas tu, masukkan note tak pass2; bile aku nak try tunjuk, tak bagi (weh, aku dah banyak practice kot masukkan note dalam machine ni; kaki naik lrt kot! hebat dah la); amik ko, orang bodoh sombong. buat orang lain menyumpah kau. padan muka.

ish.geram bile ade orang bodoh sombong lepas tu menyusahkan orang. totally kills the mood man.

medical check up

woke up late today because of the stupid germany-spain game. nasib baik ade medical check up, so tak kesah terbangun lambat pun. ISH. and germany was playing poorly that i somehow regretted staying up for the game. TGK! DAH LAMBAT BANGUN

went for my medical check up; because it's required once you're confirmed as a permanent staff. we got lost in Johor Bahru going round kebun teh for god knows how many times, with the useless google map ima printed, and finally found the stupid clinic after being lost for almost half an hour. ape kes uem pakai clinic ni pun aku tak tau, dah la jauh, susah plak tu nak cari. ISH

the staffs were not what i call friendly and welcoming, and ima got scolded by the x-ray guy for not doing the posisi amik x-ray right. while i got scolded because i somehow forgot to mention i had high cholesterol. when the doctor asked me if id taken oats in the morning i said no. she asked why, and i said because they taste like horse shit (well, i didnt say THAT; i just said they dont taste so good); and again she scolded me for not taking oats. APAKAHHHH.. tak sedap laaaaa

when she was checking my stomach, it was growling fiercely as both of us had yet to eat anything for breakfast and the doctor somehow chuckled.

again she reminded me to take my oats before i leave. yeah. right.

pep talk episode berape tah ni

consulted another colleague about my snake dream, she told me"kalau ular tu patuk awak, maksudnye ade orang nak datang meminang la tu; kalau tak, maksudnye ade musuh dekat dgn awak".

shittt....okay, the snake didnt bit me, but i got part of the venom when that stupid two-headed thing bit my cat. is that considered as being bitten? or maybe there is an enemy lurking somewhere.

EH, INGAT TAK NAK PERCAYA BENDE KARUT MACAM NI.

yesterday, got this super-duper pep talk from by boss. i dont know what triggered her to give these sort of talks. it started with her complimenting my qualities, and in the middle of it, blasted my inefficiencies, and ended with her saying she wants me to make her proud, because i am by far the most dynamic employee (or so she says, she has a really good way with putting words together to make you feel bloody good about yourself).

i left with mixed-feelings because i was a bit stunned that she stated im lacking in spirit lately, but a bit happy that she said i have so much potential to be unleashed. which means, there's still hope!

working does that to you i guess. ive been through a series of pep talk with her, and each time im left feeling like ive just won a lottery, but my gains are about to be taken away by the govt over unpaid taxes. (faham tak niii)

nak plak, aku sorang je yang kene pep talk ni. that shows that there is something wrong with me! ho my goddddddd.

p/s:muke masuk web page company, menandakan kenaikan pangkat. muke macam haram buruk. siot betul

mystic

yesterday i dreamt of a two-headed cobra that later killed one of my cats. i woke up with a heart beating so fast it seemed like a train-wreck and i nearly cried. i told ima about my dreams and she said "wah. best la nak kawen dah".

i was dumbfounded because it was a shit-ass scary dream (my cat died for gods sakes!) and how the hell does this relates to one encroaching marriage life anytime soon from now?

when i asked her "betul ke", she nodded vigorously and said it is true. i bit my tongue from asking her to give me proof because it will seem useless and ive never been much of a malay mythical believer. (yeah, like that crap about going into the forest and mintak permission from the djinns; ape kes, Allah is the owner of all beings in the world, so i think He should be the rightful owner for us to seek permission from Him).

but i think in the case, im just going to rebuff this belief. *sorry ima :( i believe that our jodoh comes from Allah. and this is my fate so be it.

searching for your own personal legend

i have just finished reading The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho. a great book with messages that has made me realized the purpose why im here in Puteri Harbour.

thanks mr. coelho.

this is for you

in pursuit of our own dreams, sometimes we tend to forget about the people who have made it happened in the first place.

okay. im feeling a bit melancholic here, suddenly a wave of an overwhelming sense of homesickness has made me doubt my decision of accepting the permanent post here.

i miss my parents.

its because of them that im here, on the road to achieve my dreams. and it's also them that has kept me going despite having to face such a shitty condition being far away from home.

im a baby. ill admit that.

but i think you dont know what it's like to have ur world falling apart and the only treasures that you have now is your family. i dont have a home, not even a room ill calll my own. but i have my family.the most unselfish persons ive ever known my whole life. and i really should be grateful for having great parents that has stood by me all these years.

i do this for them.

pictures pictures and pictures

okay. thank god i managed to access my memory card. PHEW.

now. i present to you. the pictures.

tigger. the fattest among the three. she was bored, watching marmalade playing with a cockroach till it meets its death *padan muka, hate roaches* and looked up when ibu called her, aku panggil tak pandang plak. siot betul.

chocolate and books are one of my biggest liability

urmm...

GROANS HUNGRILY

cupcake from bisou, KLCC. do not buy this. its dry, tasteless and a waste of my RM5. *OVERPRICEDSUMMORE!

A nice trip back home.

Whenever i come back home, it never fails to comfort me with the fact that im surrounded by people i care and love, and loves and cares for me.

faliq and i celebrated our second anniversary with a quiet date that ended with me eating my much loved and thoroughly missed indo mee goreng burger at hartamas. :)

the kittens were becoming even more manja now that amoi is pregnant again, so im guessing they are experiencing the "kurang kasih sayang" or lack of love syndrome now that they cant even get close to their mother without being growled at. so, to overcome this, they turn to my parents who was happily deceived by their cuteness; not knowing the underlying mischeviousness they possess. and we found out that marmalade is actually a boy. great.

spent the entire holidays catching up with friends, (yes i know, ramai lagi tak berjumpa. next homecoming trip ok?) and just spending the extra time i have with the family and faliq :) he was so happy having me around that he sees me everyday the whole time i was in kl. even for a brief meeting of 30 minutes at pavillion before i leave for johor. aww. thanks for the attention sayang :)

and another perk was finding three books for awesomely cheap price! 18 ringgit each, they had all these famous books, and i chose The Alchemist, The Catcher in the Rye and Faliq chose Neil Gaiman's Neverwhere. hopefully they have the same book fair next month and i can buy more books!

i miss kl. always will. pictures will be uploaded later because the phone is being a bitch.

confirmed to be your slave. FOR NOW.

i am a confirmed permanent staff in UEM Land. YIPPE YA YAY!

received the news on Tuesday after watching Toy Story 3 with my sisters and my mum.

thanks UEM.